Where all the umbrellas go?

[pascal]

Observation with a philosophical question.
In the past I lost many umbrellas but I never found one !

Where all the umbrellas go?

 

[London Geezer]

Same place where my odd socks go. Put them in pairs in the washing machine, they never come out in pairs.
Same place where my virginity went...

 

[MuFu]

Think I found my virginity just recently.

 

[drpepper]

Observation with a philosophical question.
In the past I lost many umbrellas but I never found one !

Where all the umbrellas go?

check the lost and found.

 

[digitalwanderer]

You want to talk about disapearing socks? I have THREE socks right now. Not three pairs, but three socks!

My damned puppies got this strange thing for my dirty socks, they hunt them out of the laundry baskets and destroy them. My wife bought me 8 new pairs 2 weeks ago, and now I have three socks.

Oh, and I don't have an umbrella right now either.

 

[John Reynolds]

Think I found my virginity just recently.

I'm afraid to ask exactly which orifice on your body just regrew its hymen.

 

[drpepper]

Bringing back an old topic... Umbrellas are old, this is the new hotness.

Wait a minute, I've seen that before!

 

[Fodder]

check the lost and found.

Indeed. I have a bunch of umbrellas on the shelf behind me.

 

[Simon F]

Observation with a philosophical question.
In the past I lost many umbrellas but I never found one !

Where all the umbrellas go?

They go to lost property departments and then on to auction houses who then sell off dirt cheap. We bought 10 (some golf umbrella size!) for only 5 pounds! Now if only I knew where all of those were...

 

[_xxx_]

The umbrellas, socks and l-b's virginity are in the land of GFFX5800. They play Stalker all day there.

 

[London Geezer]

.... someone's been stalking me to get to my virginity?! And they bought a 5800?? I don't know what's worse! The perviness or the crap choice in graphics cards!

 

[_xxx_]

.... someone's been stalking me to get to my virginity?!

Yeah, Duke Nukem. And he's been doing it forever already.

 

[Captain Chickenpants]

Umbrellas go to the same place as pens, socks etc. the Allocated Zones!
I suggest you read the 'Book of Ultimate Truths' to learn more about this horrifying phenomenon.

CC

 

[_xxx_]

Strangely, I continuously find pens which I'm pretty sure I never had. So if you wonder where yours are, they're probably at my place

 

[London Geezer]

Umbrellas go to the same place as pens, socks etc. the Allocated Zones!
I suggest you read the 'Book of Ultimate Truths' to learn more about this horrifying phenomenon.

CC

Do you have time for a brief explanation?

 

[nintenho]

Observation with a philosophical question.
In the past I lost many umbrellas but I never found one !

Where all the umbrellas go?

"uselessness is the language of the ignorant."

Gawd, I love that quote.

 

[nutball]

Umbrellas + socks + pants + biros make up 80% of the dark matter in the Universe.

 

[nutball]

Umbrellas + socks + pants + biros make up 80% of the dark matter in the Universe(*).







(*) Scientifically proven FACT

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

CS:S has a lot of drama queens playing it. Why?

 

[mcsven]

Umbrellas + socks + pants + biros make up 80% of the dark matter in the Universe(*).

Ah, but we at least know part of that equation:

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a very unevenly edited book and contains many passages that simply seemed to its editors like a good idea at the time.

One of these (the one Arthur now came across) supposedly relates the experiences of one Veet Voojagig, a quiet young student at the University of Maximegalon, who pursued a brilliant academic career studying ancient philology, transformational ethics and the wave harmonic theory of historical perception, and then, after a night of drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with Zaphod Beeblebrox, became increasingly obsessed with the problem of what had happened to all the biros he'd bought over the past few years.

There followed a long period of painstaking research during which he visited all the major centres of biro loss throughout the galaxy and eventually came up with a quaint little theory which quite caught the public imagination at the time. Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the colour blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to biro life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended biros would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely biroid lifestyle, responding to highly biro-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the biro equivalent of the good life.

And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book, and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make a fool of themselves in public.

When one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voojagig had claimed for this planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

I still miss Adams...