Developers, what are some of the craziest things you seen or heard about?

Discussion in 'Console Industry' started by Brimstone, May 1, 2006.

  1. ShootMyMonkey

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    For that matter, a right-facing Swastika had been in existence for a few millennia before there were ever Nazis. Hinduism and Buddhism both use the swastik as a symbol -- the Nazi swastika is simply rotated 45 degrees and removes the circles from the open spaces. I doubt very many people are aware of that, though.

    There are plenty of games that included Buddhist imagery where they were very careful to remove all instances of the swastik (from photo samples and such) to avoid offending people.
     
  2. Shifty Geezer

    Shifty Geezer uber-Troll!
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    Which of course leaves everyone with a wrong impression of what the symbol meant before it's Nazi corruption. Better to pander to everyone's prejudices and misconceptions then educate them as to their narrow-mindedness...

    ho hum.
     
  3. Magnum PI

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    reminds me of the big deal that is made about nazi items from WWII, where yahoo was tried by some french organizations for selling them..

    you never know, neo-nazis could buy a dozen of helmets then invade poland !
     
  4. fearsomepirate

    fearsomepirate Dinosaur Hunter
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    It's as though the symbol has this magical power to turn people into genocidal maniacs in a way that dressing up in fascist uniforms and mowing down Americans with MP40s doesn't.
     
  5. ShootMyMonkey

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    Well, you know, when you shoot people and don't pay them, it can take a while for them to realize.
     
  6. poopypoo

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    *crying from laughter* i think this is giving me an ulcer... but it's a HAPPY ULCER!! ;_;
     
  7. cthellis42

    cthellis42 Hoopy Frood
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    Ya know, it's just 99% of Nazis that give the rest a bad name. Don't be so judgemental!
     
  8. zsouthboy

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  9. Darkon

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  10. ShootMyMonkey

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    So here's one of the weirder ones... Where the creature... well... I'm guessing it had a slip of the tongue, but rather than correct itself, it just went on with its flub and made it sound more like it was me who was lacking in vocabulary. Either that, or it just believed that such a word existed.

    It : So, I have to ask you something. This is a total mystery to me.
    Me : Okay.
    It : So my plan has always been to take this game and swap it around.
    Me : Swap it around?
    It : Yeah.
    Me : What do you mean swap it around? Swap what?
    It : Well, you know like the textures and the new looks for this and that.
    Me : ...and?
    It : And the thing is that all this stuff out there and all the guys tell me that doesn't work.
    Me : What do you intend to achieve by changing the content alone?
    It : Basically, if you take a game that sells 40 million copies and make it look better the next time, it will sell 50 million... you know?
    Me : What makes you think content changes alone will do that? For that matter, where do you get nonsense like 40 million sales?
    It : Well, if you kill these alien machines, and then they're like high optonic aliens later, it's a whole new game, isn't it?
    Me : Yyyyyou lost me with the "optonic aliens" part. *struggling to contain laughter* I have no idea what that is.
    It : Come on man, I thought you programmers were supposed to be almost smart.
    Me : I've never heard the word "optonic" in my life.
    It : Well, worry about that later, but when you're making things look like the state of the art in being totally futuristic and functional... you know... the next step is improving on that futuristic vision. You know, this is the thing I've always got in my head.
    Me : Okay, but the state of the art in what you can achieve is a moving target.
    It : Yeah, but we have codes that work, and when new technology comes around, you just use it.
    Me : Which means more work on both content and code side. Using the new technology means telling the machine to use it and how you want it used.
    It : But then it'll also be smarter and think more so that it knows what I want.
    Me : That was an incredible misconception.
    It : Well, I'm saying that making new aliens is about how they look. It's like when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, it's a whole new existence.
    Me : So the machine doesn't have to worry about what the devil "optonic" means. And hopefully, I won't either. We'll just turn into butterflies.
    It : Are all gamers out there as thick as this?
    Me : Yes.... yes, they are.

    I'd almost forgotten about this one completely, but it was a string of many such cases that were saved in some very old emails.
     
    #270 ShootMyMonkey, Aug 1, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2006
  11. StefanS

    StefanS meandering Velosoph
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    Lol, Quantum Hitler is more popular than Mario!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Bros.#Worldwide_Sales
     
  12. ShootMyMonkey

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    What gets me more is the whole idea that a computer will gain some sort of psychic abilities in the future so that what the creature desired at that point may be achieved because it thought it. It seemed to be a recurring theme with this guy that it was under the impression that more powerful technology automagically affects the end result without you having to do anything (and the apparent explanation for this was "isn't that what it means to be backwards-compatible?").

    Well, that and the whole "the machine is thinking" notion. There was a time when the creature brought its brother in and tried to describe everything we were doing. I walked in when it was talking about AI (this was relatively early and the creature hadn't learned the word "AI" yet, moreover, it involved an earlier AI guy than the one mentioned in previous quotes) --
    It : What ****** is working on here is called the 'A.P.I.', or the artificially produced intelligence. What he's doing is making it look like the enemies here are thinking. Or rather, I should say... They ARE thinking. The point is that they're thinking on a higher level than normal computers do.
     
  13. Npl

    Npl
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    OMG, that did hit me hard :lol:, I never thought of a "high level API" that way.
    Whats the most scary thing is that I already have a vivid image of the creature and the related conversation:

    It: "So how are you doing?"
    Coder: "I just finished the high level API, the rest basically writes itself"
    It: "You mean you teached the computer to think?"
    Coder: "...."
    It: "Now say something!"
    Coder: "..Sure"

    PS. (again) many thanks for your storys SMM :wink:
     
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  14. ShootMyMonkey

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    That IS vivid... You even got the "teached" part right. I think you have personally advanced with new *futuristic* bio-technology that gives you psychic abilities just like a video card.
     
  15. Npl

    Npl
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    Could be, but I`m still unable to stop the kittens eat their litter :oops:
     
  16. ShootMyMonkey

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    Okay... I need to relax a bit from these recurring Nazi themed stories, and revert to ones of pure stupidity. For a brief instant, I actually read that last post as if it said "stop the kittens eating their Hitler.":???:
     
  17. zsouthboy

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    Where's my daily "It" story?


    :D
     
  18. Arwin

    Arwin Now Officially a Top 10 Poster
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    I don't think you need to. It's normal behavior, and good for their stomach.
     
  19. ShootMyMonkey

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    I'll get to it. Free time has been a little scarce, but when I get into work, I'll grab one and post it.

    Here's a quickie to tide you over until I find something more substantial.
    It : "Why was this guy on the phone saying that he'd be surprised if that game even sold 5,000 copies? I figured you put in a few hours, you make a little art, and sell a couple hundred thousand copies. I mean, if that weren't true, nobody would have bought the porcupine thing; I mean the graphics were a total joke."
    AI Guy : "Porcupine thing?"
    It : "Yeah, that thing where there's a porcupine and a nuclear fox and they run around in these tubes."
    AI Guy : "Nuclear fox?"
    Me : "I... think you're referring to Sonic the Hedgehog."
    AI Guy : "Nuclear fox?"
    Me : "I'll give him that one... He had two tails."

    EDIT :
    So here's one involving me (as the manager at that point), and a relatively junior coder who was hired to take on lighter, though more numerous, tasks.

    It : "So what do you have him working on next?"
    Me : "Well, the main thing I'm thinking for him next is to start architecting the trigger system."
    It : "Triggers? I thought I said we weren't going to use triggers."
    Me : "What? Why wouldn't we? We kind of need it for a number of things."
    It : "But we had [AI Guy] working on pathfinding all this time, and now you want to use triggers instead?"
    Me : "Not instead... This is mutually exclusive of pathfinding."
    It : "Exactly. That's the problem. We have to mutually exclude pathfinding if you want to do this crap."
    Jr. Coder : "That's not what this is about. This is in addition to [AI Guy]'s work. Initially, it's going to have more to do with the player or anybody else being in certain locations and 'triggering' actions in the world."
    Me : "Exactly, for things like doors and elevators and so on."
    It : "Well, those just plain work. Like the things at the supermarkets."
    Jr. Coder : "How do you think they work in the first place?"
    It : "You just go there and they open."
    Jr. Coder : "I mean what do you think makes them open?"
    It : "It just does."
    Me : "Those doors aren't friggin' psychic! They have to have a sensor to detect that you're there."
    It : "So just have the animators make some sensors. I don't see what's so difficult about that."
    Jr. Coder : "Just having the object doesn't mean it does anything."
    It : "Come on. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck'? I thought you programmers were supposed to have some more brains than other workers."
    Me : "That's what he's going to be doing! He's going to make sure it quacks like a duck. Artists can only make it look like a duck!"
    It : "When did we start adding ducks into the game?"
    Me : "RRRGHGHGH!!!"
    Jr. Coder : "You have to deal with this all the time?"
    Me : "Yep. Is it any wonder we can't ever get our 'ducks' in a row?"
    It : "Ducks?"
    Me : "Yes. Ducks. The ducks have to quack."
    It : "Isn't that more of a sound issue? That would make it your job rather than his.*"
    Jr. Coder : "....................."
    Me : "I'll put it simply. There's work to be done on the code side that doesn't really block anybody else's work. He's going to be doing that."
    It : "I'm going to have a talk with [AI Guy] and see what he thinks about all this trigger business."
    Me : "Yes, you do that."

    * : as I mentioned before, I was also doing sound effects and music for a good while there.
     
    #279 ShootMyMonkey, Aug 21, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2006
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  20. poopypoo

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    YAYYYYY!!!! :D *keeps the moral support up in hope of future installments*

    actually, these don't need to be excessively long or deep. This series of corny jokes abot the ducks is fantastic! I think my favorites are the ones where the dev team is mocking him and he doesn't realize it... ;)

    also, the idea of having a programmer on music duty would've caused me to bail out on this project!! ;D ooh! zing! j/k ;)
     
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