Developers, what are some of the craziest things you seen or heard about?
- Thread starter Brimstone
- Start date
DeadlyNinja
Veteran
So what happened to the canyon on Mars? I'm definitely gonna give that game a try. I hope you guys were able to implement the rainbow canyon!
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
This one is actually a very early occurrence. IIRC, it happened within the first month or two of the company's existence. It was before I was at the point where The Creature had earned its moniker. Nonetheless, for consistency's sake, I'll refer to people by the same names I'd been using thus far. In some cases, it may be a little out of place -- e.g. the guy I'd referred to as "Art Director" was actually a UI artist at this point in time, but I'll still call him "Art Director" just so you guys know I'm referring to the same person. I can't quite remember if I ever brought in a story involving the first programmer he'd hired with whom I'd gone through an actual phone interview, (the one that preceded the "Do you speak English?" interview from the Creature), so to make it simple, I just called him "Coder #1" here.
This was a state of the story that just slightly preceded the idea of the machine that wanted to learn how to laugh.
It : So when we get around to bringing Nazis into the world...
Me : Wait, wait... what?
It : I mean, I'm talking about the Nazis and the Hitler thing...
Me : Uuuh... bringing them into the world?
It : I'm talking about the game.
Me : Oh... okay, the way you said it sounded funny.
It : Did you not hear about this?
Me : You never actually told me anything about the game storyline. We've only been talking about graphics so far.
Art Director : Yeah, for that matter, I want to hear about it too.
Coder #1 : It's changed a few times, so I'm kinda half-lost by it, too.
It : Geez, you guys talk like I never tell you anything.
Art Director : Well, so far you haven't.
It : Okay, so here's how it goes. There are these alien machines, see. They're all linked as part of this hive mine to a superior neural network.
Me : ....... okay, that's just throwing out all the sci-fi words.
It : Well, anyway, the neural net comes across the people on Earth and decides to attack them, and the idea is that this is taking place during the time when the Third Reich is coming into power.
Me : So why does this "network" attack Earth?
It : Well, it needed a labor force to keep the hive mine under proper maintenance or something like that. That's a detail we can work out later. But basically these machines have, like, way superior technology, so the people would normally be no match for them.
Art Director : So it's about a war against the machines? Does Schwarzenegger say he'll be back in here somewhere?
It : No, seriously, that's why we need to have the Nazis.
Art Director : That was a weird sentence.
It : See in this case, what happens is that Hitler outsmarts the network and then he is able to control all of the machines himself. So you get this thing where the Nazis are able to quickly take over the world and they are all mechanized with all these gadgets and bells and whistles. They're all like... full of stuff.
Me : okkkaaay...
It : So there's this small population of surviving, you know, real flesh-and-blood humans and they form this resistance militia against the mechanical Nazis to try and save the world.
Me : What happened to the neural network here?
It : Hitler already beat it. You know, his was the superior intellect.
Art Director : Now those are some familiar words.
Coder #1 : I want to hear someone shout "Khan" right about now.
It : Ooooohhhh... that reminds me. I need to watch that again. I have to bring the tape in tomorrow.
Me : (light imitation, not really shouting) KHAA-AAAN!
I'm guessing that every time he spoke of "hive mines", he was probably thinking of "hive mind", but he always seemed to say "mine", so I kept it that way. Much along the lines of how he'd mention playing through Deus Ex, but when he said it, it always came out "Do Sex".
This was a state of the story that just slightly preceded the idea of the machine that wanted to learn how to laugh.
It : So when we get around to bringing Nazis into the world...
Me : Wait, wait... what?
It : I mean, I'm talking about the Nazis and the Hitler thing...
Me : Uuuh... bringing them into the world?
It : I'm talking about the game.
Me : Oh... okay, the way you said it sounded funny.
It : Did you not hear about this?
Me : You never actually told me anything about the game storyline. We've only been talking about graphics so far.
Art Director : Yeah, for that matter, I want to hear about it too.
Coder #1 : It's changed a few times, so I'm kinda half-lost by it, too.
It : Geez, you guys talk like I never tell you anything.
Art Director : Well, so far you haven't.
It : Okay, so here's how it goes. There are these alien machines, see. They're all linked as part of this hive mine to a superior neural network.
Me : ....... okay, that's just throwing out all the sci-fi words.
It : Well, anyway, the neural net comes across the people on Earth and decides to attack them, and the idea is that this is taking place during the time when the Third Reich is coming into power.
Me : So why does this "network" attack Earth?
It : Well, it needed a labor force to keep the hive mine under proper maintenance or something like that. That's a detail we can work out later. But basically these machines have, like, way superior technology, so the people would normally be no match for them.
Art Director : So it's about a war against the machines? Does Schwarzenegger say he'll be back in here somewhere?
It : No, seriously, that's why we need to have the Nazis.
Art Director : That was a weird sentence.
It : See in this case, what happens is that Hitler outsmarts the network and then he is able to control all of the machines himself. So you get this thing where the Nazis are able to quickly take over the world and they are all mechanized with all these gadgets and bells and whistles. They're all like... full of stuff.
Me : okkkaaay...
It : So there's this small population of surviving, you know, real flesh-and-blood humans and they form this resistance militia against the mechanical Nazis to try and save the world.
Me : What happened to the neural network here?
It : Hitler already beat it. You know, his was the superior intellect.
Art Director : Now those are some familiar words.
Coder #1 : I want to hear someone shout "Khan" right about now.
It : Ooooohhhh... that reminds me. I need to watch that again. I have to bring the tape in tomorrow.
Me : (light imitation, not really shouting) KHAA-AAAN!
I'm guessing that every time he spoke of "hive mines", he was probably thinking of "hive mind", but he always seemed to say "mine", so I kept it that way. Much along the lines of how he'd mention playing through Deus Ex, but when he said it, it always came out "Do Sex".
Last edited by a moderator:
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
I kind of foresaw the whole thing going to hell earlier, and seeing as how The Creature paid so poorly, towards the later few weeks prior to the place going under, I was getting the occasional contract bit of work (mainly some Jap->Eng translation work and one or two music gigs) for which I basically used the company internet connection after hours and made for some extra income.
When the company did go under, the creature was out of the country, and we all knew that it would be at least 60 days before anybody really cleaned the place out (we had their flight itineraries, and we knew that there were lawsuits brought up against the Creature since the faxes were coming into that office and so we figured that it was just trying to avoid those cases). I basically made several copies of the office key before turning in my keys, and handed them out to my fellow co-workers. We basically used the free time to exploit the resources which were still actively available and most of us used the space for job-hunting. Many of the artists put together demo reels and made backups of their assets and so on. I did much the same thing continuing with some of my other work, and hunted for another full-time job in the meantime.
Between working for The Creature and working at Terminal Reality, I had a brief stint doing a 3-month contract job at a failed dot-com which changed its name about 5 times in those 3 months. That ended rather poorly as well what with the CEO shooting himself. And about 2 months after that, I was at TRI. About 11 months at TRI, and then they had financial trouble right after Majesco filed bankruptcy, and since TRI was pretty much wholly dependent on Majesco... well... Anyway, 3 months after that (partly because I waited for my lease to run up), I ended up at Crystal Dynamics and I was there for just over 3 years until surprise, surprise, Crystal lays off 60 people. 30+ in January, and 25+ this past June. So now I'm at PDI, and conveniently enough, I have the exact same commute now that I had when I was at Crystal.
Ha! I hadn't noticed this thread was active again. 
SMM, I have to tell ya, despite the idiocy of It, many of the stories are believable. However, some basically are pushing through to the... call it the Uncanny Valley of Believability.
Now, there's only one way to prove this was all real, which is saying who It is and letting lots of independent and not so independent witnesses corroborate the facts.
With this in mind I propose that one day, many years from now perhaps, when It leaves us for Pastures.setColor(0,255,0), you reveal It's identity Deep Throat style.
What do ya say?
SMM, I have to tell ya, despite the idiocy of It, many of the stories are believable. However, some basically are pushing through to the... call it the Uncanny Valley of Believability.
Now, there's only one way to prove this was all real, which is saying who It is and letting lots of independent and not so independent witnesses corroborate the facts.
With this in mind I propose that one day, many years from now perhaps, when It leaves us for Pastures.setColor(0,255,0), you reveal It's identity Deep Throat style.
What do ya say?
itsmydamnation
Veteran
you must love what you do, must suck having so much volatility around employment.
ever though about doing something else? if so what?
ever though about doing something else? if so what?
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
I suppose I'd be fine with that. There's the small issue that the Creature isn't really any one who carries any other sort of fame or infamy to speak of, so I don't know how much it would be worth saying.With this in mind I propose that one day, many years from now perhaps, when It leaves us for Pastures.setColor(0,255,0), you reveal It's identity Deep Throat style.
What do ya say?
Well, at one point, I considered professorship, not so much because I was interested in teaching, but because I basically just wanted to sit in my office and do research forever. Still, I was too lazy to deal with the decades needed to get to that point. And as much as I rather enjoyed lecturing at universities and conferences and stuff and enjoyed reading papers and doing research, I'm just no good in a classroom.
Well, I guess I could say that I've changed industries now from games to movies. Since someone mentioned earlier that it wasn't clear, I should mention that when I refer to PDI, I mean PDI/Dreamworks Animation. Well, we'll see how things progress from here. That said, it's not like the field of study is different, so in the end I'm still doing what I enjoy.
Last edited by a moderator:
I always remember this story, both for the humour and also for the truth it betrays, and this write up is pretty good:
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/The-Cool-Cam.aspx
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/The-Cool-Cam.aspx