enough this thread got derailed , shootmymonkey please post more stories
I thought I was the one who derailed this thread in the first place by posting stories that everyone kept asking for instead of this being about all the developers out there.
Anyway, in my last post, I mentioned something about raping wet nurses because it's less contrived than healthpacks... so here's that story.
It : "So what do you guys plan to do about giving the player health?"
Art Director : "Well, I guess he'd have a bunch of stations he'd go to or something. It is fair to say that the idea of healthpacks which magically heal a guy instantly is a bit contrived."
It : "No, that's just not good. You need to have this sexy nurse on the battlefield and she follows everybody around and you just go to her when you need health."
Art Director : "hm... well, I guess... that sort of works. There are medics on the battlefield and all... not necessarily sexy ones, but we can wave our hands on that.
It'd be some extra work, but it's feasible."
It : "Well, what do you plan to make her wear? She does have to be sexy, you know what I'm saying?"
Art Director : "Probably just be light troop wear, light armor with lots of pockets for tools and first aid supplies. It is a warzone after all."
It : "Oh, NO! Come ON!! She has to be
SEXY! You need to put her in a
MINISKIRT and some really high stilleto boots and she needs a vibrator."
Art Director : "I don't see how that really works. I mean, it's *war*... that's not really suitable attire. Anyone in stilleto heels wouldn't be able to keep up in weathered terrain"
It : "Well, then how do you plan to have her deliver health?"
Art Director : "Oh, I figure she'll probably have some kind of injector thing that just does a quick shot to heal you up. Kinda like the whole Star Trek thing. I know you like that reference."
It : "Oh, GOD! NO!!! That's totally BORING! You need to have the character go up to her, and he grabs her and starts...
kissing on her
NECK... and he keeps getting health as he goes on. And when he finally reaches full health, she has to fight him off because he's worked his way down to her
TITS. Now THAT's healing."
Art Director : "Okay, I'm sorry, but that is really the stupidest idea I've ever heard in my life. And that's saying something. Yeah, we'll really get on the shelves of Walmart by making a porn game."
It : "Walmart carries porn, don't they?"
Art Director : "Like hell they do! Walmart is way more conservative than that."
It : "I remember my brother telling me about this vibrator and he said he got it from Walmart."
Art Director : "Okay, that was too much information."
It : "Well, you need to listen to what I'm saying. The point isn't about porn, I'm saying the healing has to be sexy... you know, so that... you know, it keeps the player interested... even though there isn't necessarily any specular or bump or ragdoll. Well I guess there could be ragdoll... That might be... hmm... oh... mmmmm..."
Art Director : "Umm... do you need to be alone or something? I can leave."