Developers, what are some of the craziest things you seen or heard about?
- Thread starter Brimstone
- Start date
DudeMiester said:
i have to add -- of course the problem may well NOT be with his intelligence -- as SMM has pointed out, it's a classic case of where ZERO self-criticism gets you. let this be a lesson to all you b3d genii! XD no matter how much confidence is useful, nor how much you may ACTUALLY have deserved said confidence, real wit becomes evident when you can realize your limitations as well, and work well within them... interesting to realize over time that his fascination with Hitler is actually acute anti-semitism.. XD
sad to say, that, i, too, would promise to buy this game if it could be finished and balanced XD i think games should not be above camp -- and this is as camp as anything i've ever heard of. of course, you'd, again, need to acknowledge[i/i] it as such... in some way, or it's really not very funny! ^_~
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
It did leave the country but is back in the country, but not in the gaming industry... still in construction, and I am seeing a handful more little indictments coming up between it and the City of Houston. If you remember, I mentioned that the creature had claimed to have gotten a Civil Engineering degree from SUNY. Various people had read this thread and had guesses as to who the creature was and I got a load of such emails. Since one correct guess came in, I can only assume that the creature bought its way through.
There have been a few times that the creature actually emailed most all of us on the team after we'd gone off to different jobs and made some attempts to recoup the team. I especially loved its claim that "this time around, I've bought all the rights to the Unreal engine..." Huh?
No one so far. The only quote I know of being used was the explanation of Hitler on a T-Rex. Be my guest.
Well... Some of it, you can't escape from being an extreme lack of intelligence. I don't know how you can explain not knowing the number of sides in an octagon or believing that "trigon" was a word, or that the pentagon was octagonal. It'd be one thing if its English was poor to the point of not knowing the word octagon, but that wasn't really the case (for that matter, going to school in the US, and using words like "trigon" wouldn't have gotten you very far). Yeah, it had some little quirks to its grasp of English -- e.g. a habit of putting the word "the" in front of proper nouns (possibly an Arabic thing derived from the "al" prefix?), but nothing so severe that you'd think it had some major problem.
Cases where it made up stories about washing plates at McDonald's or surviving a slave labor camp or knowing how to code or knowing how to model weren't so much its own stupidity but rather the assumption that everybody else was stupid enough to believe it and that if we did believe it, it would endear it to us.
A lot of it is just plain obliviousness. The conversation where we *seemingly* got it into the creature's head that Hitler was reviled throughout history, that was pretty much the case. It was really shocked at the idea that people thought Hitler was a bad person. And when it tried to bring up a counterpoint in characters like Stalin, it was all the more schocked that Stalin wasn't viewed in a positive light. Responded to this by saying that it's all the more important then that we make a game featuring Hitler as much as possible so that "the world can realize what a daring and heroic individual he really was," and that he would be "the ideal role model for children... y'know... they should learn that they can dare to dream."
Yeah... I'd probably say the same thing... but the problem is that with the creature that last part wouldn't happen.
Wait a minute, this guy wasn't American? He was from the Middle East? IIRC, Hitler isn't reviled in the Middle East like he is in the West. When you don't have an inherent problem with the idea of conquering other countries to establish your empire and Jews aren't exactly well-liked, what makes Hitler so bad? So that wouldn't be stupidity, that would pretty much be a massive cultural difference. And something tells me that being a millionaire in the Arab world does pretty much mean "Whatever I want, I get."
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
You might notice in the rest of that paragraph that I was pointing that out as an example of obliviousness, not stupidity... there are plenty of examples of stupidity, but you have to look at it given that it had been in the US for more than half of its life. It apparently never went to college anywhere outside the US... i.e. regardless of anything else, the fact that it was completely unaware that people in the US did view Hitler in a negative light after a good 25 years in the country is stupidly oblivious at best. Also, according to the creature's claims, it was never wealthy before coming to the US and supposedly had to work from the ground up, though most of its stories don't mesh at all, and all indications are that its family was wealthy prior. The difference is that I've seen various others within its family who do live somewhat ostentatiously, but don't have anywhere the kinds of ego issues.
As I said, there are points that can only be absolute stupidity, but for the most part, it was obliviousness with regards to everything surrounding it. This is present in a lot of its stories in that it never seems to be aware that a lot of the things people say to it are actually reflections on itself.
For instance -- it repeatedly told the story of its application to the engineering grad school at Rice. To which it got a rejection letter rather promptly, which finished with the sentence "Thank you for considering Rice University, and please do not apply again." And yes, it saved the letter, referring to it as an example of how the school "already knew that I was above them." It seems out of character to me for a university to use that sort of a rejection, but I'm lost as to why someone would deliberately fabricate such a letter at the same time.
The "slave labor camp" story was actually it covering for various prior stories, whenever someone happened to open up a little hole in the creature's stories. So the first time I heard it was when one of the then newer concept artists heard the "washing plates and silverware at McDonald's" story for the first time.
New Guy : Plates at McDonald's?
It : Yeah, you know...
New Guy : They have plates and silverware at McDonald's?
It : Oh... you know what, it was actually an IHOP. That's what it was.
New Guy : Oh... okay.
It : Yeah. Back in Lebanon, with the IHOP and stuff.
Art Director : IHOP had locations in Lebanon back then?
It : Back when? It wasn't that long ago. I'm not that old.
Me : Given how long ago you said you came to the US, that would have made it pretty well over 20 years ago.
It : Oh. Well, the thing is, you know, they can take the name of whatever they want if there's no actual IHOPs there.
Art Director : So you were washing at a copycat IHOP?
It : Well that's what they called it, but it was really a slave labor camp.
Art Director : That's kind of a leap.
It : Y'know... I was doing it for that little while, but then I realized that they were beating me and not paying me.
Me : ................ okay... I guess you can't be fooled by that sort of thing for too long, huh?
It : You bet I can't. I'm smarter than anyone else.
Me : .... yeah...
It : I totally sued their asses and they backed off.
Art Director : Yeah, those slave labor camps are always so mindful of legal repercussions.
Me : That is the way I would've played it.
It : And they didn't realize that I am an attorney.
Me : (under breath) yeah, neither did you.
New Guy : So... uhhh... I take it you used the money from the lawsuit to start up the construction company?
It : Well, I paid for school here first and then went through a couple of businesses off of that money before I got into construction.
Me : Hmmm... didn't bother to take the bar here?
It : Take a bar? Take whose bar?
Me : Never mind.
My favorite part of that conversation is definitely when our art director spoke of slave labor camps fearing litigation.
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Hey, I never denied he was stupid or obvlivious....
This latest story is by far my absolute favorite. "It looked like an IHOP, but was really a slave labor camp" even beats "Hitler II riding on a T-Rex."
This latest story is by far my absolute favorite. "It looked like an IHOP, but was really a slave labor camp" even beats "Hitler II riding on a T-Rex."
ShootMyMonkey said:
haha, well, having been overly "full of" my own intelligence more than once before, i tend to equate obliviousness and foolishness with... foolishness
and describe people as all mostly intelligent, but with different areas of expertise. But that's just the sweetiepie in me. When someone's just ans asshole, I have no problem just calling them a dumbass. Oh, and thanks ;D I love my sig!
I'm afraid that--in a desperate move to preserve what is left of my tattered sanity--I must disbelieve everything ShootMyMonkey says about this creature.
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
Then you can simply proceed to have a good hearty laugh at what you will henceforth presume to be fiction. That's fine with me.
First test runs on per-pixel lighting in-game :
It : "What's wrong with his face?"
Me : "Oh, that little sliver of light? That's because you're only really going to have accuracy on your vectors at the vertices. The vertex-level interpolation can't be perfect, and there aren't enough instruction slots to renormalize everything, so..."
It : "No, I mean he looks black, dude."
Me : "Oh... maybe because the level is dark?"
It : "Well, that's no good. It means we can't have any dark levels."
Me : "Because it's so very wrong to have a game character look black?"
It : "Yeah, exactly. There you go, see? You're learning."
Me : "Did you just call me 'dude'?"
It : "When?"
Me : "Ummmmm... yeah. I'll get back to work."
It : "You know, this blonde was telling this friend of hers that her boyfriend had this dandruff problem... so the friend tells her to give her boyfriend some Head and Shoulders, so she responds, 'How do I give him shoulders?'"
Me : "...................... okay..."
It : "That's a joke, you're supposed to laugh now. What, do I need to give it to you in Hindu for it to work?"
Me : "................................................"
It : "You see that was a joke, too."
Me : "................"
*creature goes away*
Physics Guy : You actually bothered to try and give him a genuine explanation of something technical?
Me : I was kind of hoping that if it had heard complicated words, it would be scared off.
Physics Guy : Seemed more like not talking did the trick.
Me : eeh, The confusion tactic always worked for [our erstwhile female programmer].
Physics Guy : That's because the very idea of a girl who comprehended mathematics shattered his image of the way the universe works.
Me : True... I guess a guy who didn't laugh at stupid jokes had that effect as well.
Physics Guy : In his mind, I think we've proven that there is no God.
First test runs on per-pixel lighting in-game :
It : "What's wrong with his face?"
Me : "Oh, that little sliver of light? That's because you're only really going to have accuracy on your vectors at the vertices. The vertex-level interpolation can't be perfect, and there aren't enough instruction slots to renormalize everything, so..."
It : "No, I mean he looks black, dude."
Me : "Oh... maybe because the level is dark?"
It : "Well, that's no good. It means we can't have any dark levels."
Me : "Because it's so very wrong to have a game character look black?"
It : "Yeah, exactly. There you go, see? You're learning."
Me : "Did you just call me 'dude'?"
It : "When?"
Me : "Ummmmm... yeah. I'll get back to work."
It : "You know, this blonde was telling this friend of hers that her boyfriend had this dandruff problem... so the friend tells her to give her boyfriend some Head and Shoulders, so she responds, 'How do I give him shoulders?'"
Me : "...................... okay..."
It : "That's a joke, you're supposed to laugh now. What, do I need to give it to you in Hindu for it to work?"
Me : "................................................"
It : "You see that was a joke, too."
Me : "................"
*creature goes away*
Physics Guy : You actually bothered to try and give him a genuine explanation of something technical?
Me : I was kind of hoping that if it had heard complicated words, it would be scared off.
Physics Guy : Seemed more like not talking did the trick.
Me : eeh, The confusion tactic always worked for [our erstwhile female programmer].
Physics Guy : That's because the very idea of a girl who comprehended mathematics shattered his image of the way the universe works.
Me : True... I guess a guy who didn't laugh at stupid jokes had that effect as well.
Physics Guy : In his mind, I think we've proven that there is no God.
SMM
I would gladly pay for a book full of these quotes, though I know few other people that would get the humor. (So I'd laugh while reading, then they ask, what is so funny, then, I would explain, then that person would look at me strangely)
Though, you've got better things to do, I'm sure.
I would gladly pay for a book full of these quotes, though I know few other people that would get the humor. (So I'd laugh while reading, then they ask, what is so funny, then, I would explain, then that person would look at me strangely)
Though, you've got better things to do, I'm sure.
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
Yes and no. Usually, I'm waiting for a build when I post. And it's not as though it takes me very long as I have all of these recorded in several hundred MB of text files. It's a copy+paste+formatting job. Well that, and the fact that my original records have people's names on them, so I change those to avoid any identities.
Putting it into a publication... that would take some time and effort to organize things and explain the back story behind everything.
Art Director : Sheesh, this guy's carrying a huge load of equipment.
Character Artist : Don't look at me, the beast was frickin' crazy about guys carrying 40 weapons or some sh*t...
Art Director : A guy'd have to be monstrous to carry that much stuff around on the battlefield.
Character Artist : They'll all pretty much have to be if we want to keep that moron off our backs.
Art Director : That's f**king insane! Everybody is Aahnold...
Character Artist : *laughing* Yeah, that'll be perfect... They all swagger around and they say all these "gii~rly mahn" remarks.
Art Director : *laughs* And everybody will have these thick Austrian accents.
It : *passing by* No! Wait! Make it German! They should all be Nazis!
Character Artist : Oh, for crying out loud...
Art Director : Geez, what the hell is with you?! Get off your goddamn Nazi kick already! No NAZIS!!!
Character Artist : Of all the things for you to think about on your way to the bathroom! The only thought in your head is f**king Nazis?!?
It : All right!! Okay!! I'm sorry! I'm a really big fan of Hitler! Can you blame me? The man was a genius!
*whole room goes quiet...*
It : What's wrong with everybody?...... whatever. *leaves*
Female coder : I've never heard anyone say that who wasn't wearing a white sheet.
Art Director : I think we all expected that, but him blurting it out loud was something else.
Putting it into a publication... that would take some time and effort to organize things and explain the back story behind everything.
Art Director : Sheesh, this guy's carrying a huge load of equipment.
Character Artist : Don't look at me, the beast was frickin' crazy about guys carrying 40 weapons or some sh*t...
Art Director : A guy'd have to be monstrous to carry that much stuff around on the battlefield.
Character Artist : They'll all pretty much have to be if we want to keep that moron off our backs.
Art Director : That's f**king insane! Everybody is Aahnold...
Character Artist : *laughing* Yeah, that'll be perfect... They all swagger around and they say all these "gii~rly mahn" remarks.
Art Director : *laughs* And everybody will have these thick Austrian accents.
It : *passing by* No! Wait! Make it German! They should all be Nazis!
Character Artist : Oh, for crying out loud...
Art Director : Geez, what the hell is with you?! Get off your goddamn Nazi kick already! No NAZIS!!!
Character Artist : Of all the things for you to think about on your way to the bathroom! The only thought in your head is f**king Nazis?!?
It : All right!! Okay!! I'm sorry! I'm a really big fan of Hitler! Can you blame me? The man was a genius!
*whole room goes quiet...*
It : What's wrong with everybody?...... whatever. *leaves*
Female coder : I've never heard anyone say that who wasn't wearing a white sheet.
Art Director : I think we all expected that, but him blurting it out loud was something else.
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Jon Brittan
Newcomer
I think I might work with the Creature now, you know...
(Definitely not, but still...)
----------
Discussion about keeping the building cool:
Engine Programmer 1: Even cheaper (though probably no quite so effective) would be to paint the roof and exterior walls white and fit exterior window shutters.
Engine Programmer 2: Psh, white? Cover the entire outer surface in mirrors. We could use one-way mirrors for the windows and everything. Stealth office!
Game Programmer 1: I don't know. I think that people would notice the giant blindingly reflective glowing thing in the middle of the science park.
Game Programmer 2: Though <Project Lead> would probably still say it's not shiney enough.
(Definitely not, but still...)
----------
Discussion about keeping the building cool:
Engine Programmer 1: Even cheaper (though probably no quite so effective) would be to paint the roof and exterior walls white and fit exterior window shutters.
Engine Programmer 2: Psh, white? Cover the entire outer surface in mirrors.
We could use one-way mirrors for the windows and everything. Stealth office!Game Programmer 1: I don't know. I think that people would notice the giant blindingly reflective glowing thing in the middle of the science park.
Game Programmer 2: Though <Project Lead> would probably still say it's not shiney enough.
Yeah! In fact, the man was such a genious that not only did he lose an entire world war, he also swallowed poison and shot himelf in the head.ShootMyMonkey said:
"It" obviously never considered these awkward little historical truths. ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
It also never seemed to get the idea that if the Nazis were given the opportunity, I doubt Lebanon and its Muslim/Catholic populations would have been spared simply on the basis of not being Jewish. When it was explained to the creature why Hitler wasn't popular in the US, it tried to bring up counterexamples of other infamous people under the misguided belief that said people are not reviled at all (e.g. Stalin, Saddam, etc).
ShootMyMonkey
Veteran
Here we are... the Hitler explanation story. This one actually occurred with rather ironic timing, so when I recorded it, I noted the date and time.
Sept. 11, 2003 @ 10:22 am...
It : You know the other day, I mentioned how much I adored Hitler and then the next day, I had on that SS uniform and everything and everybody acted all weird.
AI Guy : Can't say I'm surprised. You'd pretty much get that response from anyone in the country.
It : Really? There's THAT much hatred for the Nazis? I had no idea...
Me : You are talking about someone who's essentially the poster boy for genocide and racism and so on. He's written in history books as practically the embodiment of evil.
It : I see... See, I'm from the Middle East, so I'm more objective about it than the people in this country. I really don't see why anyone would hate Hitler so much.
Me : Objective is one thing, you feel how you feel... but it's another thing not to notice how practically everybody in the entire country feels after having been here for 20+ years.
AI Guy : I mean the fact that you are from the Middle East in that context only suggests that you have no problem with the idea of murdering Israelites.
It : Let me ask you something, and be objective about it and not subjective... You know, subjective as in, taking it out of the whole...
AI Guy : I know what you mean.
It : Okay, so then let me just ask you, and again, be objective and not subjective about it, but if you saw a poster with Hitler on it, and he was surrounded by futuristic-looking SS soldiers, and the title is ************, wouldn't you have no choice but to be intrigued?
AI Guy : I would not be intrigued. I would be utterly disgusted.
It : Really?!? Disgusted?!???
Me : For that matter, no store in the country would even display such a poster.
AI Guy : Yeah, that's another thing. That situation wouldn't even happen.
It : Really?! The hatred for Nazis goes that far?
AI Guy : Yeah, if they had that poster, they'd probably be rioted... Molotovs through the windows and all...
It : Oh. Hmmm... But from a business point of view, don't you want that kind of publicity? You know, raise some controversy?
Me : The kinds of controversy that are actually desirable doesn't really include the scope of racial issues. Even Battlefield and such, with the German forces, they're careful not to actually use a Nazi flag."
AI Guy : Yeah, you do NOT want that kind of publicity. It will tarnish your reputation. I mean, you can take a route like that, but it certainly won't get you on the shelves at Walmart.
It : Why? Are the owners of Walmart Jewish?
AI Guy : *laughs* Nnnooo... They're just really conservative because they're a wide-market retailer so they need to be careful and PC and all.
Me : Which is what makes them high-volume, so you'll never hit millions of copies if you don't get to Walmart.
It : But should we really care about losing one little segment of the market? So what if no Jews buy the game?
AI Guy : Jewish people aren't alone in being offended by Nazis as you've seen, so the risk of offending someone means it won't get out on store shelves for anyone to buy.
It : Ooooooohhh... But do Jewish people go to Walmart? I mean, it's not owned by Jews.
Me : *sigh~~~~~*
It : You see, this is how objective I am. I don't see Hitler as a madman... I see him as you know... daring, you know... trying to take over the whole world and such. You have to be a really brave soul to do something like that.
Me : Or suffering delusions of grandeur... like someone else I know.
It : Who do you mean?
AI Guy : *laughs*... Well, I mean, he's hated because he killed so many millions... and did so needlessly. Deaths as a result of political scapegoating and so on.
It : Well, don't forget, the Russians killed millions as well, and of their own kind, not people who could be viewed as less important like another race.
Me : .........wow...
AI Guy : Stalin's not very popular either.
It : What? Really?! No, that can't be right. Hmmmm...
Me : I'm not sure how you ever arrived at these sort of conclusions.
It : What about that Iraq guy? Everybody talks about him all the time. And he kills people rather senselessly.
Me : If you mean Saddam, nobody talks about him in a positive light, either.
It : Come on! You have to be joking.
Me : Do you ever really listen to anything people say about him?
It : Well, you know, it's like articles and newscasts... all that ever really matters is one or two words. Everything else is fluff.
AI Guy : I guess we've unlocked the secrets of your obliviousness.
It : I don't follow.
Me : Go Google it.
It : For porn?
Me : ... yes... for porn...
I should note that at that point, about the only thing the Creature ever really used its Internet access for was to go hunting for porn, so the fact that my mention of Google immediately incited the question of searching for porn wasn't really that surprising.
Sept. 11, 2003 @ 10:22 am...
It : You know the other day, I mentioned how much I adored Hitler and then the next day, I had on that SS uniform and everything and everybody acted all weird.
AI Guy : Can't say I'm surprised. You'd pretty much get that response from anyone in the country.
It : Really? There's THAT much hatred for the Nazis? I had no idea...
Me : You are talking about someone who's essentially the poster boy for genocide and racism and so on. He's written in history books as practically the embodiment of evil.
It : I see... See, I'm from the Middle East, so I'm more objective about it than the people in this country. I really don't see why anyone would hate Hitler so much.
Me : Objective is one thing, you feel how you feel... but it's another thing not to notice how practically everybody in the entire country feels after having been here for 20+ years.
AI Guy : I mean the fact that you are from the Middle East in that context only suggests that you have no problem with the idea of murdering Israelites.
It : Let me ask you something, and be objective about it and not subjective... You know, subjective as in, taking it out of the whole...
AI Guy : I know what you mean.
It : Okay, so then let me just ask you, and again, be objective and not subjective about it, but if you saw a poster with Hitler on it, and he was surrounded by futuristic-looking SS soldiers, and the title is ************, wouldn't you have no choice but to be intrigued?
AI Guy : I would not be intrigued. I would be utterly disgusted.
It : Really?!? Disgusted?!???
Me : For that matter, no store in the country would even display such a poster.
AI Guy : Yeah, that's another thing. That situation wouldn't even happen.
It : Really?! The hatred for Nazis goes that far?
AI Guy : Yeah, if they had that poster, they'd probably be rioted... Molotovs through the windows and all...
It : Oh. Hmmm... But from a business point of view, don't you want that kind of publicity? You know, raise some controversy?
Me : The kinds of controversy that are actually desirable doesn't really include the scope of racial issues. Even Battlefield and such, with the German forces, they're careful not to actually use a Nazi flag."
AI Guy : Yeah, you do NOT want that kind of publicity. It will tarnish your reputation. I mean, you can take a route like that, but it certainly won't get you on the shelves at Walmart.
It : Why? Are the owners of Walmart Jewish?
AI Guy : *laughs* Nnnooo... They're just really conservative because they're a wide-market retailer so they need to be careful and PC and all.
Me : Which is what makes them high-volume, so you'll never hit millions of copies if you don't get to Walmart.
It : But should we really care about losing one little segment of the market? So what if no Jews buy the game?
AI Guy : Jewish people aren't alone in being offended by Nazis as you've seen, so the risk of offending someone means it won't get out on store shelves for anyone to buy.
It : Ooooooohhh... But do Jewish people go to Walmart? I mean, it's not owned by Jews.
Me : *sigh~~~~~*
It : You see, this is how objective I am. I don't see Hitler as a madman... I see him as you know... daring, you know... trying to take over the whole world and such. You have to be a really brave soul to do something like that.
Me : Or suffering delusions of grandeur... like someone else I know.
It : Who do you mean?
AI Guy : *laughs*... Well, I mean, he's hated because he killed so many millions... and did so needlessly. Deaths as a result of political scapegoating and so on.
It : Well, don't forget, the Russians killed millions as well, and of their own kind, not people who could be viewed as less important like another race.
Me : .........wow...
AI Guy : Stalin's not very popular either.
It : What? Really?! No, that can't be right. Hmmmm...
Me : I'm not sure how you ever arrived at these sort of conclusions.
It : What about that Iraq guy? Everybody talks about him all the time. And he kills people rather senselessly.
Me : If you mean Saddam, nobody talks about him in a positive light, either.
It : Come on! You have to be joking.
Me : Do you ever really listen to anything people say about him?
It : Well, you know, it's like articles and newscasts... all that ever really matters is one or two words. Everything else is fluff.
AI Guy : I guess we've unlocked the secrets of your obliviousness.
It : I don't follow.
Me : Go Google it.
It : For porn?
Me : ... yes... for porn...
I should note that at that point, about the only thing the Creature ever really used its Internet access for was to go hunting for porn, so the fact that my mention of Google immediately incited the question of searching for porn wasn't really that surprising.
Jon Brittan
Newcomer
Digressing only slightly, have you seen this game http://www.rushforberlin.com/ ?
The magazine adverts over here show a black and white picture of Hitler with glowing red eyes, below him are three inset shots all dated after the end of WW2 with pictures of a German missile (can't remember where, dated 1945) a picture of a German jet fighter over Britain 1946 and a German tank in Poland in 1955...
Sounds a bit like something your "creature" would love...
The magazine adverts over here show a black and white picture of Hitler with glowing red eyes, below him are three inset shots all dated after the end of WW2 with pictures of a German missile (can't remember where, dated 1945) a picture of a German jet fighter over Britain 1946 and a German tank in Poland in 1955...
Sounds a bit like something your "creature" would love...
I don't see why people make such a big deal out of not showing swastikas in WWII games. You've got SS units and Nazis. If someone's not already offended by the presence of Nazi storm troopers, I doubt a swastika will push him over the edge. People these days...