From my perspective (obviously), there's 3 different forms of parity:
1. Technical parity - Absolute parity
2. Observational parity - It takes DF to find any difference
3. Personal parity - It has to be pointed out to you, or its close enough that you just don't care. This is very subjective though.
Regarding Destiney, people wasn't sure and some thought PS4 was better. So if there was any differences that would fall under parity type 2. As it turns out it's type 1 (frame pacing aside).
If it was type 2 though, I doubt there would have been as much discussions, even though people basically couldn't actually tell.
People are using launch and early games as an indicator of power difference between consoles and what to expect. Always a bad idea considering, sdk, tools, etc.
I stopped following a lot of this stuff during the middle of the last generation. So I don't know when views changed, but mine has stayed the same.
1st party push the hardware to the limit.
Exclusives push the hardware.
Multi-platforms try to make the best game possible on all platforms given the following limits - resources, money, time etc, which also may mean having to spend more time on one platform for many different reasons (power, tools/sdk, hardware complexity) within the limits specified.
This generation I expect that multi-platform games to be a combination of type 2, and type 1, then and at worse 3, with only a few being a lot worse on one platform compared to the other, I believe we may already be over that period. I think resolution differences could fall between type 2 and 3 dependant on art style etc.
If you buy the more powerful hardware, your buying it so that there is less chance that multi-platforms perform worse and hopefully at worse it performs as type 2.
In Destiny's case, Bungie had done the best they could (given what I said about multi-platform games) and the result was 900p on XB1, but MS helped them get it to 1080p, without MS it wouldn't have happened. Maybe MS needs a fancy name for the team like Sony's ICE team.
Wouldn't surprise me if they start going for type 2, just to satisfy all sides
Maybe Bunge put the frame pacing bug in on purpose so some can still say one is a winner,