We're in agreement until this part. See Xbox One X and PS4 Pro, where resolution/framerate clearly isn't at the same level of discussion anymore.
That's simply because the more vocal group is at the disadvantage. At the start of the gen when MS was pushing out exclusive content it was all about 1080p vs 900p but when MS had the power advantage it changed to a conversation about exclusives. I think the bias comes from big sites like neogaf (now resetera) that mold the conversation to their prefrences .
Now talking about new consoles launching. If they both launch within a few months of each other we will again see the performance become a big deal. The ps4 pro and xbox one x were a year apart . If for example in 2020 a ps5 and xbox two launch and the difference in performance is the same as the difference between the pro and x are. Then of course we will hear people talk about it. It will be quite obvious and of course depending on what titles each company has as time goes on the conversation could change again.
I think in 2020 the amount of people who will have 4k tvs will be very large , about the same as the amount that had 1080p tvs back in 2013. So it will become a bigger deal as tvs continue to drop in price