Re: How old should one be to consent?
I think you had me going till the 5 year old thing.
According to Freud, humans enter a period of ther life where they begin to develope their sexual identity around 10 years old, I think that positive sexual experiences during this time will lead to a very emotionally healthy life. Of course, some people (especially in very uptight cultures, like most of the US) will goe through it later, and sme sooner. I know that it took me nearly 9 more years to develope my sexual identity, but partly thats because I was all doped up on unessesary antidepressents and was incapable of feeling just about anything for about 4 of those, the rest of it I attribute to being in a super-conservative (as far as sexuality goes) home. If I had been allowed to explore my sexuality when I was much younger, I probably would have lived a much more emotionally healthy life the past few years.
Of course, this does not mean that adults should encourage children to explore their sexuality when they are that age, but rather they should leave the door open for the child to explore on his/her own when he/she is ready. I do think that it's very very rare that a child would be ready to enter this phase at the age of 5, but I'm sure that it does happen. And, like I said earlier, an experience during that phase in which the child feels deep love can be very positive and will have the effect of the person seeking out healthy relationships as an adult.
Not too very long ago I befriended (over the internet) a young girl of only 14 years. She wanted me to come to OKC to have sex with her in the back of my car. This was quite a shocker to me because we weren't even that close, emotionally. As we got closer I learned that she had done that sort of thing a lot, and used to actually do it for money. Yup, a 12-year-old (at the time, she was 12) Catholic girl going to a Catholic school, living in a stable, middle-class family home with a loving family, was selling herself. I still don't know how she got into doing that, but it was obviously a VERY negative experience and because of that she would seek out unloving physical relationships with much older men. We became very close friends and I found out that she was planning on running away with three of her friends and they were going to whore themselves for a place to stay. Three 14-year-old runaway girls all alone selling sex. It was very obvious to me that they would, without a doubt, end up either dead or wishing they were. Luckily, right before they were set to leave, I talked some sense into her and the other two wouldn't leave without her. I was able to show her that love could be a positive thing (without being sexually involved with her) and now she is dating a boy her own age. They are having sex, but it is an extension of their relatonship rather than the focus of it. I think she will grow up to lead a very healthy life.
There is another girl about the same age whom I also befriended not too very long ago. She is involved with a boy her own age who is very violent. She dumped him once because he beat her up, then she got back with him. She told me that, even though he hit her, he still loved her. She told me that she was thinking about having sex with him, but after getting to know her better and tlaking with her I figured out, even though she didn't outright say it, that he had raped her. Again, they are both only 15. He beat her up almost every week, of not more, but she insisted that he really was a nice person. Now she is with another guy who is 17 and treats her the exact same way. If she had been taught earlyer that sex should be a positive and loving experience I very strongly doubt that she would be putting up with this crap. Now she goe's by "jomeses_hor_69" (name slightly changed to protect privacy) and I asked her why she called herself that. She asked me why not, and I said "isn't calling yourself a whore very degrading" and she replied "to me it's not." I still try to help her, but she just gets mad and tells me that I'm a sick bastard, then leaves.
