best friend's wife (uh-oh)

[Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.]

Oh, bullcrap. I was waiting for the moralising to start Sorry, if a married woman shags a single guy, why the hell is the single guy solely responsible for what happens in their marriage?

That's such a cop-out. It matters if you claim to be best friends of both parties, and thus looking out for their interests. Or doesn't the aftermath matter as long as you are getting your end away?

NEWS FLASH: She took the marriage vows, not Sage!

Women aren't property you know. They're not dizzy air-headed little flowers who need men to do all their thinking for them and make sure they don't make silly mistakes.

Oh right - Sage is the dizzy air-headed little flower who need women to do all their thinking for them and make sure he doesn't make silly mistakes like screwing your best friend's wife and losing important friends. He didn;t have any choice in the matter at all

You should read the thread - remember how at the beginning how Sage was telling us he was no way, no how going to sleep with his "best friend's" wife? Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?

If Sage hadn't been the one to finally break the marriage apart, he could have at least kept his friendships with both of them - but I guess that wasn't important enough. He knew what was going to happen, even if he didn't admit it to himself, and now he regrets what he did. Isn't Sage's guilt evidence enough that he broke his own morals?

Fact is he did what he did, now he's got to live with the consequences for his own life as well as those of his ex-friends.

 

[Phil]

Well Sage, time to light the cigar.

In all serious now, what's done is done and there's nothing you can do to change what happened. Move on. You're definately not responsible for the downfall of their marriage and there's no reason to take the blame on yourself either.

You certainly didn't to right thing towards your friend - but maybe the fact that his wife didn't do the right thing by him should tell him that it's best to move on as well.

I suggest you let it go, forget about it and enjoy the memory of doing her. At some point, she might come back to you after she and her husband sort things out and moves on. Maybe she won't. But hey, no point in wasting time thinking about it and feeling guilty. Take this experience to boost your ego and learn something out of this for next time.

Oh, and sleeping with her without protection wasn't a good idea. I hope it doesn't get more complicated for you - but in order to be able to move on, make sure you didn't get anything off her and hope the best she doesn't fall pregnant.

Actually, if I were you: I'd make pretty damn sure she isn't pregnant and that's basically just to do the right by yourself.

 

[Sabastian]

Well, gratz on your lucky night..

Now.. go find some new "frends". Ether their relationship is toast or he can get over her wanting to get laid by someone else. IMO its no big deal. But people get all messed up with this shit. Possesiveness and insecurity are at the core of it all. She prolly still loves her husband .. just wanted something different. lol.. Hope it was worth the trouble. Commend you on having the nads to screw your best frends wife.. Now hide and hope he doesn't conspire to murder you and her. lol.... too much. She told him about what happend, go figure. Prolly trying to spruce up some very boring marriage/life. Poor thing ..

The no protection thing always kinda sucks after teh fact. At the time though its definitly the way to go. I hate dam condoms. She should be on the pill though.. shakes head. If you get a child out of this abort it asap. It'll ruin your life/her life and possibly the childs.

Rolf.. thats the best man. Perfect. Move on, live and have fun.

Forget about getting into a relationship with her .. it would prolly just be a mess anyhow.

 

[nutball]

Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?

It is not beholden on him to have more respect for their vows than they themselves have. I must admit I'm not an expert on the precise wording of wedding vows, but I'm pretty sure they imply that shagging your husbands best mate is a no-no.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

If you get a child out of this abort it asap. It'll ruin your life/her life and possibly the childs.

Yes, facing responsibility for your actions is just wrong.

If a child comes out of this...be a man and accept the responsibility. Most likely it will turn your life around.

 

[rashly]

The morning after pill is good for about 2 days. You should seriosly look into it. There are even sites online that will call in the prescription for free.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

This is just....sad.

 

[John Reynolds]

An unwanted, unloved child is a sad situation too.

 

[Nite_Hawk]

Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?

Actually, he really doesn't. Marriage vows are between a husband and wife. If my wife and I were to decide to get divorced it is no one elses business but our own to uphold those vows. Neither would I expect my friends to try to "save" our marriage nor would I hold any of them responsible for not saving it.

Sage failed as a friend, but he didn't make their marriage fail. Regardless of whether or not he actually had sex with her, she was willing either way. She had already committed adultry in her heart. The physical act was just the result of that.

Nite_Hawk

 

[Sonic]

No offense, but that was a move of desperation. Now this is not my moral view or anything, just whatever. You boinked you buddy's wife and now you regret it. The sad thing is that you ruined a friendship for one night of passion. A night of hot passionate sex.... But still, you did ruin friendships over that.

Couldn't you find some random girl to sleep with instead? Or is this woman the only one that has actually been attracted to you in a long time? That's what I don't get.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

An unwanted, unloved child is a sad situation too.

Yes, it is. Sadder is a person unable (unwilling?) to love his own child.

In any case, I still can't escape the feeling that Sage is just trolling around with the "escapade of the month", but I'm rolling with it...

 

[digitalwanderer]

yes, i poked her.

Idiot, homewrecker, scum!

marriage was already broken, to be honest

Oh, you know that? From what you've described the marriage was on the rocks and they were working on fixing it, you just helped to make that totally impossible.

Again; idiot, homewrecker, scum!

This is just....sad.

Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.

Possibly three....

 

[Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.]

Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?

Actually, he really doesn't. Marriage vows are between a husband and wife. If my wife and I were to decide to get divorced it is no one elses business but our own to uphold those vows. Neither would I expect my friends to try to "save" our marriage nor would I hold any of them responsible for not saving it.

With regards to their marriage vows, that's correct. However, with regards to his friendships with the both of them, Sage had a responsibility to that friendship and a duty of respect to their marriage vows as his friends. You don't call a married couple your best friends and then participate in one partner's infidelity and breakup of that marriage. This is what he himself feels. Sage was obviously trying to do the best all around, obviously trying to make sure no one got hurt, and then that's exactly what he went and did.

Regardless of whether their marriage was on the way out or not, he himself became the instrument of final breakup. He was that final nail in the coffin, and because of that he's probably lost them both as friends, and probably lost any chance or seriously getting together with this woman that he obviously has feelings for.

Still, he's probably learned a great deal from this, and I'd suggest the most important thing is to realise that in these situations, it's human nature to fool yourself about what is really going on, and to not look at the long term consequences of your actions until it's too late. Sage is young, and that's when you do things like this that you wish you could do differently.

 

[John Reynolds]

Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.

He fucked something, that's for sure.

In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.

I've always felt guilty about screwing a good friend's wife back in '89, even though he'd left her months earlier for another woman. I regret it because it changed the nature of the friendship between the wife and myself, and when my friend found out about it the very next morning (he calls, she answers, I'm still lying in the bed, their 4-year-old daughter, awakened by the phone, walks into the room, sees me, and in her crystal glass-shattering little voice, loudly says, "Good morning, Uncle John!!"). He knows he just woke her up and hears that I'm there with her. Yep, ended that friendship, though he at least had the class to not indignantly confront me about it, all things considered.

Oh, and she was the aggressor: "I've fantasized about being with you for the past year." Bed sheets were moved aside (she'd called me over sounding upset late at night) and there she was naked. I rolled my saving throw, factored in the adjustment for my wisdom score (-4 to all saves), and failed. Great sex, though. . .he'd always bragged she gave great oral and he wasn't lying.

 

[Nite_Hawk]

Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.

He fucked something, that's for sure.

In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.

I've always felt guilty about screwing a good friend's wife back in '89, even though he'd left her months earlier for another woman. I regret it because it changed the nature of the friendship between the wife and myself, and when my friend found out about it the very next morning (he calls, she answers, I'm still lying in the bed, their 4-year-old daughter, awakened by the phone, walks into the room, sees me, and in her crystal glass-shattering little voice, loudly says, "Good morning, Uncle John!!"). He knows he just woke her up and hears that I'm there with her. Yep, ended that friendship, though he at least had the class to not indignantly confront me about it, all things considered.

Oh, and she was the aggressor: "I've fantasized about being with you for the past year." Bed sheets were moved aside (she'd called me over sounding upset late at night) and there she was naked. I rolled my saving throw, factored in the adjustment for my wisdom score (-4 to all saves), and failed. Great sex, though. . .he'd always bragged she gave great oral and he wasn't lying.

Are you sure your not remembering the plotline from some er.. gentleman's video?







Nite_Hawk

 

[Farid]

Oh, you know that? From what you've described the marriage was on the rocks and they were working on fixing it, you just helped to make that totally impossible.

Again; idiot, homewrecker, scum!

I hope you know that there's 99 chances out 100 that Sage is just trolling around... You know that, tell me.

 

[digitalwanderer]

In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.

And he did it anyways, which is just unconsciousable and totally inexcusable to me.

I hope you know that there's 99 chances out 100 that Sage is just trolling around... You know that, tell me.

Yup, but my gut tells me he's not and even if he is my answer stands.

I have rather strong feelings on infidelity and its consequences, my Mom specialized in family law for about a decade....her first case being her own divorce from my father who cheated on her.

It fucks up a lot of people for a loooong time, it's not a "forgive and forget" kind of thing for me.

 

[John Reynolds]

It fucks up a lot of people for a loooong time, it's not a "forgive and forget" kind of thing for me.

I think I could forgive my wife once if I truly believed that in her mind it was a mistake she deeply regretted rather than a situation of, "Damn, I got caught."

Of course if he was younger, with a head full of hair, well endowed, and better in bed than me (inconceivable!!), that might make it a little harder to recover from. 8)

 

[digitalwanderer]

I think I could forgive my wife once if I truly believed that in her mind it was a mistake she deeply regretted rather than a situation of, "Damn, I got caught."

A few years before I met my wife I got involved with a lady I had been really good friends with for a number of years. The relationship was great, but one drunken night she started making out with a mutual friend of ours and I walked in on them. I picked up a baseball bat and took a step forward; then stopped and dropped the bat and turned around and just left.

After a few weeks of her begging me I gave her another chance. It could have been just a "we were drunk and pulled a stupid", and I really did care for the lady.

Two weeks later it happened again. I didn't even think about violence this time, I just walked out and never looked back.

Fooled once shame on you, fooled twice shame on me.

You don't go fucking around with other peoples relationships, period. Why do you think cops hate domestic dispute calls more than any other type? You just never know how psycho a person can be until someone pushes just the right button.

Sage, consider your life in danger right now and watch your back. (No, not from me...I'm just disgusted with you as a human being....I'm talking about her hubby)