wtf? i am, yet again, a loser

[Sage]

if you want success TAKE IT, because nobody is going to give it.

yeah, that's exactly what i tried. it didnt work. the whole other-people-thing just doesnt work for me.


it doesnt matter WHY i failed. the point is that, even though i've been trying new things, i still fail. fail. that's just how it is with me, there is no solution. there is no success.

 

[Phil]

but you didn't fail! You're a winner simply for trying! You would have failed if you had missed / not taken the opportunity to ask her out and would be left wondering "what if I had asked her out...".

At least now you know. Deal with it! And her seeing someone doesn't really mean you "failed"... it's just bad luck, something you always have to be prepared to face when asking a girl out (girls not seeing anyone is a rare thing). Hey, even if you're Adonis it wouldn't change the fact that she's seeing someone. It also doesn't mean it's game over for you... just that's it going to be a little more challenging.


Also ask yourself the following:

Is it worth, wasting your time - time that could be spent meeting someone else that could be interested in you or even more attractive to you - for a girl that's simply not interested because she's seeing someone else [at the moment]? Think about it... It's never a good thing to run after a girl, especially when she's not interested - and there's plenty of others to meet at the same time. They're just waiting to be seen.. Go hunt them down!

 

[Phil]

dp due to odd debugging errors... <shrugs>

 

[Sage]

if I didn't fail the why am I alone right now? This really doesn't have anything to do specifically with her or why I failed with her. This is about the bigger picture- I failed to find someone. It could have been because I screwed it up with the person I went after (obviously not this time as she's already taken) or because I went after the wrong person to begin with (could be the case) or because I just waited too long (I know she was single about a month ago). The exact reasons dont matter because I had an objective, that of not being alone, and I failed to achieve it. And not only did I fail to achieve it this time but I have been failing time after time for one reason or another.

 

[The549]

if I didn't fail the why am I alone right now? This really doesn't have anything to do specifically with her or why I failed with her. This is about the bigger picture- I failed to find someone...

What you're doing right now is making sure you fail. You have to try and want not to fail before you don't fail, unless you get extremely lucky. I've never met a girl who's looking for a downer or a whiner. So quit it, and keep trying to look for new people.

 

[London Geezer]

See that's why i could never in a billion years be a doctor or a people's helper of any kind. I get so tired of people who keep crying on themselves... I mean i tried many times, but i just can't handle it for too long.

 

[Sage]

im not crying, im annoyed. that's why I'm venting. i'm not depressed, I'm pissed.

 

[London Geezer]

im not crying, im annoyed. that's why I'm venting. i'm not depressed, I'm pissed.

You *are* depressed. Chronically.

 

[jvd]

damnit, I don't know wtf I'm doing, I don't know how any of this stuff is supposed to work."

Don't worry . I have the same problems .

I tell my sisters to hook me up with the sluttiest (is this a word ) girls they know .


That way the girl does all the work .

I liked to be courted ... i don't like doing the courting

 

[Sage]

Don't worry . I have the same problems .

I tell my sisters to hook me up with the sluttiest (is this a word ) girls they know .


That way the girl does all the work .

I liked to be courted ... i don't like doing the courting

yeah ive tried that.... even the sluttiest, craziest, loneliest, loserist (that a word? is now!) girls won't touch me.

 

[jvd]

I dunno dude , you may feel like that but it just comes down to finding the right girl.

I have the lowest esteem a person can have . But every once in awhile i find a girl that truely digs me . Just gotta find those good friends and hobbies for the inbetween time

 

[Sage]

I have the lowest esteem a person can have . But every once in awhile i find a girl that truely digs me .

lucky you. i dont.

 

[Phil]

I think the problem is you're trying too hard to find someone...

You don't find love.... it finds you.

I have been in similar situations a few times.... strangely enough, I always seem to meet new people (girls) when I'm actually not on the lookout or even seeing someone already. When I'm single and would be keen on meeting a girl I like, it just wouldn't happen. While I doubt this is dependant on faith, I think it's more got to do with how you act as a person when going out. When you're not interested in meeting new girls... you simply have a better/more attractive attitude. Things you do and say tend to be more cool... because you don't really give a damn about what anyone might think. Because you don't tend to flirt, it also makes YOU more of challenge for the girl interested in you. If you're not seeing someone though and do happen to be quite desperate (I've been in this state too), you tend to try too hard... you try to flirt, you try to seek eye contact... for one, makes it too easy FOR THEM and also makes you more of a turn-off, too desperate. No one likes someone who comes across as too desperate.

Just cool down.. forget about searching for any chicks. Let them come to you, but what ever you do, don't find yourself waiting. Have a good time, enjoy life. It just ain't worth it being down because of something like that... if you let it get to you, you're only get pissed, desperate, depressed... and that only limits your chances even more.

 

[Sage]

actually, i dont do that whole flirting / eye contact thing at all. when I'm interested in someone I usually do my best to avoid them.

 

[jvd]

I have the lowest esteem a person can have . But every once in awhile i find a girl that truely digs me .

lucky you. i dont.

Heh. I'm averaging about 5 years inbetween times i meet girls that truely dig me


when i was 14 and met melissa , who i dated for a good 4 years on an off and almost married

When i was 22 i dated a girl for about 8 months ... I don't really expect ot meet another girl for at least another 2 years .


And these aren't girls i go and say damn she is hot let me go get with her.

Its more of a thing where they hang out with me for awhile and then some random shit happens and we hook up.


If you just want to get ass then there is only one thing to do , go into every situation like u don't care what the outcome is . Act that way . Chat up a girl and talk however u want , don't hold back cause u think she might think that is geeky or something .


If you want a serious relationship well that is hard and that takes a long time to find

 

[Sage]

I would be elated to be able to hold on to a girlfriend for a whole month. 5 years is inconcievable to me.

 

[ZoinKs!]

actually, i dont do that whole flirting / eye contact thing at all. when I'm interested in someone I usually do my best to avoid them.

This explains a lot re. why you have trouble getting a woman. There's not any mystery left to solve now.

---

I, also, have trouble getting a woman. My big problem right now is that the girl I'm most interested in is too young for me. I thought she was 21 or so... a bit young (I'm 29) but not too bad. But then I learned she's 18. I could maybe overlook that if I tried hard enough, but she hasn't even graduated from high school yet.

So I think it's wisest for me to not pursue anything.

 

[London Geezer]

You're trying too hard.

 

[sytaylor]

Sage's problem is in his attitude to failure and success and not being willing to change that. It's simple, so long as you have the self opinion you're worthless you will be, if you believe you're doomed to failure you will be. The right thing is so easy to do if you want it enough. Last night I had a hawt girl stood next to me for 10 mins dancing, practically begging for me to talk to her. 'til some other dude walks over and does all the work. I could have bitten, and would easily have been successful, but the fact I chose not to is what prevented me from getting her.

Luckily for me I know full well who she was and that she has a history of going schizo on guys, so I stayed well away. Yet I think it makes the point, you know what to do, just like I did... you just choose not to do it, and then moan about it. You'll loose sympathy unless you buck up your ideas.

 

[Sage]

actually, i dont do that whole flirting / eye contact thing at all. when I'm interested in someone I usually do my best to avoid them.

This explains a lot re. why you have trouble getting a woman. There's not any mystery left to solve now.

do you want to know why I do that? Because in the past just about every time I expressed interest in a girl they suddenly get all wierd and try to avoid me. I'd rather them not notice me than act like that.