But Fred, the handwaving argument that "we have immense numbers of X" is irrelevent without context. if the probability of life forming is something like 1 in 10^20, maybe things work out. If it's 10^40, it becomes rare. You just can't take any large number X and wave your hands over it to solve any scenario.
We all know what the probability is of all the air molecules in my room moving to one corner . Can I just wave my hands and say "given the number of planets in the universe, it must have happened atleast once!!"
In fact, we do not know how many pathways lead to self replicating molecules. It could be that there is an unfathomly huge state space, and only a single sequence of moves which can arrive at a universal replicator.
We have reason to hope, because as shown by research in cellular automata, atleast with respect to idealized 1D and 2D automata, there are several rulesets which exibit universality (under the principal of computation equivalence), not just a single one, and there are several initial states which can lead to self replicating structures (e.g. glider guns)
We have only one ruleset (natural laws), but it may be that more than one initial condition (planet environment) can lead to evolution of life.
But this is utter and complete speculation. As of right now, we know of no such conditions. Therefore, speculation as to the existence of life, let alone ET intelligences, is borderline science, something CSICOP would call "gray" science.
People seem to have a deep seated need for the universe to not be devoid of life, an emotional attachment to the idea. I grew up on science fiction and sci-fi as well, and always dreamed of interstellar travel, aliens, et al, but the fact that I dream of it and wish it, does not make it neccessary that it exists.
I have fundamental doubts about the ability to travel faster than light. I'm placing my bet that any future interstellar travel will simply use vast amounts of time, with extremely small probes, at high velocities, with any conscious observers, mechanical, rather than biological, to the point of software. (think ship that weigh 1kg down to 1gram)
As of now, the only way we know of travel requires vast amounts of mass and energy, and I do not expect this to change, or that we will find ways to "cheat" and somehow steal a few exa-watts of power. All known methods currently rely on negative energy and exotic matter, and the amount of such things usually exceeeds the mass-energy requirements for classical travel.