Trying to restart my life during the pandemic.

I've been being good. We've been staying in except for essentials, masks when we go out and social distancing, my daughter is taking the semester off school because we all agree it's kind of insane to go back right now, and generally just falling in to a lazy assed routine of nothing as the days blur past me.

I'm tired of it, real tired. My house is falling apart due to new puppy which is normal but I'm not making enough effort to keep up with it, which isn't. My pool is f-ing green again and I got all the tools/chemicals to fix it, but I keep telling myself it's too hot and it's a pain in the ass with two puppies playing and wanting to play with you while you do it (fairness to me we've been having a heat wave and it's averaged about 103+F or around 40C for a week running now), my lawn is too long, the weeds are taking over my yard, and I got a toilet I really got to take apart and fix the seal from the upper tank to the lower tank (which I THINK I know how to do, how hard could it be?).

The entire ground floor of my overly large house is covered in ripped up cardboard, magazines, shoes, and various other things the dogs have been having fun with, my red room where I build computers is blocked off so the puppy doesn't keep peeing on the hardwood floor, my car still can't pass emissions and I'm not sure why, I took my daughter to 37 medical appointments so far this month and next week is an MRI and a cardiologist (she's ok, something is wrong and she's in pain and has no energy but it's not like she's dying and we are desperately trying to find out what is wrong), and my back is starting to hurt just a bit from the hours I spend in my car driving and just sitting waiting for her appointments. (I only go in when she wants me or I have to, don't want to give anyone germs)

My mom is a bit aggravated with me for not bringing the puppy over to play, but I made it up to her by bringing over my carpet cleaner and doing her carpets. She doesn't seem to realize that our "little" puppy is 3 times bigger than her dog already and I truly fear it could accidentally damage her. My mom is around 76 like my dad and they both have failing hearts and medical issues. They don't live together, they divorced back in '82 if I recall. Very unpleasant, I was 15 and got irrationally angry for a bit over a decade and turned a bit self-destructive/mean/alcoholic/drug addicty, but I got over it eventually. (I'm actually feeling bad for the Conway kids because of that a lot, sort of flashed me back as she's the same age I was and having your family fall apart really sucks and can turn your world upside down)

Anyways, the one major difference aside from the entire world that I figured out was that I sort of stopped taking my meds back in March. I think it was a bit of rationalization about hording/rationing them, but a lot of it was did I want to be taking adderall every day and have tons of energy and not be able to go anywhere or do anything?

Fast forward to last month. I was getting testy and had a short fuse and couldn't understand why. I started taking Lexapro again since it was an anti-depressant my cardiologist gave me to keep from getting too worked up. Since I started that I started my heart/blood pressure/cholesterol stuff again too since I have about a 3-4 month supply of all of them and I don't think I'll run out. The only meds I took pretty regularly was xanax, which was stupid but not. Stupid because it makes me laid back and lazy, but not stupid because when you're stuck in your house with 2 kids., a puppy, a psycho dog, and 5 cats with the occasional wife that calm and laid back ain't such a bad thing.

But I recently started working on my PC which felt good, so I fixed up my car and liked myself for that. Got my wife's carpet all cleaned and felt really good, so today I'm restarting my adderall and am gonna try and get busy just getting my house in order so I'm not mad at myself all the time.

One other thing about me going back on my ADHD meds, it tends to make me as chatty as a coke head the first few days until my body adjusts. Please forgive me for babbling too much stupid shit here, but I figure you're all either my friends or frenemies so y'all get it. This is the safest/bestest place for me to blow off steam. I either get great advice, funny comments, sick burns, or people can just ignore it.

If you made it this far, WOW! GO GET A LIFE!

 

Failing, thinking about divorce...

 

Decided to make a bet with myself to see if my wife cares or not. I stopped eating on Monday at around 4pm and decided I wouldn't until she noticed.

I'm just about hitting the 72 hour point of my fast.

 

SORRY! I started eating about 80 hours in, my kids noticed and made me feel like shit about it. My wife and me finally went out and had a talk while she drove around on Friday and it's all cooler. I don't hate my wife, I don't WANT a divorce, I just want some attention. She realizes this now.

Interesting side bit, while we were driving around she saw a medical supply company and wanted to see if she could buy a cpap machine off them to help her with sleep apnea. Long/short, we ended up driving around/calling places for a few hours trying to get her a cpap unit, but they're a prescription only medical device that she's going to have to wait a few weeks more for before they can officially get her one.

She was very sad, so I asked her if she'd mind if I tried. Had a ResMed S9 cpap machine within 2 hours, sterilized it, and unbricked it and unlocked it to physician mode. Turns out it was the identical machine she did the sleep lab with and she had her own nose piece, so we just set the settings to the equipment we had and played around with the pressure level until it felt right. She got her test results online the next day with the official settings for the machine, and an appointment on Tuesday with her doctor which will hopefully get her a new one within a few weeks...but at least she'll be able to sleep well for those few weeks.

She's used it for 2 days now, and she's feeling and acting like a totally different person. A rested and happy person who's much easier going, and I am very grateful. (As is she, she's still in shock I got the thing and got it working.)

Achievement unlocked, acquiring/hacking/reprogramming prescription only medical equipment and using it for illegal human experimentation! I am officially one step closer to becoming a mad scientist!

 

And since posting this I've been doing a whole lot better. I've been taking my meds religiously the last few months since my dad passed away. Everyone kept mentioning how he just blew off his heart meds all the time and I don't want that to be the case with me! The wife had foot surgery a few weeks ago to have a bone spur removed and she's doing well and almost recovered, she has about a week or so before she goes back to work. We've been getting along great, it's kind of scary for both of us. LOL

We're still in lockdown. Kids aren't doing much but they've gotten better about helping me around the house and with projects. Today we're gonna try and put a new stove and microwave in, if we can get the stove in the door.

Wife has been using her new/improved/kick ass cpap unit regularly and it's made a tremendous difference in her energy and mood, and both for the better! The puppies are still destroying the house, but I'm rolling with it now since we needed new carpet/furniture anyways and you only get to be a puppy once. Speaking of puppies, Pinky just turned 8 months old a week ago and is at about 85-95lbs. Buffy turned 3 years old a few days ago and weighs 73lbs.

Hope all is well with everyone and you're all staying safe and staying sane. Not the easiest time for it, but in my country at least I'm hoping it'll be improving soon with the new change in leadership. (HOOOOO-RAH!)

Big love and peace out!

 

Dumb as it sounds I don't think the entertainment system will ever be the same. Streaming will be replacing theaters, hopefully that will mean more content/more work for people in the industry soon. I do feel for ya Grace, things are awful for all productions lately and just to sound like the overly entitled American I am I miss the steady stream of new high quality content.

Sorry I thought you were a 'bot earlier. After seeing the video you posted I looked you up on IMDB and found out you're legit. Apologies for the doubt/teasing. I meant to say that a few months/threads back but never got around to it. Better late than never I hope.

Welcome to B3D.

 

I liked Hardcore Henry a lot even though it was a little fake/cheesy at times. The premise was good and it was insanely well executed, definitely recommended to give it a watch!