digitalwanderer
Legend
I've been being good. We've been staying in except for essentials, masks when we go out and social distancing, my daughter is taking the semester off school because we all agree it's kind of insane to go back right now, and generally just falling in to a lazy assed routine of nothing as the days blur past me.
I'm tired of it, real tired. My house is falling apart due to new puppy which is normal but I'm not making enough effort to keep up with it, which isn't. My pool is f-ing green again and I got all the tools/chemicals to fix it, but I keep telling myself it's too hot and it's a pain in the ass with two puppies playing and wanting to play with you while you do it (fairness to me we've been having a heat wave and it's averaged about 103+F or around 40C for a week running now), my lawn is too long, the weeds are taking over my yard, and I got a toilet I really got to take apart and fix the seal from the upper tank to the lower tank (which I THINK I know how to do, how hard could it be?).
The entire ground floor of my overly large house is covered in ripped up cardboard, magazines, shoes, and various other things the dogs have been having fun with, my red room where I build computers is blocked off so the puppy doesn't keep peeing on the hardwood floor, my car still can't pass emissions and I'm not sure why, I took my daughter to 37 medical appointments so far this month and next week is an MRI and a cardiologist (she's ok, something is wrong and she's in pain and has no energy but it's not like she's dying and we are desperately trying to find out what is wrong), and my back is starting to hurt just a bit from the hours I spend in my car driving and just sitting waiting for her appointments. (I only go in when she wants me or I have to, don't want to give anyone germs)
My mom is a bit aggravated with me for not bringing the puppy over to play, but I made it up to her by bringing over my carpet cleaner and doing her carpets. She doesn't seem to realize that our "little" puppy is 3 times bigger than her dog already and I truly fear it could accidentally damage her. My mom is around 76 like my dad and they both have failing hearts and medical issues. They don't live together, they divorced back in '82 if I recall. Very unpleasant, I was 15 and got irrationally angry for a bit over a decade and turned a bit self-destructive/mean/alcoholic/drug addicty, but I got over it eventually. (I'm actually feeling bad for the Conway kids because of that a lot, sort of flashed me back as she's the same age I was and having your family fall apart really sucks and can turn your world upside down)
Anyways, the one major difference aside from the entire world that I figured out was that I sort of stopped taking my meds back in March. I think it was a bit of rationalization about hording/rationing them, but a lot of it was did I want to be taking adderall every day and have tons of energy and not be able to go anywhere or do anything?
Fast forward to last month. I was getting testy and had a short fuse and couldn't understand why. I started taking Lexapro again since it was an anti-depressant my cardiologist gave me to keep from getting too worked up. Since I started that I started my heart/blood pressure/cholesterol stuff again too since I have about a 3-4 month supply of all of them and I don't think I'll run out. The only meds I took pretty regularly was xanax, which was stupid but not. Stupid because it makes me laid back and lazy, but not stupid because when you're stuck in your house with 2 kids., a puppy, a psycho dog, and 5 cats with the occasional wife that calm and laid back ain't such a bad thing.
But I recently started working on my PC which felt good, so I fixed up my car and liked myself for that. Got my wife's carpet all cleaned and felt really good, so today I'm restarting my adderall and am gonna try and get busy just getting my house in order so I'm not mad at myself all the time.
One other thing about me going back on my ADHD meds, it tends to make me as chatty as a coke head the first few days until my body adjusts. Please forgive me for babbling too much stupid shit here, but I figure you're all either my friends or frenemies so y'all get it. This is the safest/bestest place for me to blow off steam. I either get great advice, funny comments, sick burns, or people can just ignore it.
If you made it this far, WOW! GO GET A LIFE!
I'm tired of it, real tired. My house is falling apart due to new puppy which is normal but I'm not making enough effort to keep up with it, which isn't. My pool is f-ing green again and I got all the tools/chemicals to fix it, but I keep telling myself it's too hot and it's a pain in the ass with two puppies playing and wanting to play with you while you do it (fairness to me we've been having a heat wave and it's averaged about 103+F or around 40C for a week running now), my lawn is too long, the weeds are taking over my yard, and I got a toilet I really got to take apart and fix the seal from the upper tank to the lower tank (which I THINK I know how to do, how hard could it be?).
The entire ground floor of my overly large house is covered in ripped up cardboard, magazines, shoes, and various other things the dogs have been having fun with, my red room where I build computers is blocked off so the puppy doesn't keep peeing on the hardwood floor, my car still can't pass emissions and I'm not sure why, I took my daughter to 37 medical appointments so far this month and next week is an MRI and a cardiologist (she's ok, something is wrong and she's in pain and has no energy but it's not like she's dying and we are desperately trying to find out what is wrong), and my back is starting to hurt just a bit from the hours I spend in my car driving and just sitting waiting for her appointments. (I only go in when she wants me or I have to, don't want to give anyone germs)
My mom is a bit aggravated with me for not bringing the puppy over to play, but I made it up to her by bringing over my carpet cleaner and doing her carpets. She doesn't seem to realize that our "little" puppy is 3 times bigger than her dog already and I truly fear it could accidentally damage her. My mom is around 76 like my dad and they both have failing hearts and medical issues. They don't live together, they divorced back in '82 if I recall. Very unpleasant, I was 15 and got irrationally angry for a bit over a decade and turned a bit self-destructive/mean/alcoholic/drug addicty, but I got over it eventually. (I'm actually feeling bad for the Conway kids because of that a lot, sort of flashed me back as she's the same age I was and having your family fall apart really sucks and can turn your world upside down)
Anyways, the one major difference aside from the entire world that I figured out was that I sort of stopped taking my meds back in March. I think it was a bit of rationalization about hording/rationing them, but a lot of it was did I want to be taking adderall every day and have tons of energy and not be able to go anywhere or do anything?
Fast forward to last month. I was getting testy and had a short fuse and couldn't understand why. I started taking Lexapro again since it was an anti-depressant my cardiologist gave me to keep from getting too worked up. Since I started that I started my heart/blood pressure/cholesterol stuff again too since I have about a 3-4 month supply of all of them and I don't think I'll run out. The only meds I took pretty regularly was xanax, which was stupid but not. Stupid because it makes me laid back and lazy, but not stupid because when you're stuck in your house with 2 kids., a puppy, a psycho dog, and 5 cats with the occasional wife that calm and laid back ain't such a bad thing.
But I recently started working on my PC which felt good, so I fixed up my car and liked myself for that. Got my wife's carpet all cleaned and felt really good, so today I'm restarting my adderall and am gonna try and get busy just getting my house in order so I'm not mad at myself all the time.
One other thing about me going back on my ADHD meds, it tends to make me as chatty as a coke head the first few days until my body adjusts. Please forgive me for babbling too much stupid shit here, but I figure you're all either my friends or frenemies so y'all get it. This is the safest/bestest place for me to blow off steam. I either get great advice, funny comments, sick burns, or people can just ignore it.
If you made it this far, WOW! GO GET A LIFE!
