Now more than ever, this is the X BOX

[Cyan]

With the inclusion of Internet Explorer for the Xbox 360 in this fall update, some sites are rejoicing at the possibilities. I am pretty sure savvy gamers thought about this already , but just in case Youporn said in an official steamy announcement that people know will be able to use their service on the console too.

Btw, the actual Youtube works like a charm on consoles. :smile: I am surprised by the fact that I watch a lot of documentaries and in the case of those which are split in different parts, the console automatically switches from part 1, to part 2, then to part 3, then part 4, and so forth.

Okay, this is the news:

http://www.destructoid.com/youporn-now-on-xbox-welcomes-xbox-masturbators--235975.phtml

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live.

Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer coming soon to Xbox 360, you can access YouPorn. But let's not rain on its parade.

"Whether you’re pwning n00bs in CoD: Modern Warfare 3, annihilating Bullymong in Borderlands 2, or taking the Saints deep in Madden NFL 13, you’re never more than a few simple controller clicks away from being face deep in hot free porn," boasts the site.

This is my favorite story.

YouPorn is even good enough to provide some help to any "Xbox Masturbators" who may be worried that they can't adequately mutilate their boners while playing Xbox. Check out this salient advice:

XBox Masturbator Pro Tip: Pick up a wireless USB keyboard to make your XBox Internet Explorer porn browsing experiencing even better. Just plug the Wireless USB adapter into one of the USB ports on your XBox and boom, instant XBox keyboard. Trust me, it’s a hell of a lot easier than typing with your controller… and as we all know, the faster you can get to your precious porn, the better.
​

Seriously ... this is the best story. This is what videogame news is all about. Some of you may ask, "How is this a story?" I answer you by saying, "Fuck off."

Microsoft has been sure to address YouPorn's proud announcement, stating, "To be clear, we are adding Internet Explorer to Xbox Live, not specific adult content providers like YouPorn or any other specific website content. Additionally, we give members and parents the option to turn this feature on or off for their accounts. Access to Internet Explorer for all Child accounts is blocked by default."

So basically, Microsoft 100% approves and welcomes its new lifelong business partner, YouPorn, into the game console industry.

 

[mrcorbo]

SeXbox, indeed. I await the competently researched and investigated Fox News story.

 

[joker454]

Well according to google analytics, only 0.14% of my website traffic comes from PS3 browser users, so I'm curious what % will come from Xbox 360 IE users. Although it may just get lumped into the generic IE category so it may not be possible to track exactly.

 

[Arwin]

Well according to google analytics, only 0.14% of my website traffic comes from PS3 browser users, so I'm curious what % will come from Xbox 360 IE users. Although it may just get lumped into the generic IE category so it may not be possible to track exactly.

Wait, you own youporn?

0.14% is more than I would have expected for sure.

So IE actually plays Flash stuff? I know these sites somewhat worked on the PS3, and on Vita you could download clips rather than watch them ...

Anyway, funny indeed they sent this out as a press release to sites like these ...

 

[Cyan]

SeXbox, indeed. I await the competently researched and investigated Fox News story.

The only way I don't see it becoming successful is if people went on strike at once, you know what I mean, that idea and tactic that has been there since ancient Greece called sex strike, where people withhold sex. But since most people are sexual, it will not ever happen....

I knew judging from his replies joker454 is educated and enlightened, but I would have never thought you had a webpage which such a large portion of PS3 fanbase use it regularly. I agree with Arwin that it is a success.

Arwin, IE supports flash, and to be honest, it is a pretty darn good web browser. In fact, Internet Explorer 9 is my default browser, and I basically tried them all!! Many of them were my default browsers for a while, but IE is the most secure browser, and that to me means everything.

I would have loved it it if had a built-in spell checker, but I installed Speckie and other than that I am pretty happy with it. If only I could say something bad it would be that I miss the fact that I could open Youtube related videos in Opera -my 2nd favourite- using the "Open in a new tab" feature, and for some reason I can't do that on Internet Explorer.

It is my favourite browser nowadays because after being robbed when someone stole my credit card data and seeing odd things happening when browsing pretty harmless places, I switched to IE and never looked back -Chrome was my default browser for a long time, Opera too, Firefox never appealed to me but it also was my default browser for about half a year-.

When I see the typical Internet Explorer message "Only secure content is displayed" I am grateful and I feel relieved.

There is an study from the last week which says what I already knew for certain, that IE is the most secure web browser by far::smile2:

https://insanitybit.wordpress.com/2...net-explorer-most-secure-against-click-fraud/

 

[Brad Grenz]

They probably have an html5 version of their player for iOS that also works in IE for 360.

 

[mrcorbo]

They probably have an html5 version of their player for iOS that also works in IE for 360.

Probably this. A functioning implementation of an open standard implemented on IE(!) on the Xbox 360?(!!). My how times have changed.

 

[Grall]

SeXbox, indeed. I await the competently researched and investigated Fox News story.

I wonder if Fox News has ever heard that guns can be used to murder people.

Anyone making waves over the fact that you can surf porn using a web browser on a console is just crying wolf. Where's the news here? Internet porn has existed for two decades soon, give or take a little. Web browsers have existed a little longer.

All current consoles have parental controls, giving consoles an easier and more secure method to limit "unwanted" useage/surfing, compared to many other devices, computers in particular.

 

[joker454]

Wait, you own youporn?

Oops I should have clarified, I don't own youporn but I do have my own successful line of adult websites that get very heavy web traffic, hence why I'm semi-retired now. I am curious to know what % of console users actually surf such sites so I am hoping the 360's browser is tracked separately so that I can get that kind of data. PS3's browser is tracked separate which is cool so I can see exactly what % of my users come from there.

 

[willardjuice]

0.14% is more than I would have expected for sure.

I think there were ~600 ps triple users who visited the front page of b3d last month. If that's not a "wtf!?!" moment, I don't know what is.

 

[I.S.T.]

Oops I should have clarified, I don't own youporn but I do have my own successful line of adult websites that get very heavy web traffic, hence why I'm semi-retired now. I am curious to know what % of console users actually surf such sites so I am hoping the 360's browser is tracked separately so that I can get that kind of data. PS3's browser is tracked separate which is cool so I can see exactly what % of my users come from there.

You went from programmer at EA to porn czar?

 

[-tkf-]

Oops I should have clarified, I don't own youporn but I do have my own successful line of adult websites that get very heavy web traffic, hence why I'm semi-retired now. I am curious to know what % of console users actually surf such sites so I am hoping the 360's browser is tracked separately so that I can get that kind of data. PS3's browser is tracked separate which is cool so I can see exactly what % of my users come from there.

o_0

You went from programmer at EA to porn czar?

This thread just gave the X a whole new meaning.. X Xbox, X Programmer all adds up to XXX thread..

Joker, does your site even run with the PS3 browser, it's been a while since i used it.. the browser that is.. and it was always a primitive and stop gap solution, i never considered surfing porn with it :/

 

[joker454]

This thread just gave the X a whole new meaning.. X Xbox, X Programmer all adds up to XXX thread..

Joker, does your site even run with the PS3 browser, it's been a while since i used it.. the browser that is.. and it was always a primitive and stop gap solution, i never considered surfing porn with it :/

It is a slightly strange story I guess, but not so strange once you've lived in LA At the time when I made the sites in 2009 I went for an extremely simple content forward design, I guess what they now call 'metro'. All I used was html and javascript, nothing else, no java, no flash, no plugins, nothing, and there is very little actual website in the way of the content, it's very simple and clean. I wanted the sites to work on every device possible so they work on iOS phones and tablets, android phones, windows phones, new pc's, old crappy pc's, mac's, you name it. I never did test it on a PS3 browser but it should work given the extreme basic nature of how the sites are made. The only issues I ever had were my picture galleries used to crash the iOS browser early on but they eventually fixed Safari to correct that, and iOS and Android phones don't know what to do with wmv files so I switch the links to mobile mp4's when those platforms are detected.

I always kind of wondered if some people would use the PS3 browser to hide it from their parents, because if they used a regular pc to surf such sites then even a semi tech savvy parent could figure it out. Using a console though would make it much easier to hide such nefarious activity. Anyways in case there is interest, the more full traffic os breakdown is as follows:

Windows: 77.95%
Mac: 7.09%
iOS: 6.21%
Android: 4.48%
Linux: 1.53%
Blackberry: 0.41%
PS3: 0.14%
Windows Phone: 0.06%
Wii: 0.01%

No 360 os being tracked yet, have to wait until the update goes live to everyone I guess.

 

[Scott_Arm]

Wii ... lol

 

[Cyan]

You went from programmer at EA to porn czar?

hahahahaahhaha, you can be so hilarious sometimes. This porn czar expression sounds similar to saying porn caesar to me. :smile:

Wii ... lol

X-D Well, this means I can go to a friend's place and safely play the Wii in their house. This also applies to the Xbox 360 as of currently.

However, after the next update is launched whenever I go to play the X360 at a friend's house, I'm going to bring my own controller from my home to theirs, to avoid surprises when holding their controller.

 

[Squilliam]

However, after the next update is launched whenever I go to play the X360 at a friend's house, I'm going to bring my own controller from my home to theirs, to avoid surprises when holding their controller.

Do you play at girl 'friend' houses? I mean friend not girl friend if you know what I mean.

 

[Cyan]

Do you play at girl 'friend' houses? I mean friend not girl friend if you know what I mean.

You got me a bit confused with your question at first until I got it -I think I did-, and I don't know about your "girl" friends, but the kind I have here aren't the most daring and you are likely to see little flesh. But I can imagine a Kinect enhanced game to keep people focused all night long, especially with certain *friends*.


I can also imagine a Kinect version of Dead or Alive, where people can knead some parts as if they were bread. But anyways I love the idea of a web browser on a console, much much safer than in a PC. And you can also think something like "I am going to finish this boss and then it's time to get messy".


Btw, after the news...those who bought Dead or Alive 5, are going to get a refund?


On a more serious note, joker454, you have had all the consoles this generation iirc, and if you tested your website with them, how do the PS3 and Wii upscale the videos? I mean, quality wise, which one upscales them better? Just curious....

 

[I.S.T.]

Wii doesn't upscale shit. It's 480i/480p or nothing.

 

[joker454]

On a more serious note, joker454, you have had all the consoles this generation iirc, and if you tested your website with them, how do the PS3 and Wii upscale the videos? I mean, quality wise, which one upscales them better? Just curious....

I never actually owned a Wii. I had a 360 and PS3, but their very limited media playback abilities got me really frustrated so I never used them for that very much, I've been using a pc instead for years now. So I can't really comment on their upscaling abilities when just playing regular media files. I do remember the PS3 having an excellent dvd upscaler some years ago. They have gobs of cpu power available to them for media playback so I'd presume it upscales regular media files really nicely as well. My memory of the quality of the 360's dvd upscaler is somewhere between appalling and bad...but that was a long time ago.

 

[bkilian]

This reminds me of a bug report from the early days of Kinect. Title: My Xbox responds when I say "sexbox". As I recall, the dev looking at the bug resolved it with "Move your sexbox into another room"