Digitalwanderer

Oh, and I got an infection. No biggy, I went back to hospital on Monday after my home visit nurse showed up and didn't like how my incision looked. My surgeon put me on anti-biotics and the only side effect seems to be one of them sort-of-fun feverish hallucinatory states. Makes the day a bit more weird and entertaining. :)

They said it's very normal and a very not severe infection, no biggy. Me and my wife are both keeping an eye on it, I just sort of find it all very gross tbh. (I'm not good with gore. :s )
 
Ugh, thread collision ahead! My sister who I haven't spoken to in over 6 months due to a bit of a falling out with my family is coming over today in about 5-1/2 hours. Probably should mention that my Moms visited me in the hospital which was also the first time we've communicated since then, and I sort of forgave her...but mainly 'cause she's old,frail, dying, etc and even I ain't that horrible of a human being.

But Beth, Beth is different. She broke my heart and knows damned well she did, the only thing she doesn't know is that I know how much and which bits she's "kept hidden from me". My whole family is teaming up against me to arrange/set up this visit thinking it'll be good for me, but all I can do is feel resentment and bile filling me and I have NO FUCKING CLUE what to do. :(

Should I cheat and steal my car and leave? No, fuck that. I don't run from my home. I have no idea why she wants to see me, and I have no clue how I'll react. This should be fun.
 
Just let the events unfold and watch from the side! Things change in life and people do change too from time to time.

I'm lucky I grown up in family who usually gets along very well with each other. We have our disagreements from time to time but we always put them aside quickly. I wish you the same!
 
My family got torn to shreds in a divorce when I was 16 and never, ever recovered. Seems like it's sides and coalitions all around, to the point I'd need a chart to keep track of who I can talk to about what and who I can't talk to about certain things. I'm in the rather odd position of getting along pretty well with both my parents to some extent, but my family has so much baggage that it just isn't funny.

I got tired of being blamed for my baggage from years ago, so I stopped letting them. They're used to me folding when they call me an asshole because most of the time they were right and I was wrong, I WAS being an asshole. Problem is this time I'm not and I damned well know it so I'm not backing down very easily nor feeling particularly forgiving. :(

Sorry, just me. I tend to hold grudges against people who make my children cry.
 
I.S.T. said:
Kick her out of your house and tell her she is not wanted or needed.
Click to expand...
My kids love her to death and she is very good to them, as well as my wife liking her a lot. I can't disapprove of her involvement in their lives as I think their lives will be better/richer for it.

It's just me and her that are having problems, I'm trying not to drag the family in on this one. Aside from not wanting them involved, I'm pretty sure they'll side with her and I'll end up being the quintuple bad guy suddenly. <roll>

She's taken my kids out for dinner since our falling out, I do trust her and know she loves my kids...it's just me she can't stand and thinks is an asshole for how I treated my brother.
 
Glad to hear that you are recovering and alive. Love the drama too, almost as bad as mine.
Be the better guy and hold your tongue, anger, emotions whilst your sister is there. Never know she may genuinely be wanting to see how her bro is and family is family.
 
Ok, I won't try and fix it. I'll just try and do a bit better next time.

Finally got to use the selfie stick for the first time, I think I like it! Makes them group shots easier.

On a final note, this is me trying to not look like I got a quadruple bypass about two and a half weeks. Figure go in from a position of strength rather than one of pity.
 
You could identify the sore spots and mutually recognize them as such, and agree they are off-limits while interacting. Perhaps even agree on a hand signal to warn the other in case of accidents. This is worth it if you recognize your worlds are better off with both of you being part of the others'.

As for what happened to your kids, you just support them and from that position teach them to communicate their feelings themselves to your sister. Let them decide for themselves if the good outweighs the bad.

My wife has a lot of baggage too btw, and it causes quite some trouble now and then, but for the first time she found a book that actually helps with dealing with that. She has read literally hundreds so this means something. ;) I'll find the title if your interested.

Above all though, make sure your heart is up to it all. So make sure to withdraw to the bedroom or whatever as soon as you notice the visitors are too much. ;)

(Of course this advice is too late now anyway)
 
Dont hate yourself!
Ansiety is playing a major role now.

Believe in yourself, relax and focus on get better physically.
You should try some meditation to relax and clear your mind.

In a few months you will be able to fix things.

Live long and prosper!
 
I believe in myself greatly, I also know when to blame myself for fuck ups and I ain't shy about taking responsibilities for those either. I did bad, I get punished.

Today I'm depressed which is allowed, and I'm not taking painkillers so I can enjoy my agonies further. I really screwed the pooch on this one and didn't mean to, I am QUITE cross with myself. :(
 
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