So is it true that Windows 8.1's solution to not having a start menu is to put in a start button that simply takes you to the abortion that is the start screen under Metro?
That's true. But the transition is now much less jarring as the Start Screen uses the same background image as the desktop. The Start Screen now feels and looks like an almost transparent layer over the desktop.
The best improvement in the Start Screen is the new search. The search results now include the settings just like the Windows 7's Start Menu search did. So I can type "pow" and see results like "Powershell" and "Power and sleep settings" next to each other.