The graphics techniques of most PC games are still heavily rooted in console-era hardware. I'm not surprised that a lot of people don't see a huge difference between PC and console games when in most cases you only see improvements for the low-hanging fruit like higher resolution, or more taps for SSAO or some post-processing effect. In general you're not seeing radical departures in material models, or non-traditional rendering techniques for difficult surfaces like hair and foliage, or volumetric simulation + rendering for smoke effects, or any of the other really cool things that you could do if you truly exploited the throughput and flexibility of a high-end DX11 GPU. I really think that we're going to have to improve a lot more than just image quality if we want to give people a true next-gen graphical experience.
Some of the stuff you mentionn, the newer techniques have less bang for the buck improvement than some of the improvements you can see now on pc. Take volumetric fog for example. If your game is Silent Hill or Alan Wake then ok it will help somewhat to make it look better. But in most cases it may make a typical game look better 5% of the time, basically whenever fog is present in a scene. Someone that plays a demo may never even get to see it. Hair surfaces as well, for some games it will help like behind the camera rpg's but even then hair represents just a small percentage of what you see on screen so you are looking at lower bang for the buck. And in many games you don't even see player hair so there is no value there.
So I thought about it a bit more, trying to sort out why pc gaming isn't viewed as an upgrade to some and wondered, what types of improvements hit you in the face on any game through the entire game viewed on any type of tv of any size, hence giving more Ooooo and Ahhhh bank for the buck? For example I didn't count aliasing because in some games it's not that bad, higher resolution helps mitigate it as well, some games color palettes make it less of an issue, small tv's make aliasing harder to spot, etc. Likewise I decided to not even include resolution since it seems like people can't see the difference much generally speaking, and if they have a small tv they will notice resolution bump even less so. So what improvements hit across entire games irregardless of game type, tv size, game color pallete, etc? I came up with these:
1) 60fps
2) Texture resolution.
3) Shadows
4) Art style
The above 4, if improved, should be noticeble to most irregardless of what game they are playing, how small their tv is, and so on, hence those improvements to a game should be most noticeable across the masses. At least that's all I could come up with when speaking purely visually. Yeah there's a million other things you can improve, but my argument is if people don't even notice the above 4 which should stand out on any game on any tv, then would they even really notice stuff like improvements in hair rendering? I would see it, you would see it, but would the masses really see it as wow look at that improvement?
Making that list above I think explains to me why pc isn't seen as much of an upgrade at all to many out there. #2 Texture resolution and #4 Art style by and large aren't improved on pc at all. Most of the time those are simply equivalent to console. #1 60 fps should be a big one, but I think when most people say they have a high end pc they very possible don't have one, and while they may be running with all details maxed they may only be getting 30fps. Likewise people tend to view youtube videos, etc, to compare to pc and those are normally encoded at 30fps so poof, the 60fps pc advantage in many cases gets totally negated or their hardware can't do it anyways. Which leaves #3 Shadows. Every game has shadows so every game shows improvement here on pc in form of longer draw distances for shadows, better looking shadows, more shadow casting sources or whatever. That's about all I could come up with.
In other words I think I now realize why pc games are seen as meh in terms of visual improvement for many simply because many just don't notice the smaller details even on games like BF3, and the bigger details aren't improved enough on your typical pc game. At least that's my theory