My name is Paul, I'm 16, and I have a drinking problem.

[Joe DeFuria]

Well what is wrong with ultra-hip/popular kids?

Nothing...until / if the hip and popular kids come down on self-proclaimed dorks because there is something different about them. (Be it looks, grades, participation in social "norms" like drugs / alchohol, etc.)

...and pretty much the only people that didn't drink were the kids of average intelligence that wanted to appear smarter than everyone else by studying all the time to make good grades while some of us just got them fine.

In other words, there was something wronf with the kids who didn't "drink?" You said earlier that the "choice" not to drink is fine....and yet I continue to see you harp on some aspect of any kid who doesn't drink.

Now, the kids who didn't drink were on some mission to "appear smarter" than you?

My philosophy is that if you're dumb enough to drink and drive, then you deserve whatever happens to you. And if you end up killing someone else, or more than one person, hopefully their souls will automatically enter heaven for being taken too early, and the drunk driver will go straight to hell.

Yes, much consolation when YOUR kid is the innocent victim. Or like my cousin (was at college), who was WALKING on a sidewalk along a road and was hit and killed by a drunk driver.

But the driver had a "social life" I suppose....so it's all A.O.K.

 

[AAlcHemY]

Well, to be honest, I think would laugh too when a student tells me all about how bad alcohol is. But it doesn't mean you don't have a point. Yes it can be bad to drink and drive, but everybody who drinks knows that, so imo its not needed to hear that again.

I used to be very addicted on weed when I was a student, about 3 years long. There were ( sober ) days when I could't even remember my name, or were I was ( when I was in my own room ) During that period, I never realised how bad it actually was, and thats the biggest problem imo. Recently I saw some pics from me back then, and I never want to have such a period again. Its just way easier as a outsider, it all sounds that easy to quit. Now its about 0.5 year that I stopped the drugs, and my hands still shake from time to time. I realise I never loose the need for it, and in a bad period, I'll probably start again. I'm just a little afraid for all that, its extremely hard to fight yourself against it.

Anyway, I stopped it for a girl, otherwise it would be impossible for me to quit without help from outsiders. My advise would be the AA, like most people here already told.

 

[surfhurleydude]

No, you have a problem with people promoting NOT drinking. They are labelled as "dorks...socially inept?"

When someone says "DRINKING IS NOT FUN, ITS DANGEROUS, what do you expect me to say? If drinking wasn't any fun, nobody would drink, and we wouldn't be discussing this right now, would we?

I disagree. I think many teachers / parents prefer to be ignorant when it comes to their kids social lives, rather than actually see what's going on.

Teachers are no where near as ignorant as you think, neither are parents. Don't be so naive.

Um, if I'm not mistaken, PAUL doesn't have respect for his choice to drink (which lead to his current situation and hence this thread.)

No, Paul thinks he has a drinking problem, but simply doesn't know what a real drinking problem is.

And your statements sound like someone who ignores the inherent danges of alcohol right up until someone gets killed.

The only problems with drinking are drunk driving and puking on yourself, which I already commented on.

Of course.

Have you ever attended a party at which there was no alcohol?

? It isn't a party if there's no alcohol, or something to get fucked up with.

I'm still trying to figure that statement out...

It's simple.... People that are popular and have lots of friends go out to drink in order to have fun and get to know their friends better and meet new people... Which is my point about people that don't like to drink primarily consisting of social outcasts... Drinking lets you meet new people and maybe one time you'll find that special someone through drinking... People who drink aren't by default dirty whores that sleep around with everyone... Drinking always loosens up tensions however and can break the ice between people.

 

[Tahir2]

Guden keep your post and don't erase it (like you were gonna anyway...).

I can't believe I hear statements like these from people to back up their arguments:

The thing that even puzzles me more is the fact that he is not from America - the only country that even HAS a problem with drinking...

Way to go surfhurleydude... I can't respect anyone that lays low blows like that, it is not called for.

By the way if you want statistics:

According to the National Council on Alcohol and Drug Dependency, 105,000 Americans die annually from alcohol-related causes which could include everything from falls to drunk driving accidents to cirrhosis of the liver.

41% of driving fatalities were Alcohol related included in that figure. The driving fatalities only make up about 15% of Alcohol related deaths in the above figure.

That is a LOT of people affected by Alcohol...familes, friends, those that are involved...I think surfhurleydude post was the one that is irresponsible not Guden's even if he is incredibly passionate about this subject.

There are people who are more sensible and do not have a problem with Alcohol, but personally speaking I keep as far away from it as I can.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Paul, you are an intelligent guy and at this early stage you have noted that you are either addicted or getting addicted to alcohol. As others have said knowing you have a problem is the first step.

Your family can help you with your problem, ask them for help, they will understand you the best, and yes seek professional help as well. However the only real person that will help you though is yourself - and I think that you are on your way to mending yourself. For example going cold turkey is not easy and I am not sure I would recommend it but it is an option. The side effects are pretty bad, but first you must stop drinking and then you can begin to control your habit.

I wish you the best in fighting your own personal demons.

Edit: Closed Tag

...and Joe sorry to hear about your loss - you have my condolences.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

During that period, I never realised how bad it actually was, and thats the biggest problem imo. Recently I saw some pics from me back then, and I never want to have such a period again. Its just way easier as a outsider, it all sounds that easy to quit.

I think that's kind of the point. I don't see anyone here claiming it's easy to quit or stop. Quite the contrary...the best bet is just not to start. Even THAT is hard to do...as people such as surfhurleydude seem to make it a crime to promote such an absurd idea.

 

[surfhurleydude]

Well what is wrong with ultra-hip/popular kids?

Nothing...until / if the hip and popular kids come down on self-proclaimed dorks because there is something different about them. (Be it looks, grades, participation in social "norms" like drugs / alchohol, etc.)

...and pretty much the only people that didn't drink were the kids of average intelligence that wanted to appear smarter than everyone else by studying all the time to make good grades while some of us just got them fine.

In other words, there was something wronf with the kids who didn't "drink?" You said earlier that the "choice" not to drink is fine....and yet I continue to see you harp on some aspect of any kid who doesn't drink.

Now, the kids who didn't drink were on some mission to "appear smarter" than you?

My philosophy is that if you're dumb enough to drink and drive, then you deserve whatever happens to you. And if you end up killing someone else, or more than one person, hopefully their souls will automatically enter heaven for being taken too early, and the drunk driver will go straight to hell.

Yes, much consolation when YOUR kid is the innocent victim. Or like my cousin (was at college), who was WALKING on a sidewalk along a road and was hit and killed by a drunk driver.

But the driver had a "social life" I suppose....so it's all A.O.K.

Joe, your selective reading is annoying me GREATLY. Unless you read my posts in their entirety, instead of quotes that you think you can argue with me about, I will not reply to any more of your posts.

I have commented on my views regarding drunk driving already, yet you seem to ignore it.

The other odd part is that in this thread it is not the popular people making fun of the dorks, it is the nerds insinuating how much better they are than the other kids because they don't drink.

 

[John Reynolds]

Well, to be honest, I think would laugh too when a student tells me all about how bad alcohol is. But it doesn't mean you don't have a point. Yes it can be bad to drink and drive, but everybody who drinks knows that, so imo its not needed to hear that again.

Trust me, I wasn't surprised by the reaction I got. I was vehemently anti-clique establishment (for lack of a better phrase) in high school.

 

[Joe DeFuria]

Joe, your selective reading is annoying me GREATLY.

And your attitude annoys me GREATLY.

I have commented on my views regarding drunk driving already, yet you seem to ignore it.

No, I quoted it. What are your other views on drunk driving other than "those who do it deserve what they get and go to hell, and any innocents involved should go striaght to heaven?"

What do you have to say to my Aunt and Uncle? Their son should be going to heaven...don't sweat it?

Or is "drinking" not part of the "drinking and driving" equation?

The other odd part is that in this thread it is not the popular people making fun of the dorks,

No, that's typical of the teen social structure, as is nicely exemplified in your post.

it is the nerds insinuating how much better they are than the other kids because they don't drink.

It's not that you think you're better than them because you DO drink, or support drinking...

 

[Nite_Hawk]

Hi Paul,

Your going to get a lot of advice in this thread. Some of it is going to come from people who hate alcohol, and some of it is going to come from people who love it. It's something you should keep in mind reading throug all of these replies.

I guess if I were you the first thing I would do is try to calm down about it. It sounds like your pretty upset about the current state of things, and that's never good, but don't worry about what's already happened. The bigger question is where do you want to go from here? From what you said, it sounds like your most upset about drinking heavily (rather than just having a beer every now and then) as you end up doing "retarded" things when you drink. I'd try laying off alcohol for a while, maybe a month or two, and see how you feel about it. It'll give you a chance to get some perspective. If you end up feeling like you "need" it or can't resist it, you should probably talk to a councellor about it. On the other hand, you might just be burnt out and need a break. Alcohol affects everyone differently, but I've noticed that most people end up feeling more of what they currently feel. If they are mad, they get madder. If they are sad, they get depressed, if happy, they tend to become giddy. Sounds like you probably could use a break for a while.

I can relate about getting "fucked up" in some ways. Some of the most fun memories I have was when a bunch of my friends, my wife, and I all were out hot-tubing and got drunk and had a blast. I remember other times though, where people got moody or sullen and the alcohol just made it worse. It's kind of a double edged sword. Personally, I've found that I enjoy heavier drinking mostly when I save it for special occassions (even if it's just having a barbique with friends I don't get to see too often). A nice dark stout can be good with a steak every now and then too though.

Nite_Hawk

 

[surfhurleydude]

And your attitude annoys me GREATLY.

That's fine, but if we were asked to compare lives, I don't think there's any doubt who would have the more exciting and fun life. Girls, parties, what else is there to live for?

No, I quoted it. What are your other views on drunk driving other than "those who do it deserve what they get and go to hell, and any innocents involved should go striaght to heaven?"

What do you have to say to my Aunt and Uncle? Their son should be going to heaven...don't sweat it?

Or is "drinking" not part of the "drinking and driving" equation?

Sorry man, shit happens. I do not find it humorous at all that you think that every single person that drinks will drive drunk. Have you been brainwashed by your parents propaganda as well? If someone kills one of my family members, I'm not going to stop drinking because of it. It's not the alcohol's fault the person drove, it is the driver's. This world is about responsibilities, and you think you are all high and mighty because you are attempting to place the sins of all drunk drivers on all of those that drink. I don't hate all black people and think that all black people are horrible drivers because one person that happened to be black hit my car.

Instead of sitting here bitching, perhaps you should try to get some anti-alcohol legislation passed in your state. See how far that gets you.

Need I remind you the 18th amendment was repealed for a REASON.

You are having a massive stereotype problem. I think it is very brash and arrogant of you to say that drinking is wrong and bad because some individuals have problems controlling what they do when they are intoxicated.

 

[Tahir2]

105'000 people died due to Alcohol Related Deaths in 2002.
Approx 17'000 of those fatalities were caused by Drunk Drivers.
88'000 people died due to an Alcohol Related Death [edit] not related to Drink Driving.


That is in the US alone.

 

[surfhurleydude]

Tahir, what are you trying to prove? You're not proving a damn thing. If the numbers were high enough that anyone gave a damn, there would be more legislation by the government against alcohol. The United States is a democracy, and if there big enough support for new laws against alcohol, they would be passed.

Sure, many states are passing stricter laws concerning DUIs, and I am very proud that I live in a state that as of the other day now has extremely strict DUI laws.

However, you're not going to see laws regarding the consumption or sale of alcohol change any time soon.

 

[Tahir2]

I'm just saying from my point of view and those of others that are affected by Alcohol and the problems it can cause it does matter.

The carefree attitude and your attack of Guden seemed to deny there was any problem with Alcohol per se.

You are entitled to your own opinion but so am I and others... you dont seem to be seeing that - to you it is abour nerds and dorks and partying.. without trying to sound rude can I ask how old you are?

 

[surfhurleydude]

I'm 20 and I am turning 21 in the next month. I don't have a carefree attitude about drinking, but the blatantly obvious FALSE PROPAGANDA being spread in this thread is making me have to pick a side in this argument, and I can't side with the ridiculously inaccurate notions being thrown around here.

Drinking isn't fun??? Ummm... Well, yes, maybe if you're a depressed social outcast that hates the world. Alcohol can and will amplify the mood you are in before you drink.

Yes, my views are radically different from apparently a large number of posters here. I'm almost shocked that I am the only person defending drinking here in this thread... I've witnessed more people today talk down drinking than I have in real life in a very very long time. I assume maybe it's the people I am around in real life... Which isn't really a bad thing... Most of the people I see are generally easy on the eyes.

 

[Tahir2]

Well, yes, maybe if you're a depressed social outcast that hates the world.

When you say things like that it makes it hard to reply to you.
Yes Alcohol can be fun. Yes it can also control your life if you are not careful.

You have found a balance but others have or did not. It maybe that your own opinion of alcohol will change if you run into problems yourself.

FYI not everyone who is arguing against alcohol is a "depressed social outcast that hates the world." Amazing the diversity of humanity isn't it? But you never explicitly stated that they were "depressed social outcast that hates the world".

If you are referring to specific members of this forum, I am sure they can defend themselves...

 

[Mariner]

Social drinking does not always lead to drunk driving.

I often go out at weekends and have a few too many to drink. Nothing wrong with this, though as it is my personal choice. I either walk out to the pubs or get a taxi - no drunk driving involved.

Lots of people in this thread are equating any drinking with drunken driving and this seems daft to me. All of my friends enjoy a drink (and often to excess when we get together) but none of us have been prosecuted for drunk driving despite the fact that we've all driven for over 10 years. In fact, I can't think of anyone I know who has been prosecuted for drunk driving - this is because we don't do it, not because we've not been caught!

Drunk driving is stupid and dangerous and this is why it is illegal - anyone caught doing it should have the book thrown at them. But it is certainly possible to enjoy a drink without getting into a car and turning the key.

My advice to Paul is that you are too young to be drinking to excess frequently, especially if you're having problems controlling your consumption. I'd lay off the sauce for a few months at least if I were you and think about what you are doing. It would be an awful pity if you developed a serious problem with drink when young as I'm of the opinion that the odd beer/wine is one of life's pleasures as you get older, especially when eating a nice meal!

I have a friend who got a bit too much into the drinking culture when at University (and drugs, too, though he's off those). He realised that his drinking was becoming too much of a habit and did something about it - now he usually doesn't drink when he goes out although he does have several beers on a few occasions during each year.

 

[Mariner]

Well, yes, maybe if you're a depressed social outcast that hates the world.

When you say things like that it makes it hard to reply to you.
Yes Alcohol can be fun. Yes it can also control your life if you are not careful.

You have found a balance but others have or did not. It maybe that your own opinion of alcohol will change if you run into problems yourself.

FYI not everyone who is arguing against alcohol is a "depressed social outcast that hates the world." Amazing the diversity of humanity isn't it? But you never explicitly stated that they were "depressed social outcast that hates the world".

If you are referring to specific members of this forum, I am sure they can defend themselves...

I do enjoy a drink but one thing I never do is turn to the bottle if I'm unhappy about something/emotionally distraught/whatever. Using booze as an emotional crutch is a very, very bad idea. I find that after a stressful day, a couple of beers can help you relax, but trying to use it to deal any emotional problems is no good.

I think that we here in the UK have a much more relaxed attitude to drink than many people in the US (if anyone had tried to introduce a prohibition law here, they would have been lynched!). Even so, there are frequent stories in the papers these days about young people 'binge drinking' too much. I don't actually think they are much worse than myself and my friends were about a dozen years ago, but the difference now is that they tend to drink 'alcopops' rather than beer. The big worry is about girls binge drinking - the sugary alcopops appeal to girls more and, of course, women are much less capable of breaking down alcohol than men.

I can't see anything wrong with people not wanting to drink but I must admit I can't help feeling a bit suspicious about tee-totallers!

 

[Nite_Hawk]

Yes, my views are radically different from apparently a large number of posters here. I'm almost shocked that I am the only person defending drinking here in this thread... I've witnessed more people today talk down drinking than I have in real life in a very very long time. I assume maybe it's the people I am around in real life... Which isn't really a bad thing... Most of the people I see are generally easy on the eyes.

Your not the only one, but it's pointless to get in arguements with people over it, and we should be more concerned with helping Paul out than arguing with Joe or Tahir about drunk driving. It really has nothing to do with Paul's problem and is off-topic.

Nite_Hawk

 

[Tahir2]

Nitehawk I was not arguing about drink driving as the only facet of alcohol abuse. My point was the opposite in fact - drink driving fatality is a small percentage of the total amount of fatalities alcohol causes in the US. I left it up to Paul and surfhurleydude to make up their own conclusions based on this data.

My main concern was that alcohol consumption can lead to problems and therefore it was not off topic at all in my opinion. It was and still is aimed at helping Paul out and I tried my best to give Paul some direct advice earlier, and others have given the same advice. Whether it is the right advice for Paul only he knows...

I hope that I have made myself clear.

 

[Nite_Hawk]

Nitehawk I was not arguing about drink driving as the only facet of alcohol abuse. My point was the opposite in fact - drink driving fatality is a small percentage of the total amount of fatalities alcohol causes in the US. I left it up to Paul and surfhurleydude to make up their own conclusions based on this data.

My main concern was that alcohol consumption can lead to problems and therefore it was not off topic at all in my opinion. It was and still is aimed at helping Paul out and I tried my best to give Paul some direct advice earlier, and others have given the same advice. Whether it is the right advice for Paul only he knows...

I hope that I have made myself clear.

<shrug> I never said you posted off topic, just that arguing about drunk driving with you was. Why did you think my post was aimed at you?

Nite_Hawk