Help with a domestic situation on EB

[digitalwanderer]

You may not know this about me, but I have a dad who is a drunk. He comes home at about 4 every afternoon and starts to drink right then, every day of the week. He staggers around the house and sometimes he has emotional episodes. About a month back, We lost the remote to the TV in his room somehow. He got really mad and knock everything down and yelled at all of us. After about 5 minutes of this, I left and sat outside of the house for about 40 minutes. He's broken lots of glasses, coffee pots, the refridgerator, and other stuff. He's told me lots of times that he doesn't care at all about me or my sister. I have his credit card number now, so I'm gonna buy as much as possible with it. I won't get in trouble though; my mom gave the number to me in the first place. If he gets mad, I'm calling child services. Maybe they can get him away from me.

I know this a really unusual thing to post on a forum, but I just had to tell someone about it. I hope no one thinks I'm saying this for pity, or think that I'm lying; I just have to use EB as an outlet for talking about things that are happening to me, because I'm not a very commanding presence in real life. I'm not the person people usually listen to, because I have such a soft voice. Anyway, Thank you all for your time.

This was posted tonight by a 13 year old girl and I just don't know what to do/say, any advice?

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Well the first thing would be not to touch the credit card. Considering how well drink and violence go together I would not do anything that would even remotely piss him off. Even if shes not likely to get caught there is still the chance, not worth the risk.
If that is the mothers suggestion, she sounds just as irresponsible. Not sure what to do really though, does she have some aunties, uncles, grandparents that know of the situation and do not approve? Maybe she could move in with them.

 

[nintenho]

I'd say call the cops and live with the mother. She doesn't specifically say that there is any domestic violence so the cops probably can't take him away forever. Obviously the mother should get a divorce and get a restraining order.

 

[Sxotty]

Unfortunately you have no idea about the reality of the situation.

Obviously as they said the credit card number thing is stupid. Why would she want to "buy as much as possible"? What does she need to buy besides to just try and piss him off? If that is her goal then she needs to get over it because it is a stupid idea.

Anyway you can try to contact someone, but the chances are good it is just someone looking for attention. Ask your wife about it as well. She might be able to spot if there are inconsistencies in the way it is related that make it seem fake to her.

 

[digitalwanderer]

Right now I'm just working on gathering more info. I'm having a friend of mine who works at where she goes to school look into it for me.

 

[Cartoon Corpse]

i say, let her figure it out for herself. and don't use ANY of my taxdollars to do it.

seems EZPZ to me.

toxic relationship? TERMINATE it. and remember, the stuff in the bible about parents, as well as the things 'the man' (mass media) feeds you about 'family values' isn't really factual (lies). in fact this is a great opportunity to begin 'seeing' that obvious evidence around you. a boon to your future success would be to start thinking independantly as early as possible in life. shed a WHOLE NEW light on who you share the planet with! and where you want to go in your life!

it's a GOOD thing!

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

You aren't the only taxpayer in your country.

i say, let her figure it out for herself. and don't use ANY of my taxdollars to do it.

 

[Geo]

13 yr olds have been known to exaggerate, and/or make bids for attention with made up stories.

Not saying that's what's happening here, but never take a story like that at face value from someone you don't know well.

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

They'd have to be psychologically screwed up to do that to begin with,

13 yr olds have been known to exaggerate, and/or make bids for attention with made up stories.

Not saying that's what's happening here, but never take a story like that at face value from someone you don't know well.

 

[Cartoon Corpse]

You aren't the only taxpayer in your country.

DUH. and you study math?

the 'help' 'we' offer, is largely a scam. a very expensive taxpayer boondoogle trough fed at by lawyers, and 'experts', and doctors, and 'counselors'.

nature handles these things MUCH more efficiently.

she needs to weigh her options. whether her mom wants her (why is she with him anyway if he's made such statements)...whether she has any culpibility...is she a pain in the rear child? is she smart, talented, gifted?

instead of just slinging everything into the dad's court and expecting the taxpayer to somehow fix this, she should learn to make the necessary adjustments herself.

the us is becoming (more and more i think) a nation of dependant parasites. nature doesn't like that.

 

[_xxx_]

Inform yourself VERY good about the situation before doing anything, otherwise you might as well screw something up or cause problems in the first place.

 

[Guden Oden]

13 yr olds have been known to exaggerate, and/or make bids for attention with made up stories.

Yeah, and maybe we should wait to get some corroborative evidence there's actually a fire when someone calls rescue services and says their place's burning. I mean, it could just be a hoax, so sending out trucks and ambulances and everything might be a huge waste.

 

[Geo]

Yeah, and maybe we should wait to get some corroborative evidence there's actually a fire when someone calls rescue services and says their place's burning. I mean, it could just be a hoax, so sending out trucks and ambulances and everything might be a huge waste.

Right. And if someone calls the authorities and says I saw Guden waving a gun around in his house through the window, then obviously the authorities should use a pocket nuke with a containing forcefield to reduce your household to its component atoms without harming the neighbors. Without checking it out first, of course.

I mean, if the game is ridiculous extremes, let's all play.

 

[Jabbah]

I would say be sympathetic, give emotional support but dont give any advice other than go and talk to a teacher or councilor at school.

 

[digitalwanderer]

I would say be sympathetic, give emotional support but dont give any advice other than go and talk to a teacher or councilor at school.

Bingo, at least until there are more developments.

 

[Cartoon Corpse]

Yeah, and maybe we should wait to get some corroborative evidence there's actually a fire when someone calls rescue services and says their place's burning. I mean, it could just be a hoax, so sending out trucks and ambulances and everything might be a huge waste.

this isn't a fire. obviously. this sort of thing happens all over all the time. only now we have a bunch of phoney opportunists pretending they can fix it....VERY expensively.

 

[FUDie]

i say, let her figure it out for herself. and don't use ANY of my taxdollars to do it.

The world doesn't revolve around you. A 13 year old child doesn't have the experience to handle such a situation. Also, they don't even have the legal authority to do anything themselves as they are not adults. Hence, the cry for help.

seems EZPZ to me.

Everything does in your simplistic view of the world. Of course, you've never been right about anything, so it's EZPZ to understand your response.

toxic relationship? TERMINATE it.

And how does a 13 year old child do this? Where will she live? How will she eat? Hello? Anyone home in that miniscule brain of yours?

I know! Tell her to run away from home and become a child prostitute! Hey, it doesn't harm me so what do I care? If that's your point of view, then you need to become a bit less self-centered and join the human race.

and remember, the stuff in the bible about parents, as well as the things 'the man' (mass media) feeds you about 'family values' isn't really factual (lies). in fact this is a great opportunity to begin 'seeing' that obvious evidence around you. a boon to your future success would be to start thinking independantly as early as possible in life. shed a WHOLE NEW light on who you share the planet with! and where you want to go in your life!

it's a GOOD thing!

What does this rambling have to do with the topic at hand? A 13 year old child is asking for help, and your response is "figure it out yourself"? Obviously, this is a situation that most 13 year olds won't have to deal with and, hence, is not covered in school. I hope you don't breed.

Libertarians can't really be as stupid as you appear to be.

-FUDie

 

[digitalwanderer]

Ah, I can't thank you all enough for your thoughts. Pax is right, the church is a great place for support. And, I forgot to add this I think, My mom told my dad a few months ago that she was leaving him as soon as she can buy a new house. She already has a little piece of land a few miles away bought, so I'm going to move in with her as soon as we build a house there.
He's not just your average drunk; he's basically insane when he's drunk. He doesn't remember what he does when he's drunk, of course. I see him everyday and stuff, but I havent given him a hug or said "I love you" in about... a year and a half, I'd say. I do talk to my mom about this, by the way. All of the love I've lost towards my father I've focused towards my mom, really. She's amazing, and I'm saying that because she's my mom. She's given me everything that matters- my charisma, eloquence, intelligence, creativity, manners, kindness... musical style! I owe her a lot, definitely.
I think my dad's aloofness(sp?) is the reason I always talk to adults, usually men (Mr. Spurgeon the reading teacher, Mr. Symons the music teacher, Principal Wilcox, even Quinny!). I might be subconsiously trying to fill the space between me and my father with another man. Not that I really want any of these folks to be my father, I just need an adult male role model, as well as a female one(my mom).

And about the credit card, there is a big difference between use and abuse. He should have to at least buy me clothing; he is my parent. I promise that I'll use his card, not abuse it. All I plan on buying for now are 2 pairs of jeans and a Bob Dylan T-shirt I've had my eye on for quite a while.

Thank you again, everyone. I posted this late last night, and I was feeling rather low, but I'm glad I did. Ah, I feel so much better now!

Not exactly "resolved", but the post made me feel better.

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

WOW you're a mind reader.
You can tell the family's entire story from across the Internet.
You are really amazing.
Can you read my life story as well?

DUH. and you study math?

the 'help' 'we' offer, is largely a scam. a very expensive taxpayer boondoogle trough fed at by lawyers, and 'experts', and doctors, and 'counselors'.

nature handles these things MUCH more efficiently.

she needs to weigh her options. whether her mom wants her (why is she with him anyway if he's made such statements)...whether she has any culpibility...is she a pain in the rear child? is she smart, talented, gifted?

instead of just slinging everything into the dad's court and expecting the taxpayer to somehow fix this, she should learn to make the necessary adjustments herself.

the us is becoming (more and more i think) a nation of dependant parasites. nature doesn't like that.

 

[DudeMiester]

If I was going to be insensitive, then I'd just tell her to kill herself. It's more straighforward then a lot of BS about tax dollers, phycologists being scammers or assuming that 13 year olds are completely rational people. Although, if that's what one thinks is correct, then perhaps one should join Scientology. The philosophies are remarkably similar, and neurotic.