Does marriage make one more responsible?
- Thread starter Deepak
- Start date
Yupp, "there is no news." But I am not worried, even in worst case scnerio I am bound to get one.
I want to say "NO!" so bad my teeth hurt, but I don't think it'd be truthful.
I did become a lot more responsible after I got married, but only because I took/take my wedding vows rather seriously. I signed up for a lifetime partnership with her, I feel I can't let her down so I try hard not to.
When the kids come along you'll rise to that occasion too, it's the nature of the beast.
You become more responsible when you choose to share your life with someone else, it's a bloody lot of responsibility.
I did become a lot more responsible after I got married, but only because I took/take my wedding vows rather seriously. I signed up for a lifetime partnership with her, I feel I can't let her down so I try hard not to.
When the kids come along you'll rise to that occasion too, it's the nature of the beast.
You become more responsible when you choose to share your life with someone else, it's a bloody lot of responsibility.
If marriage made a person more responsible then the divorce rate wouldn't be around 50% of all married couples.
It's not. This is oft quoted but not substantiated at all.
Are 50% of the people you know divorced?
Most studies indicate under 20%
Overall population figures and divorce rate figures are different things of course. Plus couples who haven't got divorced haven't got divorced yet. Basically -- you read in to the figures whatever you want to prove. The studies I've seen suggest there's a generational difference, ie. divorce rate amongst the 30-somethings is higher than amongst the 60/70-somethings.
My parents are divorced, my mothers new man is divorced, my girlfriend is divorced, my best mate is divorced, my best mates ex-wife is divorced (ya rly!), another mates girlfriend is divorced. Two of my mates are still married (three years so far), the rest are all single (and in their 30's and 40's).
So, yeah. Of the people I know who've entered marriage, the majority have become unmarried.
Both of my parents are one of six. That's 12 people. All of them have been married, and all but my mom has been divorced. Even my dad was before meeting my mom, though my parents have been together going on almost 25 years now. On average I would almost say that more than 50% of the people I know who have been married have been divorced.
As far as marriage making one more responsible? Not really. For some it might, but I'm going to say that typically it does not make someone more responsible. Kids? More so than marriage, but again its not like their is some fact that once you have kids you become more responsible.
As far as marriage making one more responsible? Not really. For some it might, but I'm going to say that typically it does not make someone more responsible. Kids? More so than marriage, but again its not like their is some fact that once you have kids you become more responsible.
Kind of shocking, I have never heard of below 20%. I am not doubting you of course, but you got me back to checking numbers again (always nice to go back over something like this which is commonly quoted). After a little digging and looking at the per capita divorse rate it at least appears that it definately is above 20%.
These numbers are for marriages and need to be doubled as they represent disolved marriages, hence the 1991 figure of .47% equals .96% of the population. If the average life expectancy is 70 years, and assuming the statistics only surveyed marriage eligable people (i.e. 18 and above in most cases), over a 50 year period it does appear that ~ 50% seems reasonable. This seems inline with projections from the Census Bureau, although some places place it slightly lower:
Most of the statistics I can find back up this general ballpark. e.g. DivorceMag.com
In general these statistics seem to be backed up by a lot of different studies. Although sample size, location, and sample range (many studies look at a fixed time, like % divorses in a 10 year period) generate some discrepancies, in general almost all the statistics back up a general trend of ~ 40-50% divorse for first time marriages and significantly higher for 2nd and 3rd marriages.
You mention "most studies" -- I would be really interested in these studies. Always fun to compare statistics and methodology and seeing how they arrive at their conclusions. As they say: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics...
Edit: After seeing the comments... I guess semantics and intention. Of course 50% of people are not actively divorced, i.e. they have remaried. But I think Powder was referring to the fact that 50% of marriages *end* in divorce, which seems to be backed up by a lot of facts.
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Of course, all personal testimony is annecdotal, since people will tend to remember the divorces, and not the ones that stick together:
But, speaking of my family, I can say that around 50% or more (on average). My side of the family seems to be pretty 'stable'(maybe 10-20% divorced), but my wife's side has done a lot of divorcing (with almost all of her aunts/uncles being divorced at least once, and her parents, both remarrying divorcees).
And, for a splash of color, my cousin killed her husband in self defense(and spend a few years in prison for it). My wife's grandfather is suspected of killing his mother. Oh, and a friend of mine is a 2nd cousin (or so) relation of Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde fame). What that has to do with divorce is anybody's guess, but I thought I'd share.
But, speaking of my family, I can say that around 50% or more (on average). My side of the family seems to be pretty 'stable'(maybe 10-20% divorced), but my wife's side has done a lot of divorcing (with almost all of her aunts/uncles being divorced at least once, and her parents, both remarrying divorcees).
And, for a splash of color, my cousin killed her husband in self defense(and spend a few years in prison for it). My wife's grandfather is suspected of killing his mother. Oh, and a friend of mine is a 2nd cousin (or so) relation of Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde fame). What that has to do with divorce is anybody's guess, but I thought I'd share.
Holidays at the Schultz home must be... interesting. I am guessing you put out plastic knives for the extended family
Heh. That branch of the family lives up in the northwest, so I actually don't think I've EVER seen that particular cousin. (Or at least not that I can remember). My wife's grandfather hasn't been seen for over a decade, so he's presumed to have died also.Holidays at the Schultz home must be... interesting. I am guessing you put out plastic knives for the extended family
Though, her other grandfather is starting to get a bit of dementia, and it exhibits itself as strange rambling letters to all the aunts/uncles about how one aunt or another is plotting to get him. If it weren't so depressing a topic, they're actually pretty funny based on their content and colorful language ("two faced jezebel", for example).
Exlain that. Each divorce produced TWO per capitas. It needs to be halved.
According to the link (and their numbers from the US Census) the statistic is a raw divorces per 1000 capita. e.g. If you have 1000 people, and 4 divorces, that affects 8 people as every single divorse affects 2 people. The raw numbers drive this direction as well; e.g. in 2000 there were 957,200 divorces in the US (not counting California, Louisiana, Indiana, and Colorado). When subtracting the population of those states and then dividing the raw # of divorces (not divorcee) by the remaining population arrives at their .41% (or 4.1 out of every 1000) number. So we can either double the .41% /or/ we can double the 957,200 divorses to arrive at the number of divorced couples (i.e., about 2M). When account for the large "under 18" population (25%) and an average life expectancy in the 70-77 range, I think the annual rate of divorces can be extrapolated to a 40-50% divorce rate in ones lifetime. Of course I could be reading this all wrong
The same page links to a number of official projections from the Census Bureau (the source for the above divorces per capita), National Center of Health Statistics, and New York Times that all end up in the same 40-50% range, indicating this is the correct way to interpret the data, but you never know. Anyhow, a lot of studies arrive at this similar range of numbers, so I am not sure most arrive at a 20% rate. Maybe 20% currently divorsed, nor remarried among certain demographics?
I just took a parenting class for divorced parents (I'm divorced) and they debunked the 50% divorce rate thoroughly and blamed Oprah and Dr. Phil for the propagation of one flawed study. I'll have to dig it out.
I'm 39 and only have one other couple-friend that is divorced. Chock up 30+ married couples.
The 60% of remarriages is true (according to this class).
I'm 39 and only have one other couple-friend that is divorced. Chock up 30+ married couples.
The 60% of remarriages is true (according to this class).
