Chalnoth said:If you want to learn GR, the only realistic way would be to take graduate courses in mathematics or physics (which require either an undergraduate degree in mathematics or physics to understand, or just being very good at math and/or having an excellent professor).
Having learned it in the above way, I don't know whether or not it would be possible to learn from just books. You could, of course, attempt to learn from one of the GR texts that is out there (Sean Carroll has a good one), but those will set you back quite a bit of cash, and would probably be very hard to understand without a strong physics background.
One reason why GR math is so challenging is just due to the large number of equations and parameters. We write these equations in tensor form, so that they are relatively simple to write down, but actually doing calculations with 3rd-rank tensors is very cumbersome and requires you to be very precise about your mathematics (I remember taking an entire weekend to derive the Friedmann equations for the first time from the FRW metric with constant spatial curvature, and that's one of the simplest problems you can do).
Granted, I've never done numerical GR solving, so in principle that might be easier, as you don't have to deal with the cumbersome algebra, but you still have to deal with cumbersome algebraic manipulations regardless.
You're over simplifying - the Universe is beer bottled shaped