Oh noes! It's time for one of THOSE again! (This time about PD0.)

[Guden Oden]

Yes boys and girls, it's a GUDEN RANT THREAD! So in other words, Don't Read If You Can't Handle Rants. And don't friggin reply either. Aright? Just close your eyes and fumble for the browser back button...



I just finished with PD0. Not, like, finished PD0. Actually it's more a case of the game being finished, because I smashed the DVD. Then I smashed the stupid fucking plastic and tin case it came in, just in case I'd go insane(r) later on and decide to maybe keep it for old times' sake or something.

This game has to be the biggest, worstest pile of god damn POOP I have ever played. Well, for a couple years anyway. I can't think of a single redeeming thing to say about this utter debacle. The graphics isn't good, the music is terrible - particulary the track during the james bondy ripoff intro movie is so amateurishly bad and the singing so untalented that I just want to go out and strangle some little old lady or something. Further, to add insult to injury the controls are worse than horrible, and the framerate is so utterly cack it's nearly impossible to aim. In fact, one could well believe this noxious mix of tripe and dung was running on the nintendo64, the uber shitty framerate is really giving me some strong and unpleasant flashbacks from "the bad old days". Add to all this the unbelievably dumb weapons. Why have a rocket launcher that almost totally obstructs the right side of my view just for starters?

It doesn't matter if one has a CPU capable of executing upwards of twenty billion instructions/sec if one can't program worth a damn, and in fact I believe a team of slightly trained chimpanzees could have done a better job coding, and even more so, DESIGNING this game.

Everybody who worked on this glorious pap ought to have their eyes stapled open and then be forced to watch Police Academy movies until they cry like little girls, this has to be the turkey of the year. Maybe decade. Better yet, millennium.

I don't feel stupid for having flushed SKR650 down the toilet by wrecking the game, in fact it feels like I did the world a favor by not returning it and having some other unlucky sod buying it in my place. Instead, I feel stupid for being such a flaming eejit that I bought the pile of shite in the first place. I knew it was rare who made it. I knew the original was uninspired to say the least, why oh why then did I not realize the follow-up would be so much worse?

So to finish off this, erm, review, on a traditional 0-10 scale I'd rate rare's masterpiece a solid -19. And a half. Well done rare lads, even for a group of has-beens and never-wases, you've exceeded yourselves. Now kindly pack yourselves into a bus and drive over the edge of a cliff. Thank you!

And just in case you think this rant's just a big bunch of BS, please consider that Tycho doesn't like this game either. So there.

Alright. I'm done now. You can come out from wherever you're hiding, things are back to normal now.

 

[Hardknock]

A post I made on a seperate board:

Perfect Dark Zero >>>>>>>>>>> Halo 2

Seriously I haven't had this much fun with a console FPS since Goldeneye in the N64 days. While Halo 2's multiplayer is good, the single player was such a boring POS with the same repititive battle scenarios I found myself falling asleep half the time. PDZ on the other hand feels so fresh in comparision. It has more variety and more weapons than any FPS in existence and each one has a kickass secondary function(some even an extra 3rd funtion) that range from: cloaking, holograms, grenade launchers, turrents, silencers, pyschosis, richochet shots, deflection shields, x-ray vision and more.

Each level has a completely different environment from lush jungles, to night clubs and vast city scapes. There's always a new environment to explore. Each level has all new objectives aswell, not the typical run-and-gun and clear out a room of most shooters today. There are even multiple ways to tackle each objective, sometimes you can be quite overwhelmed with the options available. On one particular level (Subway | Retrieval) I had the otion of shooting out all the camaras and head sniping all the guards from around corners or traveling through the air ducts to get past the guards and bypassing the camaras in the process, or I could hi-jack a fork-lift and have it programmed to plow through the level while I shot down all the guards from behind it's protection until it busted open the doors. Or I could just simply take the more subdued approach and choose to pick the locks myself and sneak in. All these options have never been available in a FPS before, each time I replayed a level I saw something new happen :rock

The controls: while some find them overly difficult, I find them a godsend. No more of the spam fests that is the auto-aiming of Halo 2. You need to be skilled and be able to properly aim in order to get kills in this game. I would almost liken it to the Ninja Gaiden of FPSs. When you die you know it was your fault and you can continually see yourself improving. The roll is surprisingly useful for dodging and other features such as being able to 'cover' behind walls and being able to steal others weapons add so much strategy to the multiplayer component. There's been much debate over the exclusion of jumping but I honestly didn't miss it at all, any object that you normally would have jumped over in Halo 2 or any other game, all you have to do is approach it and Joanna will automatically scale over it.

Graphics are freaking amazing, don't judge this game by the official screens that have been released. Texture quality is impeccable and b***h slaps any current top-of-the-line PC game out. Joanna's animations are superb especially her reloading and cover animations. Sure there are some problems, like screen tearing and the not so impressive character models once you get upclose. But you'll be hard pressed to find a better looking game anywhere else. Period.

Here's some more accurate pictures of the game while not overtly realistic the game has a very unique and interesting almost anime style:

If you are even semi interested in FPSs or loved the original Goldeneye and Perfect Dark I strongly suggest checking this game out or even giving it a rental. Top-notch game from beginning to end, and while maybe not the most 'next-gen' game available it's definitely one of the most fun, and isn't that what games are all about in the first place?

 

[Bill]

I'm finding it fairly fun, but I get what Guden is saying.

It's fairly frustrating. But just fun enough to keep me trudging on so far.

But yeah, it can be frustrating. And I just dont like the style of the game, graphics, etc.

 

[mckmas8808]

Hey Hardknock I love your screenshots of you playing the Xbox 360 games. Keep taking them and please post more please.

Thanks.

 

[jvd]

while solo play isn't hte best , just average , its the multiplayer that is extremely fun.


GUden you seem to have alot of rants when it comes to the 360

 

[scificube]

PDZero is going back the very day DO4 arrives as a trade-in. I've enjoyed King Kong more and that's a crying shame IMO.

I hope that the latter levels really are the joyfest those on Ign's X360 gameboard say they are or I'll feel like you...a complete fool for buying this game minus all the "angry" of course.

edit:

And damn is Joanna farking ugly or what...F.U.B.A.R. where's my dictionary...buttherface...yep! There's her picture! [shudders]
I'm not into videogame vixens and all that but yeesh!

 

[fearsomepirate]

I thought that strangely, the 1up review read like a review of a 7.5 game, but the review score clearly said "9.0." Weird.

 

[scificube]

I thought that strangely, the 1up review read like a review of a 7.5 game, but the review score clearly said "9.0." Weird.

I still haven't found the game 1up was playing

 

[DeathKnight]

I guess you're falling for all of it hook-line-and-sinker, eh Guden?

Sell the console already. I'm sure there's a much more worthwhile home for it out there with someone who will actually get enjoyment out of it. I seriously don't understand people who purchase a product and are so disatisfied with it, but refuse to return it and would rather keep it so they can continue to whine and complain about how disatisfied they are with it.

Oh, and the "disclaimer" isn't some kind of immunity.

 

[Tap In]

whoa

 

[Guden Oden]

GUden you seem to have alot of rants when it comes to the 360

No, not really I'd say. It's the crappy initial games, not the console. Trying to be patient, but it's hard when the only worthwile launch title was pushed back (forward's more like it, but meh) some four months.

And deathknight, get a life will ya? I'm not selling the console, get over yourself already. It's not my fault you can't handle vocal criticism. Soon I'll have to name you my official cyberstalker, heh!

At least I can still enjoy GW. If I do badly I can't blame anyone but myself (though I do like to try...), that game is feckin razor sharp. If only PD0 had had half the smoothness and precision of that game my frustration level with it would have been a lot less.

Hoping GW3 brings some cool glenz vectors to the table, that'd reeeeeally rock. Some nice flatshaded oldskool landscapes would be awesome too, fractal-generated and tesselated in realtime, mmm...

 

[Tap In]

I traded it for NBA 2k6.... a much
better game

CoD2 satisfies my offline and online FPS fix, nicely, thank you very much.

​

 

[jvd]

Well dude this is your second mostly negative rant against ms http://www.beyond3d.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26230

First it was the hardware at launch and now its the games .

 

[Guden Oden]

Dude, it's not my problem you thought that post was "mostly negative" and a "rant". FYI, it was neither.

 

[jvd]

Dude, it's not my problem you thought that post was "mostly negative" and a "rant". FYI, it was neither.

I see , oh well , guess you and i have diffrent views on the meaning of a rant . Of course one would ask why you said "Oh noes! It's time for one of THOSE again!" in your title . But that is not a conversation for this forum and I will simply stay away from your posts from now on

 

[hey69]

Thanx for the info guden, now i will rent it instead of buying it. try before you buy

if it wasnt for the complete lack of nice games beside pgr3, hm maybe i'l buy kingkong isntead.. (how is that game anyway?)

 

[Sean*O]

Very creative analysis, in a hateful sort of way. Thanks for the laughs

 

[Shifty Geezer]

Yes boys and girls, it's a GUDEN RANT THREAD!Alright. I'm done

Is there any other type of Guden thread?

now. You can come out from wherever you're hiding, things are back to normal now.

This IS normal!

 

[London Geezer]

Maybe you need some help...? All this anger can't be good for your coronaries...

 

[Qroach]

I know you blame the games, but i think it's more you than then games guden. Perhaps you should give up on console gaming with all that anger of yours. You're obvious not pleased with that xbox 360 or any games, and I can't say I agree with any of your views. The only time I was ever mad enough to smash a game was on the super nintendo (Clay fighter) and that was only becuase the game was cheating and made it impossible to beat the last boss. I wasn't dumb enough to "break" or smash the game, I sold it and used the money to buy something better. the fact you say you broke the disk and smashed the game tells me that you simply aren't thinking straight.

Your post was funny though, but imo in a kinda sad way.