Movie Reviews 2.0

After somewhat enjoying the previous Monarch monster movies for what they were, I really did not enjoy Godzilla vs Kong at all. The storyline was just stupid in every aspect but that's often needing to be overshadowed by the monster fight scenes, as you would hope. However, those scenes weren't impressive either and did not contain the sense of scale or dread of the previous movies. I think camera angles played a big part with lack of scale.

The overall speed of the monsters belied their size, I think they moved too fast and agile that what I previously enjoyed. Additionally, the scenes were too brightly lit and lacked some of the obscurity which really help sell the scenes previously. Especially Hong Kong which was full of colored lighting everywhere. The combination made the fight scenes look and feel like something from Power Rangers.
Watched this last night.

CGI was top notch. Plot was terribly nonsensical from start to finish.

So they need to get Kong to Antarctica, and decide to take him by boat despite being afraid from the beginning of the movie that he'd be attacked by Godzilla. Godzilla attacks and destroys the entire fleet, after which they have the brilliant idea of taking him by air.. WTF1 why didn't he go by air from the start?
Then they get to Antarctica because Apex Industries didn't know the way to Hollow Earth, but then as Kong is moving towards the "portal" we see human constructions built by Apex right until he reaches the portal itself. WTF2?
Then at Hollow Earth Kong goes straight to some megalithic constructions that no one questions who/how they were built, not to mention no one batting an eye to them losing an hovercraft to the monsters right at the beginning because it didn't have main characters inside. WTF3?
And then we see Mechagodzilla being controlled by some sort of telepathic link created from Gidorah's erm.. skull? I mean the skull is the part with the telepathic link properties? WTF4?
And then Kong is at his "temple", no one else is around, the Apex spider robot takes a tiny sample of some material that was abundant in that room but that somehow causes the entire structure to ruin . WTF5?
Then Godzilla goes to Hong Kong and starts shooting is mouth laser downwards, which apparently drills the Earth's crust down to exactly where Kong's temple was in Hollow Earth. Not only is Godzilla able to pinpoint the exact location from the vertical distance of tens of thousands of kilometers, the movie forgot they needed to get to Hollow Earth through portals, WTF6.
And Hong Kong is exactly where MechaGodzilla was situated, and I mean the coincidence is such that MechaGodzilla was being stored just a couple hundred meters away from the point Godzilla chose to laser-mouth-drill the Earth's crust to reach King Kong's temple thing. WTF7?

The thing just goes on and on. I'm pretty sure I could get to WTF99 if I put my heart into it.

Who does even greenlight this convoluted mess of a plot, and in what step of the production pipeline? Do they actively research ways to insert plot hole after plot hole in movies that cost hundreds of millions to make? What's the point?
Why couldn't they make a movie with an even tangentially structured plot? It's a monster movie, I'm not even very demanding.. but geez this thing does get out of their way to become nonsensical. It's like a collage of "cool scenes" the director wanted to shoot/render, and they then put a 5 year-old in charge of coming up with quick ideas to glue these cool scenes together.




omg its almost midnight here and im giggling like a ghost
How do ghosts giggle?
 
So I watched Tenet last night and maybe I just wasn’t in the mood but quite honestly I have never sat through something I understood less than this movie, ever.

Watched a YouTube video or two and I get it now but I must say, this one was a big miss from Nolan.

Also, had to watch with subtitles cause I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. And I still found it hard to follow.

Meh.
 
So I watched Tenet last night and maybe I just wasn’t in the mood but quite honestly I have never sat through something I understood less than this movie, ever.

Have you noticed the site you've been hanging around the last 20 years actually is about 3D graphics?

Sorry.

Obligatory topic related content: Thunder Force has to be the biggest turkey ever with such cast. Ben Falcone & Melissa McCarthy - stamp of quality.
 
The Ice Road... Who wrote this moronic drivel? Seriously one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Completely nonsensical and the acting and delivery is just woeful. Belongs in the same realm as Fast and Furious stupidity.
 
So I watched Tenet last night and maybe I just wasn’t in the mood but quite honestly I have never sat through something I understood less than this movie, ever.

Watched a YouTube video or two and I get it now but I must say, this one was a big miss from Nolan.

Also, had to watch with subtitles cause I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. And I still found it hard to follow.

Meh.
I watched Tenet and understood what they were going for right off, it's just they kept breaking all their own rules about how it worked and continuity and such.

If you have time travel in a movie it HAS to obey the rules, otherwise it's just a deus ex machina. Tenet wasn't even that, it was a bad joke.
 
I watched Tenet and understood what they were going for right off, it's just they kept breaking all their own rules about how it worked and continuity and such.

If you have time travel in a movie it HAS to obey the rules, otherwise it's just a deus ex machina. Tenet wasn't even that, it was a bad joke.

Could you give any examples?
 
Sure, FAQ about Time Travel got it pretty accurate. If you're talking about Tenet then the whole "matter moving backwards through time" thing doesn't work and they use it paradoxically throughout the movie.
 
Oh my god that whole thing about the inverted bullets made ZERO sense
its pretty hard to grasp, but oddly enough if you use a spreadsheet it makes sense.
time 0: walking 1 metre to my car
time 1: starting my car
time 2: driving to hotel
time 3: unpacking luggage
time 4: going to airport
time 5: flying to country:
time 6: landing in country
time 7: shuttle to tenet inversion place
time 8: walk through inversion place
(now we are advancing the storyline forward, backwards through time)
time 7: shooting a gun at wall
time 6: bullet hits the wall
time 5: bullets explode against wall

etc and so forth.

Now that all of the forward and backwards is written out, now you have to play both timelines at the time same
so now we have
time 5: I'm simultaneously flying to a country while the bullets are exploding from a cement wall
time 6: landing in the country, the bullet just hits the wall
time 7: shuttling now to the tenet inversion place, the bullet is now flying back into the gun
time 8: I meet at the time inversion place and stare at my other self on the other side.

ie Tenet deals with 2 forms of time inversion, where most movies deal with going back in time once. Tenet adds 1 additional layer, which is that you cannot just jump back in time. Time is like a VCR tape, you rewind backwards or play forwards. But even though you are reversing the tape or playing it forward (ie, the inversion machines) there is 1 ultimately timeline that is still overseeing it all (the viewers timeline), and that is always playing forward (as the viewer watches the movie in both forward and reverse and forward again from where the movie reversed)

Most movies when they go back in time, you jump back to a part of the movie and play forward. Tenet has that weird part where it's not allowed to just jump back in time and play forward. It's VCR reversing back into time and in order to go forward in time, you must step through the inversion machine to play forward again, and then you are now playing forward but back in time.
 
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its pretty hard to grasp, but oddly enough if you use a spreadsheet it makes sense.
time 0: walking 1 metre to my car
time 1: starting my car
time 2: driving to hotel
time 3: unpacking luggage
time 4: going to airport
time 5: flying to country:
time 6: landing in country
time 7: shuttle to tenet inversion place
time 8: walk through inversion place
(now we are advancing the storyline forward, backwards through time)
time 7: shooting a gun at wall
time 6: bullet hits the wall
time 5: bullets explode against wall

etc and so forth.

Now that all of the forward and backwards is written out, now you have to play both timelines at the time same
so now we have
time 5: I'm simultaneously flying to a country while the bullets are exploding from a cement wall
time 6: landing in the country, the bullet just hits the wall
time 7: shuttling now to the tenet inversion place, the bullet is now flying back into the gun
time 8: I meet at the time inversion place and stare at my other self on the other side.

ie Tenet deals with 2 forms of time inversion, where most movies deal with going back in time once. Tenet adds 1 additional layer, which is that you cannot just jump back in time. Time is like a VCR tape, you rewind backwards or play forwards. But even though you are reversing the tape or playing it forward (ie, the inversion machines) there is 1 ultimately timeline that is still overseeing it all (the viewers timeline), and that is always playing forward (as the viewer watches the movie in both forward and reverse and forward again from where the movie reversed)

Most movies when they go back in time, you jump back to a part of the movie and play forward. Tenet has that weird part where it's not allowed to just jump back in time and play forward. It's VCR reversing back into time and in order to go forward in time, you must step through the inversion machine to play forward again, and then you are now playing forward but back in time.

Still doesn’t make sense. The bullet was shot from another gun and is “inverted”. Ok fair enough. Yet they pick it up and play with it like normal, and it shoots back into a gun that was never there in the bullet’s timeline.
So it’s inverted only when convenient, ie when it needs to look cool that it shoots backward into a gun that isn’t inverted? Makes no sense and you can’t convince me otherwise.
 
Still doesn’t make sense. The bullet was shot from another gun and is “inverted”. Ok fair enough. Yet they pick it up and play with it like normal, and it shoots back into a gun that was never there in the bullet’s timeline.
So it’s inverted only when convenient, ie when it needs to look cool that it shoots backward into a gun that isn’t inverted? Makes no sense and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Lol. It’s a bit of a mirror effect at the moment of the gun shot.
So the gun is inverted and every second it stays inverted it’s travelling forwards in the reverse direction of time in perpetuity.
So here we go.
Time 0; pick up inverted gun
Time 1: aim inverted gun
Time 2: shoot inverted gun
— pause — what we expect to happen
Time 3: bullet leaves gun
Time 4: bullet enters walls
Time 5: bullet explodes the wall


Okay so the moment I say pause is exactly the flip point or the mirror point, this is where the current timeline has interacted with something inverted.

so because the gun is inverted it lives forward through time in reverse. So we must reverse the steps for the gun. So the next order of steps will have to be step 5, then step 4, then step 3 until they meet at pause, the moment the trigger is pulled.
In this case you would see that bullet being pulled from the wall re-entering the gun because the ammo and the gun are all living in the inverted timeline.
 
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