Movie Reviews 2.0

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dresden, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. eloyc

    Veteran Regular

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    Great, now you play the victim... Is that another nasty role-play shit of yours? Stop it!
     
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  2. orangpelupa

    orangpelupa Elite Bug Hunter
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    omg its almost midnight here and im giggling like a ghost
     
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  3. DSoup

    DSoup meh
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    I want to second this one.

    The comparison to John Wick is understandable because it was written by Derek Kolstad, the writer of John Wick. :yep2:
     
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  4. ToTTenTranz

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    Watched this last night.

    CGI was top notch. Plot was terribly nonsensical from start to finish.

    So they need to get Kong to Antarctica, and decide to take him by boat despite being afraid from the beginning of the movie that he'd be attacked by Godzilla. Godzilla attacks and destroys the entire fleet, after which they have the brilliant idea of taking him by air.. WTF1 why didn't he go by air from the start?
    Then they get to Antarctica because Apex Industries didn't know the way to Hollow Earth, but then as Kong is moving towards the "portal" we see human constructions built by Apex right until he reaches the portal itself. WTF2?
    Then at Hollow Earth Kong goes straight to some megalithic constructions that no one questions who/how they were built, not to mention no one batting an eye to them losing an hovercraft to the monsters right at the beginning because it didn't have main characters inside. WTF3?
    And then we see Mechagodzilla being controlled by some sort of telepathic link created from Gidorah's erm.. skull? I mean the skull is the part with the telepathic link properties? WTF4?
    And then Kong is at his "temple", no one else is around, the Apex spider robot takes a tiny sample of some material that was abundant in that room but that somehow causes the entire structure to ruin . WTF5?
    Then Godzilla goes to Hong Kong and starts shooting is mouth laser downwards, which apparently drills the Earth's crust down to exactly where Kong's temple was in Hollow Earth. Not only is Godzilla able to pinpoint the exact location from the vertical distance of tens of thousands of kilometers, the movie forgot they needed to get to Hollow Earth through portals, WTF6.
    And Hong Kong is exactly where MechaGodzilla was situated, and I mean the coincidence is such that MechaGodzilla was being stored just a couple hundred meters away from the point Godzilla chose to laser-mouth-drill the Earth's crust to reach King Kong's temple thing. WTF7?

    The thing just goes on and on. I'm pretty sure I could get to WTF99 if I put my heart into it.

    Who does even greenlight this convoluted mess of a plot, and in what step of the production pipeline? Do they actively research ways to insert plot hole after plot hole in movies that cost hundreds of millions to make? What's the point?
    Why couldn't they make a movie with an even tangentially structured plot? It's a monster movie, I'm not even very demanding.. but geez this thing does get out of their way to become nonsensical. It's like a collage of "cool scenes" the director wanted to shoot/render, and they then put a 5 year-old in charge of coming up with quick ideas to glue these cool scenes together.




    How do ghosts giggle?
     
  5. BRiT

    BRiT (>• •)>⌐■-■ (⌐■-■)
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    I image it sounds something like this:

     
  6. Malo

    Malo Yak Mechanicum
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    Do you watch Pitch Meetings? Enjoy

     
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  7. BRiT

    BRiT (>• •)>⌐■-■ (⌐■-■)
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    About WW'84 --

     
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