I lack responsibility and motivation
- Thread starter weaksauce
- Start date
Offhand I'd say it's growing up, it's a bitch...that's why I avoided it. 
Beholdereye
Newcomer
Got a job and woman that holds me down when I get a bit antsy. Generally it's the woman the helps the most
I wonder if Genmay is a symptom or the cause.
I'm a member but I hardly visit. :smile:
You don't want to follow my path, I made it interesting....I'm just glad I survived it!Yeah I've been thinking that growing up sucks. I don't think I've had enough fun, been missing out too much. :smile:
How did you manage?
Best advice I can give is to hang in there and keep at it, it really does get better some day. It took until I was about 27 years old for me, but it did get better and has continued to do to.
I'd say you've identified the problem... I don't know you, so you could just be being hard on yoursefl, but... if you really want to change, just a couple things to it: hard work and unflagging honesty. Useful tools include taking notes, writing goals (concrete, measurable, achieveable goals) and setting strict timelines for them, talking to people regularly about them, and not ever accepting any excuses from yourself, nor seeking any scapegoats in the outside world. This doesn't mean beating yourself up over things -- everyone makes mistakes FREQUENTLY. But you have to develop a mindset of, everything I'm not doing to actively achieve my good and honest goals (including criticizing myself unconstructively, complaining to friends about my problems, despairing that the world isn't what I wish it was, giving up, taking benders without earning them first, etc) is wasted time. You'll soon be counting that time, every second, as it flies, flies away, so enjoy what you deserve, make a mentality of wanting only what you deserve, so you can enjoy it to its fullest, criticize yourself before others (but again, only in ways that are useful -- telling yourself you're an asshole does nothing. telling yourself what you DID that was wrong, and apologizing to the people who deserve it, is progress), and soon, well, you'll GET what you deserve.
and of course i don't mean to say that i'm there yet either -- so know that you have plenty of partners to share Hell with -- but that it's not about comparison, it's just about trying to do the best that you possibly can, without lies, lies are probably the main thing. "unintentional" lies always, always count.
You think it's that easy?
Not easy finding one. But that is the solution, yes. Gives you loads of motivation and happiness.
It can. But a trustful relationship won't give you responsibility and motivation.
Why is it a problem?
It seems to me that in modern society we're under a great deal of artificial pressure to
achieve more, more and yet more all the time. To be someone of impeccable virtue and quality. To go out there and grab everything, be everything, achieve everything, then bring it back home to provide for our wife and kids in a great big fuck-off house with three cars. If you don't achieve this, you're a total failure and deserve to be shot with shit. This is the message we get from all around (particularly the media).
It's bollocks. Don't let it get to you. Make your own decisions (and be prepared to live with the consequences by the way!).
It's not like a badge that you show off. Exactly like nutball said, there is no logical way to be taken seriously. Everybody has their precious credibility of being vain.
Well that's more of a friend then a partner but I guess that's more important.
Beholdereye
Newcomer
Totally agree. A good woman will, or SHOULD, give you the proper motivation and sense of responsibility. If not, either she's not a good woman or you're just a tit. The responsibility will come with wanting to take care of her the best you can. As was said before, it's going to change you internally. Showing off will most likely be one of the furthest things from your mind.
