Hilarious joke

[Humus]

There was a swede, a dane and a norwegian stranded on a deserted island. On the beach they found a bottle. As they opened the bottle a genie flew out and thanked them for releasing him from this bottle that had been his prison for the last 1,000 years.
- To thank you for releasing me, I'll fulfill a wish for each one of you, said the genie.
- I wish I was back home in Sweden said the swede, and with a small poof he was back home.
- I wish I was back home in Denmark said the dane, and with a small poof he was back home.

The norwegian sat down thinking for a long while trying to figure out what to wish for. Finally he said:

- Well, it's quite boring being here all alone, so I really wish my friends would be here with me again.

8)

 

[Heathen]

What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier?
You can teach a pitbull not to bite.

A man phones up his lawyer asking for advice
"I'm sorry sir," replies the receptionist "He died at the weekend"
The guy hangs up only to phone againa bout half an hour later.
"Sir I told you earlier he died at the weekend." This goes on for a few days with every half hour the guy phoning upasking for the same guy. Finally the receptionist loses her cool
"For crying out loud you moron I've told you a hundred times, he's DEAD!"
"Yeah, I know it just gives me such a warm feeling inside to hear you say it though"

 

[Bigus Dickus]

What do you call a girl from Mississippi with two brain cells?

Pregnant.





Substitute familiar college rivalries into the next one... the form I'm familiar with contains these three schools and their popular stereotype:
University of Southern Mississippi - fine arts, artsy-fartsy hippie types
University of Mississippi - law, medical, snotty rich types
Mississippi State University - ag, engineering, redneck types


Three college students were walking down the beach one day and found a lamp. Rubbing it produced a genie who promised each of them one wish for ending his imprisonment.

The Southern Miss student, being the son of an ecologist and an environmental activist himself, responded "well, I'd like for all the worlds air, land, and water pollution to be removed."

The Ole Miss student responded "well, we like our quaint little town of Oxford so much just the way it is, but it's being contaminated by 'outsiders' and we'd like to put a stop to that. Build a wall around the city so that no more 'outsiders' can get in and ruin our perfect little town."

The Mississippi State student responded "hmm... that wall sure sounds interesting. Tell me more about that."

The genie answered "it's sixty feet tall, twenty feet thick, and nothing can get in or out."

The Miss. State student quickly added "great! Fill it with water!"

 

[RussSchultz]

Heard about the chinese space launch happening this week? The capsule is based off of the Russian Soyuz and is named the "Free Choo Wan Riftov."

 

[Sxotty]

Humus I liked that one .

 

[ByteMe]

Q- Why don't men "eat out" women first thing in the morning?




A- Have you ever tried to pull a grilled cheese sandwich apart?