Help: How to be more confident?

[Deepak]

I am introvert/shy by nature. I have problem adjusting/reacting in public domain. If I speak in front of people my voice(sometimes) shakes, I become uncomfortable with someone stares at me. I think many times before wearing a particular set of cloths how others will react. I have problem in entering a room full of people bec'se as I enter everyone looks at me. Then I think too much.

I know no-one can do anything to me.

So what is the solution? How to be more confident in public? How to speak forcefully?

 

[jvd]

List your flaws and weaknesses on a piece of paper .

Then set to work improving them .


I.e if your over weight start to work out and diet .

You need to be happy with yourself before you can be at ease in grups of people


IF that fails become an asshole

 

[rabidrabbit]

Yea, the asshole is an option

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

As a frequent attention whore who gets a lot of attention in public, let me give you some advice.

People are people, they are no different from you or I.

I never understood the fear of people. I have never had a problem going up to craploads of people and just talking.

My only problem is I get too excited when I'm the center of attention, I tend to rant and rave.

 

[nutball]

You can't change your fundamental nature. What you can do is work on ways to deal with the situations you find threatening. I'm very shy/introverted by nature, I don't like being in large groups of unknown people. When I am I tend not to say anything and keep myself to myself -- this used to bother me, now I accept that that's just the way I am, and it's what I do.

Public speaking is an art, and can only be learned by experience. You can learn a few things by watching others, but basically it only gets better with experience. Once you master that the rest gets a lot easier; once you're confident speaking in front of unknown people (especially if you know that you know what you're talking about), then it becomes easier to say nothing and sit there quietly confident

 

[ninelven]

erased

 

[silence]

there are other ways to boost your confidence, but that i am not going to promote anything that can get me banned. (btw: they work) 8)

 

[Deepak]

There is one more problem though I am an Indian I look like a southeast asian as my parents are ethnic Nepalese so I look different from a typical Indian...so I get more focus. Sometimes I decide that I am going to say this to this person but then I keep on postponing it.

 

[jvd]

eh so you better looking than a normal indian person ... isn't that a good thing (tm)

 

[London Geezer]

You know what the FRAKIEST thing is, and i just got chills down my spine because of it...

This morning i was in the shower and i'm not sure why but i started thinking "Mmmm later when i get into work i'm gonna make a new thread and call it *Are you an introvert* and make it a poll, *Do u think introversion is genetic?*..."

Then i come here and you just created a thread on introversion.

Totally and utterly freaky.

 

[_xxx_]

The most effective way is practice. The more you you speak in front of people etc., the more comfortable you'll be with that.

 

[K.I.L.E.R]

Go visit a psychiatrist about your issue, work it out with a professional.

 

[Reverend]

Join a website and make loud noises frequently. The practice of doing this while hiding behind the Internet will slowly build up your confidence in real life.

Look at me!

 

[London Geezer]

Well if this is of any help, i've gone from introvert to extrovert today in my life.

I started talking when i was 2 (most babies start much earlier in their life), i was a very introvert child up during all my childhood. Only started opening up when i was in a situation of supriority (most of my primary/seconday school years for example, you could say i was an extrovert although i really wasn't) or when i know whoever i'm with for a long time.

Today, i can still see traces of my introversion in that sometimes i find it difficult to make the first move, depending on the situation, but lately i've become much more extrovert than i used to be, probably because my confidence has gone up for various reasons. Also because i've got friends i can be a total idiot with without feeling embarrassed, like i sued to before.

Shame was a very strong obstacle for me years ago, and although it still is (who likes to be ashamed in public?), i think today i'm more laid back and take things in a much lighter way thna i used to.

I blame this on my family and on problems that occurred in my family and in me right until i moved to London , leaving the whole lot behind.

 

[jvd]

Join a website and make loud noises frequently. The practice of doing this while hiding behind the Internet will slowly build up your confidence in real life.

Look at me!

I thoughtu left the boards rev ? I was all sad and upset that you left and Now i find out it was all some sick joke !!!! I'm hurt .... I'm going to go cry now

 

[Simon F]

Peril sensitive sunglasses.

 

[Reverend]

I thoughtu left the boards rev ? I was all sad and upset that you left and Now i find out it was all some sick joke !!!! I'm hurt .... I'm going to go cry now

Haha. I quit the site. I never said I'd leave the community.

 

[jvd]

all those wasted tears !!!!!


Well i thought u meant you were leaving the site completely meaning no boards , but i'm glad your staying . If you had left there would only be 13 people smarter than i am posting here and well 13 is an unlucky number !

 

[London Geezer]

I thoughtu left the boards rev ? I was all sad and upset that you left and Now i find out it was all some sick joke !!!! I'm hurt .... I'm going to go cry now

Haha. I quit the site. I never said I'd leave the community.

shame.

 

[sytaylor]

l-b is a classic exmaple of "jump in at the deep end" theory. Or what I like to call JFDI. Just f*cking do it! You know how the anticipation of a bad event is usually worse than the event itself? That's called fight or flight, it's your body's self defence mechanism, working wrongly to "protect you" from your social fear.

If you just stand up and say what you want to say, like nobody else was there, you'll find that people are receptive to you. I've found that 9 times out of 10 people think the sun shines out of my ass, and I've actually become quite good in social situations. It takes me time to adjust, but I'm never the quiet guy, and can be the loud one if I feel like it.

We all have the fear, I still have it when it comes to introducing myself to random hot girls I know are checking me out (just ask l-b). There are more people like you than you think, its just most people got over it at some point because they had to.