where does one go to "get tested"

I'm not sure, but the queen is breathing hard.

 

So Sage, I guess a group chorus of "WE TOLD YOU SO!!" would probably be inappropriate right now?

 

Well i obviously didn't know about your "issues" when i posted that, and even then, my post was never rude. It was a matter-of-fact post, where i never called you names or ever been disrespectful to you, like you have been and still are to me.
I posted what the risks are, THEN you told me about your "past". And even when you accept that i wasn't doing it to "get to you", you still call me an asshole and a dick! Are you trying to get me horny?!

 

How *you* choose to react to a little helpful piece of advice is your issue, not the giver's.

 

Well, that sort of thing happens when you post about your personal life in a public place. You've got every reason of your own making to feel bad, so it's not L-B fault when he points out the position you put yourself into. It's not like you didn't expect someone to react to your posting in this way when you made this thread. L-B didn't "make you feel bad", your own guilt and regrets did that.

It's also worth noting that as this is a public forum, there's also the likelihood that L-B was posting for the benefit of the general readership - a sort of "public information posting" if you like.

If you continue to blame other people for the way you feel and act, rather than take responsibility for what you say and do... well then you've not grown up as much as you think you have.

 

I actually somewhat agree with Sage on this.

L-B is in the good as well though for there is no way he could know what Sage was thinking.

But there are few things more annoying than people continuously telling you how you screwed up in the past

 

Thank you guys!

My post was a post a gay guy who has too many of friends with HIV would write. Simply because i know too much about this as i've seen it happening too often.

It was a "be more careful and responsible" post, without knowing that you had psychological reasons why you had unprotected sex (and i won't get into a discussion where i say what i think about that).

If you, Sage, took it the wrong way, then it's all in your head. You chose to reply to me by calling me names.

If i had written "what the fuck are you doing, are you stupid!!", then i would understand. My post was the same advice you WILL get when you go to the clinic (if you say all you said here when you do the questionnaire, which you should). Are you going to attack the staff there too, telling them "I KNOW ASSHOLE, BUT I HAVE ISSUES!"?

Come on, get a grip. This is a public forum and my post was absolutely acceptable.

 

Not to mention on topic and informative, I honestly thought you were just trying to be helpful.

 

I was, as one of the very very few gay guys in the forum (and definitely the most... sexually liberated...) i kinda feel responsible as gay guys just tend to know a lot more about these things, for obvious reasons, main one being we're all huge whores... And i know a lot about this.

Even thinking that some kid believes that i would use this topic to "be an asshole and rub it in" to him just makes my blood boil.

To be honest, i've had enough of trying to explain myself to someone who obviously has too many gremlins in his head to see the good in people.

 

Whatever Sage.

If i didn't know any better, i'd think that you were just waiting for the inevitable comment from someone on the merits of you having unprotected sex (without knowing about your "issues", which you disclosed AFTER that post) just so you could turn this thread into yet another one of your "everybody hates me/look at how troubled i am!" drama-queen threads we SO didn't miss while you were away.

Newsflash, we are all troubled. Only you choose to come in here and try to make everybody's day black so that you can feel better with yourself.

So much for trying to help.

End of discussion.

 

It says a lot about you that's how you read LB's post, when it was all about good advice and "think about it next time". Obviously you're going to make the same mistakes again if you can't look at your past and see what YOU did wrong. You're going to make the same mistakes again if you can't look at you're current situation, apply what you know happened in the past, and then use your imagination to see where you are going in the near future. It's a problem that many people seem to have.

It's all very well you saying you "want help", but that's not going to be some magic pill if you can't confront and accept your past behaviour, why you did it, and how you can see it and change it for the future. Sure, there's a girl you care about now, but what happens if it doesn't work out? Back to casual unprotected sex until you meet the next girl you "care about" when you lament all the unprotected sex you had (again)? There's plenty more STDs to be scared of as well as HIV, and of course unwanted pregnancies.

If you're going to get all upset because people are "mean" when they give you the unvarnished truth, you're probably too delicate to be let lose on the internet, let alone a relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

 

You know what, fuck right off, childish queen you are. I've explained myself enough, and other people are telling you how you took it the wrong way.
Enough with this.
This place was much better when you were too busy to access it.



(see, THAT's rude)

 

"Facing your responsibility" also means facing/accepting responsibility for the things you did in the past, not just the things you intend to do in the future. It also means accepting that you will have to deal with the fact that when people find out about these things, they will have reactions or say things that you may find harsh, even if they are true.

Look at it this way. You have this girl that you really like, and you're going to get checked out and hopefully you won't have got anything nasty. So far so good. What are you going to say when she asks about your past sex life? What you did in the past will have a direct affect on your immediate future, and you're going to have to deal with this person's reaction, and tell her how you've changed your views, and how you were stupid and made mistakes, but now you've changed and why. Or are you going to tell her that she's just trying to make you feel bad and what a mean person she is? Or are you going to lie about it all, which is the easier way out, but pretty much sets the tone for this "special" relationship, and shows you haven't really learned to face your responsibilities at all?

People make mistakes all the time. Often, despite good advice, they have to make and learn from their own mistakes. It's how you deal with them afterwards that says a lot about the person you are.