#1:
You Warren Buffett fans will recognize this from his last annual report:
A money-conscious (read: tight) widow goes to the local newspaper printer to have her late husband's obituary written up. The newspaper printer says, "Sure, ma'am. We have a charge of $.25 per word."
The widow replies, "$.25 per word? Well just have it say 'John Smith Died' then."
The printer then replies, "I forgot to tell you, ma'am: We have a 7 word minimum requirement too."
After thinking for a few seconds, the woman responds, "OK. Have the obituary read: 'John Smith died. Golf clubs for sale.'"
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#2: Not a racist joke, but involves race. Just bear with it...
An international flight passenger plane is losing power and altitude. The pilot has done all he can and cannot keep the plane from losing altitude. He gets on the intercom and announces to the passnengers that the plane is doomed to crash unless they shed some weight.
Everyone just looks at each other in shock after hearing this news, nobody knowing what to do. After a few moments of silence, a Japanese man gets up, walks to the back door of the plane, and jumps out as he yells, "Bonzai!"
The plane somewhat slows its descent, but has not leveled off. After another moment of silence, a Frenchman gets up, walks to the back of the plane, and screams, "Viva la France!" as he jumps out of the plane.
The remaining passengers are amazed at the bravery of these two, but the plane is still descending (although not as quickly).
While the passengers nervously eye each other, a very large Texan gets up, dressed complete in stereotypical Texas gear: clangy silver spurs, big belt buckle, and a 10 gallon cowboy hat. He clangs his way to the back of the plane, spurs jingling and jangling, stops at the door, and turns around to look at the other passengers. At that point, he grabs two Mexicans sitting next to him, throws them out the door, and exclaims, "Remember the Alamo!"
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Again, nothing against Mexicans. I just think that joke is clever...
-Chris
You Warren Buffett fans will recognize this from his last annual report:
A money-conscious (read: tight) widow goes to the local newspaper printer to have her late husband's obituary written up. The newspaper printer says, "Sure, ma'am. We have a charge of $.25 per word."
The widow replies, "$.25 per word? Well just have it say 'John Smith Died' then."
The printer then replies, "I forgot to tell you, ma'am: We have a 7 word minimum requirement too."
After thinking for a few seconds, the woman responds, "OK. Have the obituary read: 'John Smith died. Golf clubs for sale.'"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
#2: Not a racist joke, but involves race. Just bear with it...
An international flight passenger plane is losing power and altitude. The pilot has done all he can and cannot keep the plane from losing altitude. He gets on the intercom and announces to the passnengers that the plane is doomed to crash unless they shed some weight.
Everyone just looks at each other in shock after hearing this news, nobody knowing what to do. After a few moments of silence, a Japanese man gets up, walks to the back door of the plane, and jumps out as he yells, "Bonzai!"
The plane somewhat slows its descent, but has not leveled off. After another moment of silence, a Frenchman gets up, walks to the back of the plane, and screams, "Viva la France!" as he jumps out of the plane.
The remaining passengers are amazed at the bravery of these two, but the plane is still descending (although not as quickly).
While the passengers nervously eye each other, a very large Texan gets up, dressed complete in stereotypical Texas gear: clangy silver spurs, big belt buckle, and a 10 gallon cowboy hat. He clangs his way to the back of the plane, spurs jingling and jangling, stops at the door, and turns around to look at the other passengers. At that point, he grabs two Mexicans sitting next to him, throws them out the door, and exclaims, "Remember the Alamo!"
----------------------------------------------
Again, nothing against Mexicans. I just think that joke is clever...
-Chris
