"My wife and I knew we need to work our problems out. So we called Jerry Springer and now he wants us on his show to vent our frustrations."
"Sure it works out to be completely fair hubby! You work and i work spending your money."
"Call 1-888-177-4653 and order your Oxiclean for the all time low price 19.95. Do so now and receice a whole, and i do mean, whole 2 hours free, without charge, at our microwave tanning salon."
"Dat nigga be straight trippin foo"
"Musician: Sure i am member of the Orchestra! Don't you see me in the picture?!
Man: Oh, yeah i do. You're that idiot in the upper right hand corner holding the triangle and the miniture cymbals."
"No honey, don't be silly. Of course you are ulgier now then when you were 20."
"if a principle of capitalism is price by supply and demand why then has the price of idiots remained 10c a dozen?"
"Mao Ze-Dong: Ha! you capitalist swine are simply jealous that you live in a society where idiots have rights."
"Christians have God all wrong. If they really knew how it is to be omniscient and omnibenevolent they would understand the need to abort stupid people."