I think that one thing we can all agree on is that all these namby-pamby footballers who cite the weather as a reason not to move the the Premiership are complete ponces! It's not as if the UK is located in the Arctic Circle, is it?
For £5M a year I'd play football in the seventh circle of hell if I had to.
Other top excuses (usually for seeking a transfer away from the club):
Their wives are "homesick".
They don't like the food.