Hahaha great post, CC.
Personal favorites were :
Runners up-
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
The winner:
21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
THIS CAN'T EVEN BE REAL!