but if you kept your "don't care about certain features" (EMBM) attitude, you could also use OpenGL and not care about a lot of extensions.
Not really, it's especially the extensions that OpenGL doesn't have, that I care about. Namely ps1.x shaders.
I am probably not going to support FF for much longer anyway... And move to a blend of ps1.x and ps2.x shaders (even on ps2.x+ hardware, ps1.x shaders can often be useful, because they are faster).
What do you do when you run into a card with no crossbar support in D3D, although it supports it in hardware (and OpenGL)?
The same as I do with stuff like EMBM now: ignore it. It's not that useful.
Render-to-texture is a completely different story. That is basically a drawing primitive. If you don't have support for that, your whole rendering approach falls to pieces. That's the difference: D3D supports all the useful features, which OpenGL cannot guarantee, since not everything is in the core. OpenGL extensions may expose some cutesy features, but apparently it doesn't hurt to ignore them, judging from the multitude of succesful Direct3D games.
And it doesn't hurt me either to ignore EMBM. You think Doom3 uses EMBM? It only supports one non-shader path, and that is aimed at a GPU with no EMBM support.