How do you know when it's time to let go

digitalwanderer said:
NEVER go snooping someone elses logs! :oops:
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Ye, that's the thing, some think it's normal and nothing wrong with it, some think it's the end of the world
And if you do, do NOT get caught...what kind of geek are ya, was your voodoo weak that day?
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I didn't get caught, I told her myself. And what kinda geek am I? Someone who has low to none self-confidence, can get jealous and suspicious when someone close to me starts acting strange, avoiding certain subjects and questions which were never before an issue
 
Ah, the old guilty confession. It's bitten me many a time too, that sucks.

Next time my advice would be that sometimes sharing info isn't the best thing, sometimes when you fuck up and do something like that you should just keep it to yourself. You sometimes have to ask yourself, will doing this make them feel better or me?

Sorry to hear, but it doesn't sound good. :(
 
digitalwanderer said:
Ah, the old guilty confession. It's bitten me many a time too, that sucks.

Next time my advice would be that sometimes sharing info isn't the best thing, sometimes when you fuck up and do something like that you should just keep it to yourself. You sometimes have to ask yourself, will doing this make them feel better or me?
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Now only thing I need to learn is how to do things for myself.. too bad i have no idea how, i've always put everyone else first, i always try to make things the way others want, i'm always trying to make the other(s) happy.
 
Kaotik said:
I'm around 100% positive from what she talked that she isn't sure herself what she really wants, if she wants to continue or not.
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Well there it is, if she doesn't know what she wants then the question is..are you willing to wait until she finds out what she wants? How long are you willing to wait? What if you wait a long time and then she decides she doesn't want to continue? If you decide to wait you need to give her a deadline and if by that time she still doesn't know what she wants then it's time to end it.
 
yeah I did that. twas a bad move. I'd tell the story but it's too horrible a break up for an internet forum such as this. I've become quite jaded since then wrt girls in general but I still have hope.
 
Freak'n Big Panda said:
yeah I did that. twas a bad move. I'd tell the story but it's too horrible a break up for an internet forum such as this. I've become quite jaded since then wrt girls in general but I still have hope.
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Then do what I do and detach yourself emotionally in the beginning. If there's anything worth having, it'll come naturally. Just have fun in the meantime (i.e. GO GET IT!)
 
Kaotik said:
Trying no matter what options was there mainly due the fact that I'm on a good way back to where i was in the teenages - and i really wouldn't want to re-enter the world filled with pills which are supposed to make you feel happy while they at best make you feel a bit less crappy. The bad part is that if this relationship will end, I'm quite sure I will end up down on that road again, and I also know that just finding someone to be besides me, while it would help, wouldn't get me out from there just like that.
Being extremely dependant mentally on having someone next to you, more than a friend, is sucky thing to be, but can't really help it either, and I know from experience that just "someone" there doesn't help me, I've had two relationships in my life where I felt honestly happy on those regards, the rest were.. well, they did help, but they never made me really happy no matter how nice they treated me
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Very simple, then you need a good therapist. Maybe several. No relationship will ever work unless you learn to be independant and self-sufficiant and get a grip of your own life. Anything else ends up in co-dependence, as you can see. That is not a nice way to spend the rest of your life. It's all up to you, you have to decide for yourself and start working towards self-improvement. It's really not about women at all, it's only about you and what you make of what you have.
 
If I may recommend you some literature that helped many people, me included (work them in this order):

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Healing-Sha...=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217691645&sr=8-2
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Homecoming-...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217691645&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Family-Secr...=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217691645&sr=8-7
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Crea-Creati...=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217691645&sr=8-3

Don't think of those as cheap self-help crap, they will give you clarity and help you find out pretty much everything about your inner motives. The books are just a vehicle, certainly you MUST be honest with yourself during the self-analysis. After you're done with those, seek a good therapist to help you with the last quirks.

And you will need lots of courage and endurance to do it, but it's worth it. It's your life, you don't have another.
 
I knew there will be a know-it-all anal reaction, that was a given :rolleyes:

Actually thanks to these you'll probably learn how to _stop_ hating your parents, because you'll understand them better.
 
You know the 12-step program for alcoholics, digi? That's the guy who invented it. It's not a semi-religious crap but serious stuff used by psychologists all around the world.
 
Indeed, I wouldn't call the 12 step program semi religious ... it's pretty hard on religious (you can secularize it, but that's not the original form). I don't think Bradshaw is old enough to have invented it though ;)
 
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