How do you get new friends when your when your a grown up?

I'd point out that "social drinking" (so called), is a much better way to become a drinker rather than social, and I'd advise against it.

Yeah, I came in here to post this. You don't pick up lifelong companions in a bar, be it a romantic interest or a true friend. Groups and clubs are the way to go, as both typically will get you involved with a specific set of people who will also facilitate mingling with larger sets of people.

Example: group sports means you get to know your own team, but will also get to know the other teams you play. And their families, and their friends, and their supporters, and the people who own or manage or support the facilities in which you play. It just snowballs from there.
 
Lost all my friends too - have a few work colleagues who I consider friends after a fashion.

But I am a miserable sod so I kind of deserve it and way too busy with family now (4 daughters.) However reading this thread, I think I will join a club too....
 
You heard of the exception that proves the rule?

OT - but Ive always thought this is one of the weakest sayings ever.
A - Its logically invalid
B - its sounds like something a 10 yr kid thought up first in some playground argument after being proven wrong, "yeah but that prooves Im right, nah nah nah"
 
But I am a miserable sod so I kind of deserve it and way too busy with family now (4 daughters.) However reading this thread, I think I will join a club too....
Have your kids join clubs; get to know their parents. When I was in my early/mid teens, I was an amateur competition swimmer for a small-town swim club. Every year we would do fun stuff on the side of just swimming where the parents were able to go along and interact with each other, go on ski trips or whatever.

It was a good time, looking back at it from 25+ years into the future. :p
 
You heard of the exception that proves the rule? .

OT - but Ive always thought this is one of the weakest sayings ever.
A - Its logically invalid
B - its sounds like something a 10 yr kid thought up first in some playground argument after being proven wrong, "yeah but that prooves Im right, nah nah nah"

No, please explain it to me. Using small words, and talking slowly.

The problem here is that common meaning of "prove" has changed: it used to mean "test". Apply s/prove/test/ on the saying and it will make sense. It's the same case with "The proof of the pudding is in the eating".

Having said that, you still sometimes hear "proving grounds" instead of "testing grounds".

Now we return to your scheduled program.... thumbs up to joining a club.
 
I've noticed as I get older, venues that I frequently visit like coffee shops have gained me a few friends over the years. Having a love for video games is a great ice-breaker for people around my age. I walked into a Starbucks a few years ago wearing a Diablo 3 shirt, which initiated a conversation between the barista and I. As time passed we became pretty good friends, even after he quit that job we still keep in touch and hang out. I've made probably a dozen or so friends just from similar scenarios. Finding common interests between people is a great way to make friends, and I saw a few people here mention joining a club of some sort or taking up a sport. And it never hurts to reconnect with friends from your past. Life happens and generally people understand that time and adulthood places barriers between people.
 
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I'd point out that "social drinking" (so called), is a much better way to become a drinker rather than social, and I'd advise against it.

But learning drinking is nice : no vomitting, no hangover and you're fine till you're starting to regret it (a couple years later or more)

I do only beer and red wine (occasionally other types of wine), no sugar in my alcohol, no stronger alcohols, it's fine until it becomes daily and the quantity enormous so, sure, the warning is apropos.
If we're down into drugs I'll have to see taking MDMA a couple times maybe fixed me up in some way lol but in some places that could be embarassing and what with people who videotape themselves and other people all the time with their cell phones, sheesh.

for Cheezdoodles : are there small local concert venues, festival, interesting bands, electronic music that's not the boring shit, some nice local genre of music e.g. if you were in California I guess there's "californian punk" which is better than nothing.
Also, soon it's May, that's a nice month of the year.

Also, don't worry if at worst you come back home alone and with no phone numbers, the more you interact with unknown people the more you get used to it and then making friends is like totally random.
 
We already agreed he has to quit that shit! :)

That is not going to happen soon. I may be working my ass of, but I have to say I love the work!

I have however transferred to a slightly more relaxed setting (but one with much higher pressure, and much more visibility)
 
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