DudeMiester
Regular
I'm just too damn lonely. I am a very empathetic person, and part of that means I can become terribly silly and emotional, like soft putty. However, I can only be like this with someone I really trust and I love that sense of total freedom, that complete trust. I need it, but I don't have it and its eating away at me! Not only that, but my libedo, being ever so constrained, has started to expose itself in... erm... unusual ways. If you a very sly internet user you may be able to find out how, but damned if I'll tell you, lol. Enough said about that the better. 
Given the situation, I've decided to find a so-called soulmate. I know that I am very personable and can develop a rapport quickly, while complimenting that with a profound sense of confidence. There's nothing I enjoy more then making a person feel good. Combined with my intelligence, wit and money (well, more then the average student) I expect to be able to charm women with relative ease.
Of course, I think by expecting to succeed you're already half way there. Namely, because when you half full faith in something, even in a suspense of disblief kind of way, your subconscious will start working on your side. It's likely that that sense of belief, of confidance, is simply the natural feeling of having your deepest thoughts aligned with your course of action. I know hypnotism works on this principal, by relaxing the mind into the alpha wave state where it is most able to suspend disbelief. In fact, the alpha wave state the same state one enters in day dreaming, meditation, REM sleep and deep concentration; all states where conviction and focus are paramount. You have to believe you are seeing images to day dream, believe your are relaxed to meditate, believe you are in another world to dream and believe that the rest of the world is unimportant to concentrate. By recognising this state and applying it to relationships, you can be assured that all your subconscious and non-verbal cues express what you want them to. It's like a form of self-hypnosis, if you will.
In any case, while emotional and intellectual matters are my forte, practical application isn't. I've never once been to a club or really any large social gathering outside of family events. I do dance, but always feel strangely awkward. Probably, this is because I've never taken lessons, making me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Then again, I imagine most people who dance at clubs don't either. In addition, paceing is important, but I fear I might go too far in the heat of the moment. I'm a bit wild like that.
Also, there is the issue of filtering, sorting the ones that are just an emotional nightmare lurking under the surface and the ones that are an ocean of possibilities that I can dive into. I suppose though, this is an area where only hands on experiance can increase skill, although my acute sensitivities will surely help. Then there are the physical concerns, what to wear, how to do my hair, skin creams, facial creams, fragrences, etc... even body shaving is getting in vogue. It sounds girly, but the fact of the matter is, those are the standards these days, and I'll do what it takes to get an edge. Plus, sometimes being girly is fun, in a strange liberating kind of way. Still, I'm not too worried about my looks, because I know I've got plenty to spare. Now we get to the material concerns, money, gifts, trips, little treats, etc... Still further are the romantic items like poetry, sweet nothings, the subtle "I love you", the gentle yet passionate kiss, the nice things a women expects. Quite frankly, I don't know what they expect. Do you?
Finally, there is the glass wall effect. You know that feeling, where it's like you can see what you want to do or get right in front of you, but there's wall in between, a glass wall. It's so thin though, the other side so close, and you know you can easily break through with just one swift movement! Yet there is this fear. In the same way that people get upset when accidentally breaking a worthless dish, there is that fear and apprehension of breaking the glass simply for the fact that something is being broken. There is something being lost that cannot be recovered, and even if it is worthless and unwanted it still bothers you. For good or ill, that anxiety is there.
The only foolproof way around it I know of is having someone on the other side drag you though. I mean, I could do it myself. I've been through many of them before on my own. However, by that very same fact, I'm tired. Tired of always doing things on my own, always being alone in my trials and difficulties. The problem is, this is half the point of a relationship to begin with! There is this circular trap here, this mirror maze of the mind. Someone please punch me in the face and get me out of it.
If you have any thoughts, or preferably answers, please post. Bear in mind, I've visited just about every sort of twisted fetish, kinky and pornographic to just plain weird website and community out there. I've searched for the explaination to this listlessness, and loneliness is surely it. So please don't suggest something like "learn to masturbate better" or another ridiculous thing along those lines, lol. Believe me... I've tried.
PS: WTF is with the 6 simily limit? Can't you change it so similies and images are handled seperately? Here I am, exposing my emotional side in a community call for help, and I can't even make excessive use of similies!! It's outrageous! Seriously, something should be done.
For the rest of you, I hope you have a long good laugh.................
No really, I actually did intend it to be funny in parts, lol. In fact, I can't stop laughing about it myself for some reason. Maybe that's a bad sign, oh well... here it goes!
Given the situation, I've decided to find a so-called soulmate. I know that I am very personable and can develop a rapport quickly, while complimenting that with a profound sense of confidence. There's nothing I enjoy more then making a person feel good. Combined with my intelligence, wit and money (well, more then the average student) I expect to be able to charm women with relative ease.
Of course, I think by expecting to succeed you're already half way there. Namely, because when you half full faith in something, even in a suspense of disblief kind of way, your subconscious will start working on your side. It's likely that that sense of belief, of confidance, is simply the natural feeling of having your deepest thoughts aligned with your course of action. I know hypnotism works on this principal, by relaxing the mind into the alpha wave state where it is most able to suspend disbelief. In fact, the alpha wave state the same state one enters in day dreaming, meditation, REM sleep and deep concentration; all states where conviction and focus are paramount. You have to believe you are seeing images to day dream, believe your are relaxed to meditate, believe you are in another world to dream and believe that the rest of the world is unimportant to concentrate. By recognising this state and applying it to relationships, you can be assured that all your subconscious and non-verbal cues express what you want them to. It's like a form of self-hypnosis, if you will.
In any case, while emotional and intellectual matters are my forte, practical application isn't. I've never once been to a club or really any large social gathering outside of family events. I do dance, but always feel strangely awkward. Probably, this is because I've never taken lessons, making me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Then again, I imagine most people who dance at clubs don't either. In addition, paceing is important, but I fear I might go too far in the heat of the moment. I'm a bit wild like that.
Also, there is the issue of filtering, sorting the ones that are just an emotional nightmare lurking under the surface and the ones that are an ocean of possibilities that I can dive into. I suppose though, this is an area where only hands on experiance can increase skill, although my acute sensitivities will surely help. Then there are the physical concerns, what to wear, how to do my hair, skin creams, facial creams, fragrences, etc... even body shaving is getting in vogue. It sounds girly, but the fact of the matter is, those are the standards these days, and I'll do what it takes to get an edge. Plus, sometimes being girly is fun, in a strange liberating kind of way. Still, I'm not too worried about my looks, because I know I've got plenty to spare. Now we get to the material concerns, money, gifts, trips, little treats, etc... Still further are the romantic items like poetry, sweet nothings, the subtle "I love you", the gentle yet passionate kiss, the nice things a women expects. Quite frankly, I don't know what they expect. Do you?Finally, there is the glass wall effect. You know that feeling, where it's like you can see what you want to do or get right in front of you, but there's wall in between, a glass wall. It's so thin though, the other side so close, and you know you can easily break through with just one swift movement! Yet there is this fear. In the same way that people get upset when accidentally breaking a worthless dish, there is that fear and apprehension of breaking the glass simply for the fact that something is being broken. There is something being lost that cannot be recovered, and even if it is worthless and unwanted it still bothers you. For good or ill, that anxiety is there.
The only foolproof way around it I know of is having someone on the other side drag you though. I mean, I could do it myself. I've been through many of them before on my own. However, by that very same fact, I'm tired. Tired of always doing things on my own, always being alone in my trials and difficulties. The problem is, this is half the point of a relationship to begin with! There is this circular trap here, this mirror maze of the mind. Someone please punch me in the face and get me out of it.
If you have any thoughts, or preferably answers, please post. Bear in mind, I've visited just about every sort of twisted fetish, kinky and pornographic to just plain weird website and community out there. I've searched for the explaination to this listlessness, and loneliness is surely it. So please don't suggest something like "learn to masturbate better" or another ridiculous thing along those lines, lol.
Believe me... I've tried. PS: WTF is with the 6 simily limit? Can't you change it so similies and images are handled seperately? Here I am, exposing my emotional side in a community call for help, and I can't even make excessive use of similies!! It's outrageous! Seriously, something should be done.
For the rest of you, I hope you have a long good laugh.................
No really, I actually did intend it to be funny in parts, lol. In fact, I can't stop laughing about it myself for some reason. Maybe that's a bad sign, oh well... here it goes!
