Dammit! I'm going to get a girlfriend!

[Tim Murray]

Oh God, this thread is terrifying.

Stop thinking about it and do it. Plans suck--they don't accomplish anything. Find a girl, go "WAAAAAAGH" in your head and ask her out. Yes, orks are great in relationships.

 

[_xxx_]

None really. Just inexperiance. Aren't there any love gurus in these parts from which I can extract nuggets of golden wisdom? I thought every forum had one of those? People who've scoped out all the dating services and social groups, online and offline, and gives recommendations thereupon.

There are a few here, but the experience of the others won't help you any further. A good looking "player" will tell you totally different things then an ugly&witty one for example. If you're into gurus, there are enough dating sites and books out there. But nothing is as good as the real thing.

The best way to practice (what a stupid formulation, but whatever) is to go to another city where noone knows you and just try all kinds of things. There you won't feel bad or embarrased since you know you'll never see those people again. You have to do the whole trial and error thing yourself, there's no way in hell someone can give you any "magic" solution. Don't try too hard and don't take anything personally and you'll be fine. Maybe you know some guys who are really great in seducing, make friends with them, join them, watch and learn, try stuff out yourself and you'll find the right mixture for you.

 

[Powderkeg]

Just use hookers.

They tend to be cheaper dates, they never say anything bad about you, and they'll never turn you down.

 

[_xxx_]

That's what losers do.

 

[Blade]

DudeMeister: I think I can help you, or get your the type of help you're looking for.

AIM me at BladeJB343 sometime. We can chat a bit, and I'll introduce you to a friend of mine that just might change your life. He changed mine.

He and I are in the process of co-writing an eBook for young, introverted intellectuals (P.C. for "nerds") that want to develop their sex life.

 

[Farid]

Actually, I wanted to write a paragraph about tools that can facilitate this endeavour

The only tool you'll ever need, it works all the time:

 

[John Reynolds]

The truth, however cynical it may be, has been spoken.

 

[pascal]

Vysez, you are so sexy

 

[AlNom]

AIM me at BladeJB343 sometime. We can chat a bit, and I'll introduce you to a friend of mine that just might change your life. He changed mine.

For a second I thought you misunderstood DudeMiester's...er... sexual preference.

 

[John Reynolds]

For a second I thought you misunderstood DudeMiester's...er... sexual preference.

I was wondering the same thing, but was afraid to ask.

 

[Citrous]

The only tool you'll ever need, it works all the time:

QFT.

I just had an amazingly wonderful woman fall into my life though, and she could care less that I'm currently just a carpenter trying to work his way through school (aka no money). It'll happen when you least expect it provided you stay positive, which you seem to have no issue with. I would recommend trying random-ish new stuff though, outside of your comfort zone. If nothing else comes out of it you will likely gain some funny stories.

 

[Geo]

Hey! Appreciate the fact that it is 6 smilies now! It was 4 a week ago!

Okay, best advice I can give you is two-fold. First, you have to put yourself into places where you can actually interact with the biological units of your choice. The second is, the best way is to not do so in "meat market" type environments. Instead, hang out in places where you have a legitimate interest (the stronger the better) and where women also might have a likewise interest (this is where your typical computer geek goes DAMN!). Then let nature happen.

But I think if I were to do it again and really was looking for someone seriously, I might try one of the new dating services that is aimed at making long term relationship matches rather than the "hot singles" (see "meat market" comment above) kind. Particularly if you find yourself thinking you can't think of anywhere to hang out where you'd have an interest and your chosen biological unit partner-type would too. . .

 

[Humus]

if your looking for someone, why not try eharmony.com

Just don't. I tried eharmony, and I certainly don't recommend it. It's a waste of time and money. It's much more expensive than other dating services and worse too. When you're on it you can't get rid of the nagging feeling that the whole system is constructed primarily to extract as much money as possible of the misery of lonely souls rather than trying to help you find someone. I'm almost positive that there are bots posing as cute girls that send you a single message when you get near the end of your paying period to make you pay another few months, and I don't think it's a coincidence that the number of matches that the system feeds you with goes way up when the subscription period is running out.
It also sucks in the way that it doesn't allow you to select your matches yourself or tweak any parameters, lower the thresholds or anything in case you don't get enough matches. The system provides your matches, and that's the people you can communicate with. All you can tweak is include more "acceptable religions" and stuff. But if you've maxed out all that stuff and still aren't getting any matches, you're pretty much screwed. Or if all your matches are on the west coast when you're in the east, well, too bad for you.

In summary, eharmony sucks. I payed for a 3 month period, and it was a total waste and I did not renew it. There are free online dating sites out there, so there's no reason why anyone should pay for this stuff. Eharmony never got me close to anything, but since I signed up on a free service a few months ago I've much more success. I'm currently dating a real cutie.

 

[idiom]

My advice:

Quit now I was in a similar situation awhile ago, met this great girl, went out on one date, 2 days later she finds out her grandfather is dying and her family and her take it really badly so she dumps me because she 'can't handle it right now'. I've been an emotional wreck ever since and have made a complete fool of myself Even though it was more than 3 months ago, seeing her most days just meant everything was dragged out and now it's really hard for me to get into a positive mental state for long periods of time.

 

[DudeMiester]

Ok, well I was at this talk with Steven Law, the QA guy for Ubuntu, and I started talking with this girl. I had already seen her before in the hall, looking at one of the posters for the meeting. We didn't talk, but I felt something. Since then she's been in the back of my mind. Maybe it was her looks, tall, blond, thin, probably Russian not sure, I dunno, but I remembered her.

Anyways, there she was at the meeting, and I'm talking about what we both got out of it. I was there is the hopes of getting some ideas for managing the IT stuff at my company, she was there for something to do. I talked about the projects I'm doing, she talked about how she likes to join projects. I talked about my personality, and she talked about how her's was sort of the opposite but complimentary. We exchanged names, and although she was embarassed that I would mispronouce her's I got it dead on. Damned if I can remember it now though, lol. I think there was something there, but she had to go (it's final exam time) so hopefully we'll talk again sometime soon.

The only tool you'll ever need, it works all the time:

This isn't too much of an issue. Unfortunily, I may have to borrow from my parents to get it (they have much green). Although, if my business does well, maybe it won't be an issue.

However, I want a girlfriend first, a whorefriend second. Preferably both.

 

[Nite_Hawk]

It's funny how perceptions change after you get older/married. I was horribly lonely for years in highschool and the first part of college. Finally I decided I had had enough and was done with it. Roughly two weeks later I met my wife.

After being exposed/living with a woman you start to notice little things. The subtle (or in clubs not so subtle) cues that they give off when they are attracted to you. The things they like/want, and the things they don't like. It's all very alien, backwards and contradictory. Still, it eventually makes an odd sort of sense. Apparently Bono emerging from a "giant lemon thing" is incredibly hot, bceause "it's Bono!" and he "exudes power, so he can pull it off!". Where if I emerged from a giant lemon thing, it'd probably be to rolls of laughter.

Nite_Hawk

 

[ZoinKs!]

What this thread really needs is for Sage to come back here and give his advice.

 

[Tahir2]

Right some people wrote you some thoughtful replies and gave you good advice and what did you do Dudemeister? You talked yourself out of their advice and argued against it almost.

You are being defensive and it seems are not quite yet ready to just chill. Relax take a deep breath, and that "perfect" nag, sorry, woman will fall into your lap in no time.Finding some sociable hobbies (internet gaming does not count) will help.

One day you will look back on this and say... damn I wish I was single. Only for a minute mind

 

[LunchBox]

just wondering...

Maybe your standard is too high???

 

[DudeMiester]

Right some people wrote you some thoughtful replies and gave you good advice and what did you do Dudemeister? You talked yourself out of their advice and argued against it almost.

You are being defensive and it seems are not quite yet ready to just chill. Relax take a deep breath, and that "perfect" nag, sorry, woman will fall into your lap in no time.Finding some sociable hobbies (internet gaming does not count) will help.

I'm not following.