You're an American if..

[Himself]

I don't think I could create a list like that without it sounding like you're a redneck if.. so how about a collaborative effort by all the non americans here.

You're an American if..

1. You think the US is it's own planet and all other countries are just moons orbiting it.

2. When asked why did the chicken cross the road, you immediately think about how much money the chicken would get in a lawsuit if it were hit by a car.

3..When any debate about the mertis of different countries comes up, you inevitably say well my dad can beat up your dad, so there!

4. Owning a gun is a sacred trust, a fundamental exercise in the expression of freedom and a failsafe against tyranny.

5. Phonebooths are for changing into your super hero tights and fighting evil villians using your super powers.

...anyone else..

 

[epicstruggle]

i cant think of a greater nation than the USA in this planets history.

later,

 

[Willmeister]

That's the usual response from an American. 'Greatness' is like just about everything else: relative.

 

[function]

i cant think of a greater nation than the USA in this planets history.

later,

Stroke of good luck that you're American then.

 

[Natoma]

That's the usual response from an American. 'Greatness' is like just about everything else: relative.

Actually epic isn't an american yet. He just lives here.

p.s.: America is one of the greatest nations to ever exist in the world, but I wouldn't call it the greatest necessarily. The argument could be made very strongly for Rome, especially since our code of laws is heavily influenced by Roman Canon, millennia later. Not to mention the fact that the Roman empire stretched throughout the globe, despite no planes, tanks, cars, etc, and it lasted for hundreds of years.

 

[function]

Actually epic isn't an american yet. He just lives here.

Damn. It's not as funny to say "Stroke of good luck that you live in America then" because it's a choice rather than luck.

 

[RussSchultz]

You might be american if :
You believe French Fries come from France.
You believe Pizza is Italian food.
You own a truck

 

[L233]

You're an American if...
... you're declared a hero just for doing you frigging job.

 

[DemoCoder]

as opposed to, say, Germany lionizing Becker as a hero for doing his job, playing tennis? Atleast until he started evading taxes. Sports heros are pure idols.

I guess you must be talking about Firefighters and rescue personnel, whose job is very dangerous and therefore their bravery is disqualified because it's their job. It's not like we should commend people who voluntarily choose careers that put them in harms way everyday to save lives when they could have gone and gotten a higher paying deskjob.

How about, you're an american if,
... you don't like paying exorbitant tax rates and becoming the government's sheep.

 

[antlers]

Not to mention the fact that the Roman empire stretched throughout the globe, despite no planes, tanks, cars, etc, and it lasted for hundreds of years.

Western Europe and the Mediterranean isn't exactly "stretched throughout the globe". Alexander at least got to India.

 

[Natoma]

Not to mention the fact that the Roman empire stretched throughout the globe, despite no planes, tanks, cars, etc, and it lasted for hundreds of years.

Western Europe and the Mediterranean isn't exactly "stretched throughout the globe". Alexander at least got to India.

Western Europe, Easten Europe (inclusive of Russia), the Mediterranean, Africa, the middle east. That's a hefty chunk of the worlds land mass. All without mass transit.

 

[epicstruggle]

Rome was a society based on slavery. Although we did also have slavery, we learned from our (the worlds) mistake and brought equal rights to all.
I think i can argue that this country can and has been the greatest in any catagory.

I think the Roman empire can make a strong argument for having the best engineering (for its time) and one of the strongest economies (for its time) but they are still second to the US.

later,

 

[Chris]

Hello DemoCoder,

L233 can't be referring to FF & Rescue folks as more than half of these people are volunteers thus it is not their job.

My definition of an American includes someone who does not allow pundits to do their thinking for them (Naive, I know).

It is my hope that the events of the past two years underscore the importance of doing your own research, having informed opinions, and then participating accordingly (vote, hold government accountable, etc...)

Regards, Chris.

P.S. Last night, two friends of mine where pulling 911 EMS duty. There was a call to an un-responsive female lying in the middle of a road. During the patient assessment, the suddenly responsive patient took a swing at one of my friends with a knife. The other EMT grabbed the patient in an attempt to prevent the attack from continuing and got stabbed in the neck.

I dare you to find a place to create a 1 inch deep by 1 inch wide stab wound in the neck where you will _not_ slice something crucial. Luckily, the patient managed to find such a spot.

They got the patient under control. My buddy's wound was dressed by the other EMT and they continued to give patient care while en-route to the hospital.

What will my pincushion buddy be doing tonight? He will be filling in for another EMT who is sick.

Are my friends paid to do this? (No)
Are my friends looking for the glory of a 'Hero' moniker? (No)
Are they doing this out of a basic desire to help others? (Yes)
Are they heroes to me? (Absolutely f_____g positively)
Are they Americans? (Yes)
Would they be wonderful additions to almost any other society? (I think so)
Does America have the market cornered on people like this? (No, they exist everywhere.)
Does the American public spend more energy recognizing these individuals? (Judging from L233's comments, probably Yes).

 

[Dave H]

You might be american if :
You believe French Fries come from France.
You believe Pizza is Italian food.

French fries do come from France. They were first popularized in America by GIs returning from France after WWI. (Although they were apparently originally invented in Belgium.)

Pizza is Italian food.

 

[function]

How about, you're an american if,
... you don't like paying exorbitant tax rates and becoming the government's sheep.

And "none-Americans" do?

Does the American public spend more energy recognizing these individuals? (Judging from L233's comments, probably Yes).

I think you'd have to spend a lot of time living in all other countires to really know this. The events of Sept. 11th will obviously have raised the profile of people working in the emergency services, particularly within America, and that's got to be a good thing.

I think i can argue that this country [America] can and has been the greatest in any catagory.

Maybe in such a way as to satisfy youself, but then you get to pick the criteria and chose how they are weighted to come up with a score for "greatness". It's all subjective.

I dare say there are some Nazis out there that believe pre-WW2 Germany was the greatest country ever. Would you really want to be able to convince them that your country was greater, according to their rules?

 

[RussSchultz]

French Fries come from Belgium.

Pizzia in Italy certainly isn't like Pizza in the US.

 

[epicstruggle]

@function, yes I could. Find me some of these people so we can have a nice debate about it.

later,

 

[function]

I have no such people in my list of contacts, and presently don't care to find any, so I'm going to have to let you down.

 

[Dave H]

French Fries come from Belgium.

Pizzia in Italy certainly isn't like Pizza in the US.

So what is Italian food? Pasta? Pasta comes from China.

Oh, so pasta is Italian food because it entered the American culinary vocabulary via Italy? French fries come from France.

Pizza in New York is closer to pizza in Italy than to pizza in Chicago. Although actually pizza by-the-slice in Italy is something like deep-dish.

Anyways, it's all closer to Italian pizza than American "Italian food" is to Italian food.

 

[epicstruggle]

I will agree with you that Germany did much to advance in the short period of time between ww1 to ww2. but the US grew at almost at exponational rate a few years prior to joining ww2.
Also Germany looses many points for allowing wholesale discrimination against german jews.

later,