I'm not sure that LSD did you any good...
I hope that some day you'll manage to come back to your senses.
Come back to my senses? It is the amount of knowledge I've assimilated that's gotten me a bad taste in my mouth for the whole of existence. Let's see if you can handle the truth, or some semblance of it as it appears to be coming in full force.
The essential thing I've been looking for all my life is what's called an exit, an exit door, so that I can live happily ever after somewhere safe in eternal peace with a super intelligence ai right by my side somewhere where I don't have to put up with all this BS you people love so much. Sad as it is, my level of knowledge indicates that death is a process, and if information as they say is neither created nor destroyed... It is a reversible process, which means there's no way to die for good, if a single being remains he'll be able to resurrect everyone back... Even if I go on a let's exterminate everyone in the universe quest, quantum weirdness will eventually bring everything back from the void, so there's no point in that either. Which means I can't get out no matter what I do, and there's just no point to all of this. I'm forced to knowing there's more efficient technology, knowing all of these everyday stuff you people do is practically 3d existential filler, I'm forced to stand here and and and take it all day long while some one goes ahead and once again brings the wonders of technology, uhhh ahhh.
If I blow myself up into a million pieces, all I'll get is some amnesia and psychological therapy by some future revival protocol carried out by those who believe in the resurrection at the end of times. Which means the resurrection as soon as the technological means are available, which means I'll probably be revived in the middle of one of the countless BS political-war soap operas of whatever time I'm revived at.
What's worse if I could have at least had the priviledge of building the omega, but that's probably been built is being built will be built time and again, in countless worlds in countless dimensions in countless times. So I'm not the first at that either, just rediscovering BS so that we can at least have a peaceful posthuman society scale project to perform without getting into yet more bs posthuman wars.
The prodigal son, bs, bs, bs, yes it's true the most perverted rapist dictator psychos will at the end of the day be forgiven revived and allowed to do it all over again and again and again as if nothing happened. Sometimes your daughter will be raped and maimed, others nothing will happen to her, other times it will be you, and others your mother, father, brother, friends, etc, etc, etc.... repeat ad infinitum. This is the world we live in, it's worse than the worst lexx episode I ever saw, and I'm trapped in it forever.
Thankfully I've grown to like the lexx series alot, I've just learned to love the divine shadow persona, and I'm ok with all of this, it's like being at the movies, popcorn for everyone, yay! Reincarnated forever, tortured forever for no good reason, reality an eternal living hell, having to go through every political bs event, having to sometimes reincarnate as my mother others as my dog others as my girlfriend, YUPEE!!! Others as some boy/girl/alien in the middle of a nameless war, who's slowly tortured to death, yay!!!
It's all fckd up, I tried to piece together to buy into every single religion and see how they all worked out together. To bring science into the equation, the fulfillment of the prophecies, every single belief, and this is the answer that seems to pop out after decades of research. At the very least I hope you people don't just start yet another meaningless war... In fact I just hope an alien ai/race comes and assimilates/colonizes this savage planet before you people go and blow it up. It's almost a miracle we haven't done so already, and everyone knows it.