The Worst Songs of All Time

G

Geo

Mostly Harmless
Legend
http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/04/19/eye.ent.worstsong/index.html

"Honey"? No way, not even top five!

How could they miss out on Le Freak, or Funky Town, the two gadawfullest of the disco era?

Or "Billy, Don't be a Hero"? from the early '70s. Or "Midnight at the Oasis"? Or "Do the Hustle"? Or every single version of "Da Do Ron Ron" ever sung by the wanna-be heart-throb of the day?

I do agree on excluding the novelty songs tho. I do find myself humming those from time to time. . ."Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. . . "
 
They got it aaaaalll wrong. Those songs are not even bad, they're just controversial - they do contain some musical genius even if many people don't like to admit it.

The crappiest songs are those which leave no memory trace, those which people actively forget. For the ultimate crap collection, consult the Eurovision song contest archives (although there are some gems in there too, but also some of the worst stinkers ever made).
 
This thread is basically useless, because there's so much crappy music out there we could literally fill the entire server with entries without running out of more music to mention. ;)

STILL, that said, one of the songs I hate the most (apart from pretty much any swedsh schlager/"dance band" tune - which isn't to be confused with what one usually think of as 'dance music'), is "Soldier Blue" from the 70s movie with the same name, sung by a warbling bitch whose name I don't even know.

This song is so horribly bad that all people involved in making it ought to be summarily executed by firing squad.

Ok, so I exaggerate a little. It's still pretty damn bad though!
 
It'd be a lot better if they had a "Worst Singers Of All Time" list. Would probably have to many current singers since no one really keeps track of that type of thing...
 
nintenho said:
It'd be a lot better if they had a "Worst Singers Of All Time" list. Would probably have to many current singers since no one really keeps track of that type of thing...
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Or even those from the past - i.e. do a google for Florence Foster Jenkins and the "Queen of the night" aria. (The best page seems to be down at the moment but this has two short snippets)

It is truly something to marvel - Just how deluded one can be about the the 'quality' of one's voice!

This is a quote from another page:
but I've always found the funniest to be efforts of those who really thought they were good (at least they seemed sincere about it).

One of those was Madame Florence Foster Jenkins, born around 1868, so when these recordings were made about 1940 she must have been well into her sixth decade. She lived in Manhattan and had a wealthy husband who reportedly would not let her sing in public— but after he died she did so, usually giving recitals for invited friends. She even gave a concert in Carnegie Hall (Oct. 25, 1944), which was sold out. Madame Jenkins always would change costume several times during her concerts. Reports say when she appeared on the stage (which also contained a number of palm trees in addition to the piano) there would be applause—and laughter— and when all this died down she would begin singing only to have audience sounds again cover up her efforts. It didn't matter to her; she just kept going, oblivious to all the commotion...
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AHHH Found a link to an MP3 snippet...
 
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Well, perhaps I should have titled this "worst songs of all time. . .that were actually successful when released". i.e. it has to be a hit for its era. And Ms. Jenkins seems to fit the "novelty" catagory (tho, yes, that was frightening. . .like a William Shatner song).
 
I've always been particularly repulsed by Charlene's Never Been To Me.
Ebony And Ivory also seems to serve as an antichristlike counterpoint to Elenor Rigby.
How David Hasselhoff managed to miss this list is beyond me though.

C.W. McCall's "Convoy," oh be serious, it's so bad it's come full circle as to be a work of genius.
 
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Shogun said:
C.W. McCall's "Convoy," oh be serious, it's so bad it's come full circle as to be a work of genius.
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Can't hold a candle to his "Wolf Creek Pass", tho at least that one was an obvious comedy, rather than the apparent seriousness of the former.

"The sign said clearance to the 12' line. . .but the chickens were stacked to 13-9. . . "
 
As Guden Oden said, there is just too much sh*t out there to list.
As the old saying goes 90% of everything is shit, 9% is mediocre to decent, while only 1% percent is really worth our time.
There are such thing as hugely overrated and disgustingly bad (sometimes so bad it's good (see Flying Lizards :smile: )) though.

Gloria Gainors, I will survive is such a song I think. Oh how I hate it.
It's not so much sung as screamed, and the message it tries to convey is incredibly cliched and sappy.

This video however has to rank as one of the most cringeworthy things to ever come out of Finland, and maybe the worst video ever, only rivaled by It's Raining Men: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid= -8610362188397291938
 
MuFu said:
Because he's a genius, musical or otherwise, who has made millions by taking advantage of German bad taste.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-720650682163363570&q=hasselhoff&pl=true
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I call your Hasslehof and raise you a Nimoy.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1189977381292772054&q=nimoy

And don't go all in...I've got a Shatner available too!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7258896287489458266
(though the video part of this was fan art provided)
 
Oh, you right bastards. I hate you.

I had completely repressed Toni Basil's "Hey Mickey" until I saw that. Now I must go thru the pain of going thru that process again. . .
 
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