What do you think about Love?

[Billy Idol]

No, man, I would not call her in this way.

She is actually a beautiful person, even beyond beautiful, and perhaps that's the reason why I care so much. The thing is that this friendship will always stay with assymetry. She can't give me what I can, or what I would need...

Anyway, I like the way she wanted to keep it alive- in a so cute way, obviously she cares...

But why she can be rude- have no idea...

Imo assymetry is a big problem. It will always de-stabilize...that is its nature. A relationship should be easy (at least most of the time) and rewarding...and for this stability (i.e. certain tolerance to damp out oscillations without overshooting) is needed, imho.

 

[Snyder]

No, man, I would not call her in this way.

She is actually a beautiful person, even beyond beautiful, and perhaps that's the reason why I care so much.

Whoa. Alarm bells ringing. That's not friendship, that's infatuation.

Anyway, I like the way she wanted to keep it alive- in a so cute way, obviously she cares...
But why she can be rude- have no idea...

It might be hard to believe, but no, she does not _neccessarily_ care.
There might be all kinds of reasons why she behaves the way she does.
Maybe she simply uses you because she likes the attention and/or any advantages she gets out of the relationship. Maybe she actually has a psychological problem (exreme narcicissm, bipolar, manic-depressive) which could explain the swings. In either case: Talk about it openly, confront her with it.

In any case, from what you've told here - open up yourself to the possibility to sever ties with her. It simply sounds too much like a recipe for sustained hurt (on your side).

 

[UniversalTruth]

From my personal observations, nowadays it is a wide spread type of problem in women. My friend is not the first and I believe not the last who life meets me with, and she actually shows pretty similar behaviour to other women.

They can be jealous even when not loving you... And even if you succeed to have a serious relationship, it might be just a biological interest, or chemistry.

People very rarely fall in love with others just because they appreciate the character's strong sides.

I don't know what will happen to this friendship. Now we are separated by quite large distance, so perhaps she will just forget about me.

Oh, I actually tried to sever ties with her by simply stop speaking with her, and that's when she jumped with the reaction how it was possible (but by jumped, she jumped in quite positive way, without blaming me or anything, like nothing happened and we need to continue to interact with each other). But she regularly allows herself not to respond...

And the sad thing is that other people around us blame me, that it is my fault

 

[nutball]

From my personal observations, nowadays it is a wide spread type of problem in women. My friend is not the first and I believe not the last who life meets me with, and she actually shows pretty similar behaviour to other women.

Be careful not to let your personal emotional attachment, frustration and disappointment lead down the path to mysogeny. You'll end up sounding like gamervivek.

This is not a women-specific issue. This is not a nowadays-issue. Read a bit of history. It plays both ways, and has done for pretty much all of history.

You have met a needy person who has figured out how to play you like a musical instrument. You are on the receiving end of goodly dose of emotional manipulation. This can work both ways (male plays female, or female plays male).

In any case you are being played. It's your choice whether or not to stop this. If you want to start stopping, then as Snyder said you need to admit that what you feel isn't friendship, it's infatuation. If not, then carry on and see where it leads. Just don't think that a) you're the first to go through it, or that b) it's the women's fault, because neither is true.

What I will say though - I'm guessing you're quite young - but once you get past the First Breeding Cycle and end up with female "friends" in their 40's then all the hang-ups change. All the rules change. Note that I'm not saying it gets better - just different. Have fun!

 

[UniversalTruth]

It could be a friendship but wonder it or not, it doesn't depend on me, if I am on the receiving end, and being played like an instrument. If so, then the other side is not ready for a true friendship, not me... Even moreso, when you consider the fact that I am not happy with it.

Anyways, guys, your opinions and help is quite important to me...

And what I will do now is to simply lower the level of priority for this interaction to normal acquaintance or even slightly lower than that.

I think it would be fair for everyone

 

[Arwin]

Focus on the positive things. Biggest mistake to make is that you can find everything you need from one person. Get the basics right, and make sure you have many friends and other people that fill the holes. And distance is difficult to overcome for longer than a few months, so keep looking in the immediate vicinity.

And never stop looking at yourself - you may have traits that hold you back from meeting nice people or being good enough to fullfill someone elrse's basics. Those at least you need to get right.

 

[Davros]

Bad. Very bad.

If you think thats bad, he could forget france and maybe we could make him try germany
and sniff out a Fraulein when he's Scent to Cologne

Yes ladies and gentleman I am a comedy genius.....

 

[nightshade]

and sniff out a Fraulein when he's Scent to Cologne

*Dead*

 

[UniversalTruth]

Focus on the positive things. Biggest mistake to make is that you can find everything you need from one person. Get the basics right, and make sure you have many friends and other people that fill the holes. And distance is difficult to overcome for longer than a few months, so keep looking in the immediate vicinity.

And never stop looking at yourself - you may have traits that hold you back from meeting nice people or being good enough to fullfill someone elrse's basics. Those at least you need to get right.

Arwin, what traits could there possibly be, do you see something just from my opinions and style of writing? Do you think that I am a bad person who doesn't deserve people's tolerance?
And how can I recognize them, when I am trying to do my best according to my understandings?

Usually people say "just be yourself and the right people will like you". Is this wrong?

I think people underrate me. In the same way they underrate the music and other things that I like... Trance for example and many vocal trance songs don't receive the attention they deserve

 

[homerdog]

Don't worry UT you will find somebody who is right for you. I thought it would never happen for me but all of a sudden things changed it a big and awesome way