UCCTT: Ultimate Console Conspiracy Theories Thread

[SlimJim]

As the thread title says, in this thread you can let your imagination run wild, in a way this thread is inspired by the "PS4 memory subsystem hampered?"-thread (or something to that extend). There should be a few rules. But the main goal is, to create or collect the most amazing console conspiracies.

I will start off the thread with one that I just came up with now.

"MS found out that the super high latency GDDR5 severely crippled the Xbox3-prototypes. Not to mention that it produced hardware failures because of the excessive heat. And the price would have bankrupted MS.
At the meantime: they found out that you can just add up bandwidth numbers and that majority of the gaming press and public would believe it. So they went with a proven and reliable option: the ultra-low latency memory technology that is DDR3.
The ESRAM, was just the icing on the cake."

You see it is still a little bit grounded in reality and it even uses real world FUD so this one should be good. here is another attempt:

"MS built a supercomputer cluster for NASA: to track billions of meteorites, in realtime. But seeing as NASA couldn't afford the super amazing cluster, they decided just to use it as cloud technology to a console.
Now they are simulating a human brain that will be trained as a racedriver"

that one was less grounded in reality, but extra absurd in a (probably lame) attempt at humour.

Let's see what you guys can come up with!!!

 

[BRiT]

How is this even remotely technical? I have a good mind to nuke this right here and now.

 

[Shifty Geezer]

Let's see what you guys can come up with!!!

This is inappropriate for B3D. The 'PS4 memory' thread was someone who didn't know how contention is managed asking if it'd be an issue or not, and not some wild conspiracy or secret sauce discussion. There's way more crap on the internet than is healthy for humanity; we don't really need people manufacturing more here.

If you want to indulge in console related humour, that'd be a subject for the general discussion thread.

Edit: Moved per request

 

[SlimJim]

This is inappropriate for B3D. The 'PS4 memory' thread was someone who didn't know how contention is managed asking if it'd be an issue or not, and not some wild conspiracy or secret sauce discussion. There's way more crap on the internet than is healthy for humanity; we don't really need people manufacturing more here.

If you want to indulge in console related humour, that'd be a subject for the general discussion thread.

Edit: Moved per request

Thanks!

 

[Davros]

If you want to indulge in console related humour, that'd be a subject for the general discussion thread.

Edit: Moved per request

What request, there was no request
/senses a conspiricy

 

[Sonic]

NASA would hire IBM for such a machine, not MS.

 

[zupallinere]

This thread was obviously started by the Illuminati or the Tri-Lateral Commision or the Masons or their friends in high places to draw in the Independent Minded ( or minds independent from reality ) into one place to then BOOM !! NSA swoops in.

Well I for one will not fall for this Honeypot Slim JIm if that's your REAL NAME !! Last time I dealt with a Slim Jim at a convenience store at 4 am in the morning ... it didn't end well

 

[SlimJim]

This thread was obviously started by the Illuminati or the Tri-Lateral Commision or the Masons or their friends in high places to draw in the Independent Minded ( or minds independent from reality ) into one place to then BOOM !! NSA swoops in.

Well I for one will not fall for this Honeypot Slim JIm if that's your REAL NAME !! Last time I dealt with a Slim Jim at a convenience store at 4 am in the morning ... it didn't end well

That was probably my clone, but anyway, new conspiracy theory:

MS expected sony to heavily focus on the new camera, so they manufactured a few million kinect 2 cameras.
Little did they know: they wouldn't even sell a few million in the launch period, let alone buy the camera at all. So they bundled it and delayed the Xbox one in a few countries.