Men's retreat for self development and healthy masculinity

[Nesh]

I would like to share this event conducted by a friend that I was looking forward to for quite some time.

This is a call for all men who want to challenge their fears, break from their limitations and discover their hidden potential in all aspects of their lives, from love making, to how we communicate with others, to performing in our professions.

A chance to connect with our selves and learn what it means to be a conscious, authentic, self aware and responsible man towards our own selves, other men and women.

This is actually very cheap compared to those that are usually taking place in other places of the world and this is the last time that it will be at that price.

So if anyone who sees value in this and would like to take advantage of the price difference as a chance to travel and join it is a good opportunity

https://www.in2thewild4men.com/

 

[Davros]

I honestly couldnt imagine anything more awful - sorry

 

[cheapchips]

I couldn't help but imagine it being run by Tom Cruise's character from Magnolia.

 

[orangpelupa]

The website makes it seems to be a "dude bro" vacation, and complemented with pseudo science.

I have never attended such event tho. So I'm actually curious lol

 

[Nesh]

The website makes it seems to be a "dude bro" vacation, and complemented with pseudo science.

I have never attended such event tho. So I'm actually curious lol

I think you guys are making too many assumptions.

And the major reason why many of us make such assumptions is the uncomfortability we have with concepts such as connecting, expressing ourselves, being vulnerable, talking about sexuality out of the common "man" know it all concepts, or the idea that we need help as men.

I know the man that organises this personally and I ve met another man like him and I was mindblown.

Let me just tell you that the dude is breath taking in what kind of state he exists in and how he can read you simply based on every fucking detail from your voice, body language and what you say.

I had experienced some smaller workshops of his and I was simply mindblown by the process of braking through the communication barriers and the defenses we have as men.

I ve seen how he communicates with women and others and its a fucking amazing.

Most of us are too proud or too scared to see how under developed we are as men or as humans in general. There are concepts we cant accept in terms of expression, function, communication and creating the necessary polarity with women.

I experienced myself the concept of semen retention orgasms, going through prolongued cold water exposure, talking through the heart i stead from the head and being 100% fully authentic. Thats something I m working on.

We are too stuck into reading tricks, advice, pick up lines and such that we forget how to embody our true core being. That super grounded state.

The guy is so liberated that he does whatever he feels like and he is not scared of what others will think. I ve never met anyome so grounded and who is living so much in his body. Last time he just stood in public and just shouted FUCK IT holding his ground and space so strongly to show me how it is like to NOT GIVE A FUCK and emit that super grounded confidence that attracts people and respect you.

Most of us are blind and dont know it until we find someone who can really see

Forget what you ve seen in Hollywood.

This guy shows you how it is like to live out of the comfort zone to develop yourself.

And believe me in his workshops a lot of barriers and uncomfortable states are being revealed about ourselves that we constantly hide fron us and others because we are too scared to face.

 

[zed]

I think you guys are making too many assumptions.

The website mentions acupuncture & qi, both are just complete BS pseudoscience, so orangpelupa is correct in this respect.

Yoga, meditation OTOH can actually be beneficial. Also I do agree with the main gist of what you're saying

"I experienced myself the concept of semen retention orgasms" So is that like a fart, where its eventually emitted from the mouth?
So you're all in a circle practising this? Is there a cookie involved? Actually no there wouldnt be would there if you're doing it right. Sorry J/K

Not knocking the event, Sounds good though, where I and prolly most others could learn something from taking part, who knows maybe in a year or so, plus Ive never been to cyprus. Many years ago, I worked in ozzie for a family from there (they could hardly speak english) as a banana picker, good family

 

[Malo]

The guy is so liberated that he does whatever he feels like and he is not scared of what others will think. I ve never met anyome so grounded and who is living so much in his body. Last time he just stood in public and just shouted FUCK IT holding his ground and space so strongly to show me how it is like to NOT GIVE A FUCK and emit that super grounded confidence that attracts people and respect you.

How is this a good thing at all? You can't build a functional society and respect each others space if everyone is taught to say and do whatever they want. We have barriers and reservations for a reason, a very good reason. There's nothing wrong with being able to express yourself and not feel as though you can't do things due to how others might perceive you, but you also need to absolutely respect others around you and what your actions have on them.

 

[Nesh]

How is this a good thing at all? You can't build a functional society and respect each others space if everyone is taught to say and do whatever they want. We have barriers and reservations for a reason, a very good reason. There's nothing wrong with being able to express yourself and not feel as though you can't do things due to how others might perceive you, but you also need to absolutely respect others around you and what your actions have on them.

what part did I communicate where you dont respect others? Its the complete opposite. You learn how to communicate with others without judgement and at the same time not allow other peoples judgement limit you. This has nothing to do with stepping over other peoples boundaries. This is about expressing yourself fully.
The majority of people limit theirselves because they are living in "I give too much fucks about what other people think" and that has nothing to do with direspecting them. Thats about disrespecting yourself and letting others disrespect what you can do and how you do it because they are also living inside self limitimg beliefs.
You are also living in a judgemental society and unproductively judging someone is not that someones issue. The one who judges needs to work on his self. So why are you judging and assuming?

 

[Nesh]

The website mentions acupuncture & qi, both are just complete BS pseudoscience, so orangpelupa is correct in this respect.

Yoga, meditation OTOH can actually be beneficial. Also I do agree with the main gist of what you're saying

"I experienced myself the concept of semen retention orgasms" So is that like a fart, where its eventually emitted from the mouth?
So you're all in a circle practising this? Is there a cookie involved? Actually no there wouldnt be would there if you're doing it right. Sorry J/K

Not knocking the event, Sounds good though, where I and prolly most others could learn something from taking part, who knows maybe in a year or so, plus Ive never been to cyprus. Many years ago, I worked in ozzie for a family from there (they could hardly speak english) as a banana picker, good family

Semen retention orgasms has a beneficial effect in the neurological system and increases stamina and focus both in and out of bed. It also can enable multiple orgasms for men and increased satisfaction for your woman. Every time we ejaculate our body spends a lot of energy and nutrients to create back the semen and the more freguently we ejaculate the less the energy and focus we have for daily activities. Of course this doesnt mean to never ejaculate. Its healthy to release once in a while but you can regulate it.

 

[zed]

what part did I communicate where you dont respect others? Its the complete opposite. You learn how to communicate with others without judgement and at the same time not allow other peoples judgement limit you

Yeah thats what I took it to mean, Do what you want without caring if other ppl disapprove of it if its not causing harm eg I was just listening to a podcast about 2 twin boys in venezuela who started dancing at a young age, and their fighter pilot father practically disowned them cause dancing didnt fit his idea of machismo but they kept on doing it cause they loved dancing (and now travel the world doing what they love (*))

(*)actually that whole stereotype of if you dance you're gay is a bit hilarious when you think of it, OK I can do this gay activity where I get to lift near naked women up etc and the sex ratio is 10:1 girls to boys, or I can do the straight activity of rugby where I get to put my head between other mens thighs

 

[iroboto]

So if anyone who sees value in this and would like to take advantage of the price difference as a chance to travel and join it is a good opportunity

This isn't for me, but I just want to reiterate that he wasn't trying to sell the experience until people started telling him it's a bad experience. The OP did just leave it as this (anyone who sees value in this). I think that's fair. If you don't see value in it, then it's good to just move on.
IMO: given the situation with incels growing at an alarming rate, and sometimes the unfortunate terrorism from this group; I think it's possible that these types of things will do good (for incels) provided the session is about mastering themselves and their insecurities, instead of how to master engaging with other people. I frankly don't care how they go about doing it, anything can serve it's purpose in filling a void in peoples lives to even though I don't believe in it.

I would much rather have people look within to deal with their issues, then to be trained to hate others.

 

[Nesh]

This isn't for me, but I just want to reiterate that he wasn't trying to sell the experience until people started telling him it's a bad experience. The OP did just leave it as this (anyone who sees value in this). I think that's fair. If you don't see value in it, then it's good to just move on.
IMO: given the situation with incels growing at an alarming rate, and sometimes the unfortunate terrorism from this group; I think it's possible that these types of things will do good (for incels) provided the session is about mastering themselves and their insecurities, instead of how to master engaging with other people. I frankly don't care how they go about doing it, anything can serve it's purpose in filling a void in peoples lives to even though I don't believe in it.

I would much rather have people look within to deal with their issues, then to be trained to hate others.

This event is indeed about mastering ourselves, our insecurities and being authentic

It has nothing to do with hating. Its about being honest, loving and grounded.

The best communication comes by working first with ourselves so we dont project onto others our limiting beliefs and insecurities

edit: And yes this event is for those of whom it resonates with and not for everyone. I m talking out for personal experience. I dont get any commission or benefit by spreading it. I just saw amazing benefits and wanted to share. I have to admit that I got very surprised by the amount of assumptions I receive about this workshop from the people here.

 

[digitalwanderer]

It seems like some sort of toxic masculinity training seminar.

 

[iroboto]

It seems like some sort of toxic masculinity training seminar.

As the seminar is presented on the site; it’s seems quite separated from the opinions of incels. Incels are more to latch onto pua and basically determine their worth around how many girls they can pick up. They justify any sort of behaviour towards the opposing sex because they’ve warped their insecurities into hatred. I don’t see that with the site. It’s not appealing to that type of man.

 

[Nesh]

It seems like some sort of toxic masculinity training seminar.

Dude its the complete OPPOSITE of toxic masculinity. Its crazy insane how people make assumptions.

It is a workshop that teaches men how to be the HEALTHY kind of masculine and ELIMINATE toxic masculinity.

Toxic masculinity is the result of surpressing male vulnerability and expression, and the promotion of aggressive behavior.

This workshop is to help men embrace their vulnerability, express their surpresses traumas, discover their INNER strength, how to empower the feminine expression of women, help women heal, etc!!

I m literally gobsmacked!! Its like introducing a vegan page and people assume its promoting animal abuse and slaughter

Actually these comments reveal how most men are sooo alienated from these concepts that their perceptions misinterpret the very workshops that are teaching men how NOT to be toxic masculine and become the man that holds space for female expression in their women and form proper communication and support between men.

It looks like the only concepts recognised by most are either toxic masculinity/patriarchy vs equality as in identical roles. There is the healthy polarity as well. And every good relationship advisor will spot that many problems in relationships come from the lack of this polarity. An emasculated man and a woman who becomes too masculine in the relationship.

This is NOT about picking women. Its about healing ourselves and set the ground for us and women to flourish proberly.

It teaches toxic men to see women differently and look for healthier expression. It teaches men to see their selves differently.

It teaches men how to be RESPONSIBLE for their actions and have the guts to SUPPORT themselves, their brothers and women. It helps men who have been abused to become strong, it helps men who have been toxic and abusive to become the men that women really need.

Edit: I ve been to workshops of his that included men and women as well and believe me, it was empowering and helpful for both, even making women learn how to protect themselves and say NO when a man forces his self on them

 

[milk]

The guys are being a bit too mean here. Gotta have some simpathy for anyone trying to work on self-improvement and soul-searching.

In theory, the things the event purports to seek are all very important and desireable. My reservations are around setting out to do it in an event such as this with a bunch of strangers. I fear it migh be too contrived of an environment for it to work. It might just become too awkward and self-agrandizing.

I've been invited by a hippie dude to watch a male-warrior gathering of their (or whatever its called) when I was in a national meeting of independent hippie communes and alternative societies. Turned out to be mostly a fell-goodie-good circle-jerk of lost men (more like boys) trying to guide other lost boys. A lot of ot was tryng to emulate feminist woman-power type stuff and adapt it to men, which I find to be a non-starter already because I feel like masculine and feminine energy are different enough that you might want to explore them in very different ways. Also, most girl-power or Woman-magical-godess-spirit whatever gatherings are their own kind of hugbox circlejerks that do a lot of gimmiks and achieve very little in their own right. So not a good model to get inspiration too. Felt like the boys saw the girl's club and said "wait, we can do that too"

But that was this one thing. I am not saying your friends event is going to be like that. Just something to watch out for.

I believe it might work better to just find like-minded friends of yours and set out to go camping for a weekend with them, or fishing, mountain hinking, hunting whatever. Maybe meditate, or drink booze by a campfire, or take LSD, or read the bible. I don't know, what fits your style. And let all the philosophy and self-actualization come out naturally, without hamfisting it into a little seminar or moppy circles where each one competes to share their most pathetic traumatic story. The more you do things like that, the more intimacy you will naturally develop with your palls, and the deeper you will explore these themes the event you mentioned seek to explore, but without all the awkwardness and creepy factor. But that's my 2 cents...

As for these boys clubs/ girls clubs in general. They are necessary, but in small doses. There are parts of human experience that are indeed more exclusivelly male or female. And I think ideas such as "masculine energy" and "feminine energy" can be useful metaphorical tools if used while aware of their simplistic nature and their limitations. But there is a lot of human experience that is universal across the sexes, and we don't want to over-segregate between men and women any more than we need to. There is a lot of fulfilling spiritual connections you can derive from hanging out with women as well.

In short. Have a "boys night" every once in a while, but also make sure to have a "boys and girls night" just about as often, if not more.

 

[digitalwanderer]

I've never really considered there to be a difference between men and women 'cept the naughty bits, we're all just people when it comes to thinking.

 

[milk]

I've never really considered there to be a difference between men and women 'cept the naughty bits, we're all just people when it comes to thinking.

That is wishfull thinking, and part of the "humans are a blank slate" belief that was popular in psychology and education during the 80' and 90's and the popular cultural in general, which while well meaning, has proven time and again to be naive and misguided.

Yes, we want to make the world to be as egalitarian as possible, but if you are serious about achieving that effectively, you have to be honnest and realistic about the differences in psychology, culture, socialization, etc that do exist between sexes. Ignoring it is the famous ostrich with their head on a hole strategy. Its more comfortable in the short term, but disastrous in the long one.

Both men and women can benefit from communal man-only/women-only moments. In fact, we naturally create these moments without even noticing it. Women will often arange diner parties, or brunches "for the girls only". Some book clubs are woman only. During family reunions, women will often use the preparation of the food as an excuse for then to share their stories in the kitchen. Equally, men will go on fishing/hunting trips, or go watch a sports match together, play poker or will hang around the grill during the neighborhood barbecue.

I say this as a guy who did not participate in many of these "guy-moments" as a kid, and was more of the artist kid, theater kid, whatever. I didn't see myself as a mainly man, nor did I even want to.
Only in my twenties, I started realizing there were many failings of my character that were directly associated with an underdeveloped "masculine side". Again, I'm using that term as a metaphorical tool. For a dude, I had a more well developed "feminine side" (for dude standards) than my "masculine side". I went on to exercise more, started practicing boxing, hang out with dude-bro guys more often then I did before, without being condescending and arrogant towards them, and it did help enrich my outlook of life and grow as a person significantly. And I am aware my experience is not unlike many other guys my age.

I'd go as far as say that the toxicity of groups such as incels and pick-u0-artists cults is in a way related to that. If you do a cursory survey of the guys in these groups, they are not super-masculine jocks. They are the sensitive/creative boy that is feeling inadequate displaced. They are guys that rarely competed in sports, didn't learn to take risks, to accept defeat graceously when it happens, to work hard on self-improvement and allow that work to be tested against the work of others on the real world (again, I'm describing a lot of my younger self here). And as a result they have a self-loathing, self-pittying and entitled sense of self, and a very judgemental and apocaliptic world view (you are either a Chad or a virgin, and I happen to be a virgin, and therefore I'm a useless embarrassing waste of space, so I might as well off-myself already, and maybe take some innocent people along if only to vent my frustration)

Incels are not an example of toxic masculinity, but of what happens when men DON'T develop their masculinity properly. Its lack of masculinity rather than excess of it.

So I can understand the impetus to seek out this "male spirit" thing and whatnot. The idea itself is not inherently bad, but it depends on the execution.

 

[Nesh]

That is wishfull thinking, and part of the "humans are a blank slate" belief that was popular in psychology and education during the 80' and 90's and the popular cultural in general, which while well meaning, has proven time and again to be naive and misguided.

Yes, we want to make the world to be as egalitarian as possible, but if you are serious about achieving that effectively, you have to be honnest and realistic about the differences in psychology, culture, socialization, etc that do exist between sexes. Ignoring it is the famous ostrich with their head on a hole strategy. Its more comfortable in the short term, but disastrous in the long one.

Both men and women can benefit from communal man-only/women-only moments. In fact, we naturally create these moments without even noticing it. Women will often arange diner parties, or brunches "for the girls only". Some book clubs are woman only. During family reunions, women will often use the preparation of the food as an excuse for then to share their stories in the kitchen. Equally, men will go on fishing/hunting trips, or go watch a sports match together, play poker or will hang around the grill during the neighborhood barbecue.

I say this as a guy who did not participate in many of these "guy-moments" as a kid, and was more of the artist kid, theater kid, whatever. I didn't see myself as a mainly man, nor did I even want to.
Only in my twenties, I started realizing there were many failings of my character that were directly associated with an underdeveloped "masculine side". Again, I'm using that term as a metaphorical tool. For a dude, I had a more well developed "feminine side" (for dude standards) than my "masculine side". I went on to exercise more, started practicing boxing, hang out with dude-bro guys more often then I did before, without being condescending and arrogant towards them, and it did help enrich my outlook of life and grow as a person significantly. And I am aware my experience is not unlike many other guys my age.

I'd go as far as say that the toxicity of groups such as incels and pick-u0-artists cults is in a way related to that. If you do a cursory survey of the guys in these groups, they are not super-masculine jocks. They are the sensitive/creative boy that is feeling inadequate displaced. They are guys that rarely competed in sports, didn't learn to take risks, to accept defeat graceously when it happens, to work hard on self-improvement and allow that work to be tested against the work of others on the real world (again, I'm describing a lot of my younger self here). And as a result they have a self-loathing, self-pittying and entitled sense of self, and a very judgemental and apocaliptic world view (you are either a Chad or a virgin, and I happen to be a virgin, and therefore I'm a useless embarrassing waste of space, so I might as well off-myself already, and maybe take some innocent people along if only to vent my frustration)

Incels are not an example of toxic masculinity, but of what happens when men DON'T develop their masculinity properly. Its lack of masculinity rather than excess of it.

So I can understand the impetus to seek out this "male spirit" thing and whatnot. The idea itself is not inherently bad, but it depends on the execution.

The execution is well facilitated.
It is not the "hippie" kind of gathering or a "man hung out" to do some "macho stuff to get masculine". I know what you were talking about earlier when you mentioned the hippie thing. I ve seen similar things The problem these days is that anyone can claim to be anything and there are many delusional people who think they are "awaken" or "more aware" and facilitate gatherings and workshops irresponsibly without truly knowing what they are doing. Crazy new age people.
This one has a program with a purpose and it is executed by a mature responsible man who also went through a lot of processes himself, who also had a mentor and puts things in action in his daily life.
This is very different than most people imagine.
The conductor talks with every person who has interest before he is admitted. He wants to make sure the people who will come there are mature, have some idea about what they want to improve in their daily lives, and know what this is all about.

 

[Nesh]

I've never really considered there to be a difference between men and women 'cept the naughty bits, we're all just people when it comes to thinking.

We are all people, we are equals, we all have the masculine and the feminine inside us, but at the same time we are also different. We have biological differences and we have instincts in our unconscious that move towards directions that we block because our current societies focus on money making and consumption.
There are patterns in males and female behavior that test those very instincts.
For example men are much easier sexually and emotionally stimulated than women. Men dont need to test a woman to want to have sex with her.
A woman on the other hand most of the time, tests a man if he can stand above the circumstances to feel safe before she can be engaged sexually and emotionally. This is how we operate by instinct in relative terms.
In relative terms a woman needs emotional engagement in order to express herself sexually, whereas men in relative terms view the engagement of sex as a way to express their emotions more.
For example: Instinctively a man who has no work and his woman takes care of him starts feeling emasculated, useless and depressed, he feels that his woman doesnt respect him and his woman feels that she is living with a baby she has to mother instead of a man, she doesnt feel like a woman, she feels unprotected and unsafe and loses attraction and interest. Now reverse this. A man who provides for his woman, gives space for her expression and is grounded makes his woman feel safe, and she feels that she wants to give herself to him. Regardless if she also works or not.
These are things that come out naturally. But the current feminist movements (not the good ones), do a disservice for both men and women by creating a competitive and conflicting environment that should have worked but ultimately doesnt.
Many "feminist" women I know that misinterpret the purpose of feminism, as they grow, they end up wanting and living the very life style they were accusing earlier. They still act like women who want a man that can protect them, not a man who wants to be protected or a relationship where they are both fighting who will lead or who needs to be held.
Ironically thats an issue my lesbian friend has with the women she dated.
They are talking the same language but when their inner woman kicks in, in both, and want to be led, problems arise.