Getting married today

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by eastmen, Jun 27, 2019.

  1. eastmen

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    So i am getting married later today. I have been posting here since my early 20s or even teens. I know some of you guys and gals are have been married for a long time. Any advice ?
     
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  2. Karamazov

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    RUN !
    kidding
    Congratualtions
    enjoy as much as you can !
     
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  3. iroboto

    iroboto Daft Funk
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    Congrats! Eastman!

    yea the advice is pretty simple. Your marriage is like a garden, gotta keep it maintained, well fed and looked after, or it will wither and die or grow out of control of what you originally envisioned together.
     
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  4. eloyc

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    Congratulations! <3
     
  5. Davros

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    Make sure your wife keeps the front lawn mowed - Sorry I could'nt resist
    congrats.....
     
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  6. milk

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    Good job. Wish you two the best.
     
  7. digitalwanderer

    digitalwanderer Dangerously Mirthful
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    Try and enjoy the day, but most importantly try and make sure your wife enjoys the day. ;)
     
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  8. orangpelupa

    orangpelupa Elite Bug Hunter
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    Whoa! Congratulations! <3

    I don't even have a girlfriend so I don't really have anything smart to say...

    But from what I saw with work colleagues, and other family members who's married and have kids...

    Please never forget that your wife and kids are a person, not a pet, not a trophy. Please be open to learning new things and not be scared to acknowledge mistakes (for every party).

    Having a family is something really important in life that's not learned in school, must be experienced, studied, and do on-the-fly.

    I've seen family members who really cares their kids... Their kids are not allowed to experience tons of stuff and voice their own mind (because parents knows best)....

    Or the husband/wife want to do good stuff for the wife/husband but it turns bad... These "small misunderstanding" keeps piling ut.... Until one day, the perspective of each party become so skewed, so everything each party says or do (or didn't do) become corrupted.

    ---

    Btw according to Homer Simpson, to be a good husband you need to have this skill

    "nod and humm when the wife talks" :lol2:

    Edit: b3d doesn't support smileys from keyboard :runaway:
     
    #8 orangpelupa, Jun 28, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2019
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  9. vjPiedPiper

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    Dont' drink too much at the wedding party.

    Think VERY seriously about having kids.
    I love mine to bits, but it is a giant change to your relationship, and every aspect of your life.
     
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  10. Sxotty

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    Congrats and good luck. We have three kids and have been married near 20 years now. People already have you good advice. Most divorces are money problems or kids. Figure out what you agree to. What sort of purchases do you need to discuss? Do you need a budget? Most people do, but we just always spent less than we earned on average so never got super anal about budgets. Kids are a big jump. No one has an answer there but I will say that certain strategies are certainly more effective, but there are no guarantees .
     
  11. Entropy

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    First off congratulations!

    Sxotty has good points in money and kids. Kids changes your life, and if either of you isn’t really prepared for that trouble will come. Err on the side of caution, because whatever the consequences, the children will typically be impacted more than the adults whether they realize it or not.

    Communication. A good will. Extend your love even when life weighs on you. Honesty.
    It’s time to leave egoism behind, and enjoy life as part of something bigger than just yourself.
    Give. It’s great. :-D
     
  12. Rodéric

    Rodéric a.k.a. Ingenu
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    Congratulations.
    Mariage is like everything, you need to take care of it, listen, understand and support your other half.
     
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  13. temesgen

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    Congrats, marriage is a great thing. Only having kids comes close. It's a commitment but it's worth every bit of it.
     
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  14. Silent_Buddha

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    Congrats...

    Just remember, marriage is a two way street. Always be willing to talk things through. Be sure that BOTH of you understand where each other is coming from. If one of you (either you or your partner) is backing down too often, then the marriage is going to suffer. Likewise if either you or your partner are too stubborn about things, then the marriage will suffer.

    That's all obvious stuff. What isn't obvious is that the balance is hard to maintain, and it's hard to see if one is being too stubborn or is backing down too easily. That's where being willing to listen and trying to understand is important. But it also doesn't mean just giving up immediately on something you believe in.

    Best of luck to you man.

    Oh and the most important thing. If things get tense, sometimes it's best to just shut up and give it a day or two. But don't let it fester too long if it's something that's bothering one or both of you. Just give it some time so that you don't say something you'll later regret.

    Regards,
    SB
     
  15. Sxotty

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    One thing that took me a stupid amount of time to realize was that people do not want a solution to problems all the time. They often just want sympathy or empathy. To me it seemed Irrational so I would try to solve whatever problem a person talked about but that was not the desired outcome. I guess most people are like that, but it still seems weird to me :) .
     
  16. BRiT

    BRiT (╯°□°)╯
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    Congratulations. Make the most of it.

    Also remember you're always wrong and she's always right.

    To add onto what Sxotty said, some people just want advice to ignore. It wont matter what it is or how well it would work for them. Some will always ignore advice yet continue to seek it.
     
  17. eastmen

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    Thanks everyone for the great advice. We got married in Disney and they handled everything and it was amazing. Quite honestly we had a blast and everyone at he wedding told us it was the best they were at including their own. Honeymoon was also a lot of fun but god damn its hot in Florida right now lol
     
  18. Tkumpathenurpahl

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    From what I understand, women respect authority.

    So, report your new wife to the police for masterminding 9/11. When she returns from Guantanamo Bay, your marriage should be stronger than ever.

    I'm single btw.
     
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  19. Rys

    Rys PowerVR
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    This might well be the best post on Beyond3D of all time.
     
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  20. snarfbot

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    Congratulations!
     
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