Myspace prank results in the suicide of 14 year old

Dresden

Dresden

Celebrating Mediocrity
Veteran
Why isn't this a parenting problem?

Let's lay it out:
  • Parents knew she was on MySpace.
  • Parents knew she suffered from ADD
  • Parents knew she was already overweight and needed to be more active (their words, not mine)
  • Parents knew she had emotional issues even with her friends

Now, at the point of 'escalation' in the article, the mom is doing nothing to get her off the computer either: mom says log off, girl stays on, mom scolds her, girl cries, girl cries some more, mom relents. They're "all over it", right?

So then what happened to being "all over it" that morning? If you aren't there to supervise, and your child has a history of putting too much emotion and weight on this situation, then WHY DID YOU ALLOW YOUR CHILD BACK INTO THIS SITUATION?

Myspace could do this, myspace could do that. You know what? Real life can do the exact same thing. If your kid isn't emotionally prepared for MySpace, then real life is going to kill them.

Darwinism is still alive and well, afterall.
 
Sxotty said:
Considering the content of the article the question must be asked is this real?
http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&q=tina+meier&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wn
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Well, the news agency looks legitimate, and the link was from their front page, so it appears so.

Al-

From the looks of it the parents were hardly to blame. The girl obviously suffered from depression, and talking about suicide in the third grade is hardly normal. The mother appears to have monitored her daughter's activity better than anyone I know who monitors their children's activity online, in terms of Myspace that is. I work with numerous individuals who are completely oblivious to the happenings of Myspace, yet let their children peruse it daily, virtually inviting complete strangers into their lives. A lot of people aren't aware of what little security does exist, therefore they leave profiles public, which is fodder for numerous predators. In fact, at one point I had to explain how dangerous sites like Myspace can be to a woman I work with, when the topic of her daughter's activity online came into conversation. Myspace can be useful, to some degree as a social networking utility, and even though I don't support it whatsoever, doesn't mean realistically my detesting it will make it go away. But what SHOULD happen is a series of laws pertaining to internet crimes should be written, so tragedies such as this never occur, or people don't feel raped of justice. I know of none.
 
Anyone who lets their child use Myspace has it coming, frankly. There is also a reason why their is a mass exodus of sorts to Facebook. It is much more private.
 
Ink said:
Al-

From the looks of it the parents were hardly to blame. The girl obviously suffered from depression, and talking about suicide in the third grade is hardly normal.
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So what was someone who's barely a teenager, suffers from depression, and in need of physical activity doing on the computer? I'm a parent, and I AM THE BOSS. Which means if I let my kid do something, and it results in them getting in trouble or causing trouble, I'm at least partially (if not more) to blame. If your kid can't disconnect their reality from some random online people, either there's a mental issue involved or you aren't doing your job as a parent to educate your kid.

Ignorance of what your child does does not disconnect you from blame. If your kid kills puppies and you have "no clue", there's still a very strong indication of bad parenting. In other words, as a parent, it is your JOB to get into your kids' business.

What laws would you have put in place to "fix" this? Making a law to force parents to protect their kids would be FAR more useful than some arbitratry requirement for websites to do some (easily-circumvented) lookup on how old you are and if you're allowed to do things.

If you can't keep kids from getting illegal drivers licenses, how are you going to keep them from joining social websites?
 
Albuquerque said:
So what was someone who's barely a teenager, suffers from depression, and in need of physical activity doing on the computer? I'm a parent, and I AM THE BOSS. Which means if I let my kid do something, and it results in them getting in trouble or causing trouble, I'm at least partially (if not more) to blame. If your kid can't disconnect their reality from some random online people, either there's a mental issue involved or you aren't doing your job as a parent to educate your kid.

Ignorance of what your child does does not disconnect you from blame. If your kid kills puppies and you have "no clue", there's still a very strong indication of bad parenting. In other words, as a parent, it is your JOB to get into your kids' business.

What laws would you have put in place to "fix" this? Making a law to force parents to protect their kids would be FAR more useful than some arbitratry requirement for websites to do some (easily-circumvented) lookup on how old you are and if you're allowed to do things.

If you can't keep kids from getting illegal drivers licenses, how are you going to keep them from joining social websites?
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I don't disagree with you, but the situation reminds me a lot of people who attempt to shelter their children completely from violent forms of media. It's nearly impossible. Albeit, the mother did have complete control over the account, the article did specify she held on to the username and password. And to be honest, I can only go by how the article described the scenario, their seemed to be extenuating circumstances that prevented the mother from taking immediate action and stopping her daughter from engaging in the conversation. She, like most people, probably didn't assume automatically the outcome would be so dire. The example of killing puppies and having a Myspace account is sort of apples and oranges. Obviously, you present able minded parents those two options are sources of entertainment for their teenager, and unless the mother is Lizzy Borden and the father is Ted Bundy, I can't imagine either of them choosing the less socially acceptable.... The point is most parents at first glance assume sites like Myspace are harmless, but as much as I like to see the site sink like the Titanic for this and the other countless tragedies that have resulted from it's users, the girl's emotional status did play a large part. But countering depression isn't exactly an overnight ordeal. And provided the parents had any idea what could potentially happen, I'm sure they, along with the parents of girls who end up missing after pursuing dates from the site, would never expose their child to it.
 
Ink said:
I don't disagree with you, but the situation reminds me a lot of people who attempt to shelter their children completely from violent forms of media. It's nearly impossible.
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See, and even that is an example of bad parenting IMO.

Parenting IS (and always should be) about preparing your kid for real life. Violence occurs in real life. Sex occurs in real life. Paying bills and saving money exists in real life. Trying to "shelter" your kid from violence, sex, and any other responsibility is just setting them up for failure.

That doesn't mean your kid needs to watch Friday the 13th when he's four, or NC17 "Debbie does Dallas" either. Nor does he need to fully understand why saving at least half of his allowance is non-optional at this stage in his life.

Maybe the real law that needs to be instituted is a requirement to talk to your kids at least twice a day. You can never shelter them from things they "discover" in day care or school, but putting yourself in a position of trust by allowing them to talk to you about everything also puts you into a position of being able to help them understand why things are the way they are, along with right and wrong.

If this whole story is true, then I'm never going to relent from saying it's a parenting problem -- 100% -- for both kids. Just one instance of good parenting in this situation would have circumvented the whole issue.
 
I think their names should be made public and the public will see justice done.

As for blaming her parents, seems to me they were pretty vigilant but even if they were totally negligent,the true criminals are the scum that made the hoax.

Hang'em on the village green, thats what I say.
 
I have to say it sounded (from the article) like the parents did a superb job actually. She called and checked on her while she was away. She wasn't at the house to get her off, they had other kids...
 
When I read things like this.. I realize just how out of the "social" internet I am. I have logged onto myspace maybe once. And have never been back. When people tell me to look at their myspace I've always been "sure ya I'll do that..."

But I never really do...
 
One of my pet peeves... no accountability these days. It wasn't the parents fault; the child chose to take her own life. As for the people who drove her to it, I seem to recall falsifiers (impersonators) reside in the 8th circle.
 
Typical Myspace bullshit. I'm royally glad I didn't stick around for it. I feel sorry for the kid but, Myspace... this is the kind of crap you get with it.
 
I don't get Myspace. Could someone explain it to me? All I see when I go there are horribly designed personal pages that qualify as usability attrocities and appartently you can put music there and you have a profile and you can add people as "friends" or something.

But what's the point?
 
Sxotty said:
I have to say it sounded (from the article) like the parents did a superb job actually. She called and checked on her while she was away. She wasn't at the house to get her off, they had other kids...
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Agree completely.
 
I agree with Albuquerque. The kid had obviously some phychical problems and it is the parent's and school's fault for not addressing them. She was already highly mentaly unstable. Why do I think so? Well, as a kid I was often ill, I got beaten up all the time and every kid on the block made fun of me. But strangely, I never though about suicide...

Of course, this doesn't justify that pranker scum's behaviour. Actually he should be accused of child abuse.
 
L233 said:
I don't get Myspace. Could someone explain it to me? All I see when I go there are horribly designed personal pages that qualify as usability attrocities and appartently you can put music there and you have a profile and you can add people as "friends" or something.

But what's the point?
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I know a few people that use it. I don't understand it either, really. I don't like pretending that the Internet can be an effective social platform. Using Myspace is obviously nothing like hanging out with real people in the real world. I gave the place a shot a while back, but I just don't like the idea of having a "me page" on which to bare my soul to the web. It seems very shallow and childish and is not really socially fulfilling to me at all because I prefer real people talking to me in person.

But, I can see what Myspace means to its fans. It's a way for them to believe they are telling the whole world all about themselves. In the process, they seem to think they are connecting and attaining significant acquaintances. You can sort of network with real world friends on there too, but the interaction is so limited and basically one-sided (me page!) that I'm not sure why it's so exciting. I think that for most people there is a lot less stress on Myspace than talking to people in person. But obviously for some people, it doesn't stay that way.
 
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Zengar said:
I agree with Albuquerque. The kid had obviously some phychical problems and it is the parent's and school's fault for not addressing them. She was already highly mentaly unstable.
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The parents certainly tried.

She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had attention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third grade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had seen a therapist.
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Hindsight is always 20/20.
 
swaaye said:
It seems very shallow and childish and is not really socially fulfilling to me at all because I prefer real people talking to me in person.
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Like this forum :p
No really though I think that stuff is silly but my cousin roped me into making a facebook thing actually she made it b/c I refused to put effort forth to help facebook profiteer off of me. I was watching a movie at the time :).
 
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