Funny redneck story

homerdog

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I went to somebody's house today to sell them a piece of oxygen equipment. I walked in the house and immediately had a wtf moment. Staring at me was the single ugliest creature I'd ever seen. it looked to be a really fucked up bird with no feathers. The guy then explained to me that it was his pet cockatoo. His wife had left him a few days ago and threw the bird in the trashcan on her way out. He didn't find it till two days later, and apparently cockatoos pluck their feathers when they're nervous. This thing must have been pretty ticked because it picked itself completely bald.

The guy only paid a quarter of what he was supposed to and told me he'd pay the rest next month. I should have taken his fucking bird as collateral lol.
 
apparently cockatoos pluck their feathers when they're nervous

Should cross them with turkeys, to produce a bird that eats lots of stuffing and butter and plucks itself on the run-up to Christmas/Thanksgiving/Hangover, then takes a running jump into the nearest plastic bag.
 
Many of these type of intelligent bird pull their feathers just from the stress of being caged and being left alone. Birds, IMHO, don't belong in cages.
 
some cats do the same thing, when we moved our last cat was pulling out parts of his fur
 
Not sure where the "funny" is in this thread. I rather find it tragic that someone can be so childishly vindictive and petty they take out their frustrations on a helpless animal.

Maybe she's always hated that bird, I've no idea, but she was leaving anyway so why torture it?

Sometimes I have absolutely no faith at all in humanity.
 
It was one of the funniest looking things I've ever seen.

And if you're worried about the bird, don't. It's feathers are growing back and it doesn't seem to remember the incident at all.
 
a friend's greatparents had/have a gray parrot, very superficially looking like that cuckatoo, but actually a creepy bird making strange noise and always looking stressed and agressive.

once it escaped, went missing and cut a by-stander's finger in the process :oops:
 
And if you're worried about the bird, don't. It's feathers are growing back and it doesn't seem to remember the incident at all.

More worried about the deranged mental person that threw the bird in the bin to be honest.
 
Bird ownership is ridiculous. I've always been intrigued by the notion of owning a bird, but a friend of mine, who works at a store that sells birds and reptiles, has almost turned me off completely to the concept of owning one. Apparently, they're extremely costly, and high maintenance. Obviously, price can vary depending on the type of bird, but most of the ones he described in his store had a sizable price tag attached to them. Stores like Petco, who I'm adamant about boycotting due to the treatment of their animals and conditions they're sold in, will sell you a finch for 4 bucks, and you'd be lucky if it survived the car ride home. Exotic birds, like Conures, are apparently pretty good house pets (my friend owns a few) but can be rather tedious to maintain. Unfortunately, some owners, like the woman Homer described, are neglectful and don't really know how to treat their pets, which drastically shortens their life expectancy. Speaking of, parrots have a gigantic life expectancy, around 50 years or so I've heard.

Birds also molt. Which sounds like what Homer described, with the feather loss, but I didn't know they plucked when anxious.

Unfortunately, I'm in no position to own a bird, albeit it's been a dream of mine for a long time. Maybe some day I'll have the money, and venture out and buy a Myna, which I've always been fond of. Apparently, Myna's have extensive vocabularies, retaining and speaking up to full sentences.
 
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More worried about the deranged mental person that threw the bird in the bin to be honest.

For real. There is a reason I titled this "funny redneck story". God I can't stand rednecks. But they do give me lulz like this every now and then.

@Dresden the bird apparently cost at least a few hundred dollars, which is a few hundred dollars too much IMO.
 
This is still a human being we're talking about here; his wife left him and threw what is surely a friend to him in a trash can on her way out. Maybe take a step back and be thankful your in such a better position than this poor guy.
 
Thanks for that. Just so you know I don't have any problem with the guy. I let him keep a machine that he couldn't even pay for ffs.

His bitch wife otoh can die in a fire if she thinks torturing an innocent animal is ever an appropriate course of action for revenge.
 
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