[Natoma]

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The
chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle
ground here.

AL GORE
Immediately after I was born in a modest log cabin that I built
with my own hands in Tennessee, I invented the chicken. I also invented
the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of government in a new,
reinvented
way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a Gas-Guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
Crossing-the-Road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars-and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money-money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what they call it "the other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens 'til we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, -- But why it crossed, I've not been
told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
e-Chicken.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define "chicken," please?

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

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My stomach is still hurting after I got this email.

p.s.: ty stvn.

[Sabastian]

Oh, my sakes what an absolute riot. Nice to read something light/funny all politics aside. Good one.

[Simon F]

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken.

[MuFu]

Why did the surrealist cross the road?

A fish.

[Reverend]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because no chick can resist the calling of Ron Jeremy.

[Mariner]

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken.

Hmmm. Last time, I heard that joke, the pervert was interacting with the chicken in a different manner!