View Full Version : best friend's wife (uh-oh)
yup. uh-oh. not a good situation.
nutball
18-Jul-2005, 15:37
LOL! Oops. Yeah, they can be tricky.
digitalwanderer
18-Jul-2005, 15:41
yup. uh-oh. not a good situation.
Dude, it is sooo wrong on so many levels that I can honestly say if you're meaning that you slept with another man's wife I'm truly disapointed in you. :(
The Dig don't do the infidelity thing nor condones it, on any side of the equation.
no, i didnt, and wont.
but the situation is still complicated.
Tell him that his wife tried to fuck you. It's what I would expect from my friends.
and fuck her anyway :lol:
i did it, it was one of the best one nights I had muhehhee :twisted:
Hellbinder
18-Jul-2005, 17:43
and fuck her anyway :lol:
i did it, it was one of the best one nights I had muhehhee :twisted:
Congradulations.. Welcome to the land of Broken trust, Sleazyness, and adultry.
Is it any wonder what the state of the world is today with people thinking the way theu do. Total self gratification and nothing else takes up about 90% of peoples energy. Regardless of the price to be paid at the end.
nonono, here's the situation.
Let's call my friend Tim. Tim has a wife named Kim. I met Tim through a previous job and we are amazingly alike. Even physically quite similar. Only difference is he's a few years ahead of me in life (28ish i think). So, we have naturally become pretty good friends over the last few months. Kim and I also have a lot in common, we're almost opposite gender of the same person. So, of course, we quite enjoy each others company. But, remember, I'm a lot like her husband so obviously I'm her type. And, I never get into arguments or anything with her (which is unavoidable on occasion if you live with someone). So, she has become attracted to me. He knows that and it has been really bothering him and making him all pissy. He's paranoid that she's going to leave him for me. Over the weekend I helped her with a paper for a graduate course she's taking. Last night she was making plans to come over to my place today to bring me the latest version. I get home at 5:30, she gets out of class at 4:30, so she was going to meet me there right about when i got there. But, because of traffic (easy to get into dallas, impossible to get out between 4 and 6) she's have to stay around for 0.5-1 hour. So, she suggested we get lunch / dinner. He then told her "I can't believe you're going this to me!" Kim doesnt have a lot of friends and isnt very social, Tim often tells her she should be more social. If I were a girl there wouldnt be any problem here :(
Kim and I did have a little discussion yesterday in which we discussed whats going on between us... I was quite amazed to hear someone (especially someone married) tell me that they're attracted to me. And she also told said that "the animal part of me just want to..." but then also that despite that, the rational part of her brain will never allow that to happen because she does take marriage very seriously and she's not going to have an affair.
She accidentally let it slip the other night when they were having one of their emotional arguments that he'd had an affair. Most things they are totally open about with everyone (they'll have loud, emotional arguments in front of people and not care) but this, as soon as it was said, everyone got quiet and finally he said to her "that's between us" and that was like a big deal.
she asked me if she thought a man and a woman could be just friends. i said yes but im not too sure about that.
MasterBaiter
18-Jul-2005, 18:37
Doh... it's just sounds bad. I hate to say it, but the guy has every reason to not trust, and even be jealous (which is a terrible thing to be in my mind) of this relationship. There are just too many roads that end badly where this could go. I think this is one of those situations where you need to show the better judgement, and only socialize with her when her husband is around, and perhaps it would be better to minimize interaction with them for a spell and do your own thing.
nonono, here's the situation.
blah, blah...
I want her. Badly.
Do what you think is right and you won't regret it. Be open-minded, listen, watch (out), learn and then move on and use that knowledge. That's the way it works, you see it yourself.
digitalwanderer
18-Jul-2005, 19:52
End it now! Talk to your friend and be open with him about it.
John Reynolds
18-Jul-2005, 19:55
F*ck her. For the love of God, f*ck her for me! For meeeeee!!
I had a similar experience in the late 80s. Didn't turn out so well. Some stones are best left unturned.
And if I was the husband, she'd be out of my life in no time. If he's such an idiot than he deserves it.
[PHYLOSOPHER MODE]
She'll do it with someone else anyway if not with you, so why shouldn't YOU use the possibility and just enjoy it? You would like to, I get? But DON'T START A RELATIONSHIP, that will always end in something very bad.
[/PHYLOSOPHER MODE]
digitalwanderer
18-Jul-2005, 20:07
I'm not trying to tell you to do the right thing necessarily because it IS the "right thing to do", I'm advising you to avoid this whole adventure because I can pretty much guarantee you that NOTHING good will come of it.
Dude, you don't want to get involved with someone elses relationship as it's failing...you're just giving them someone to focus their blame/anger on, and you're going to be getting a rebound relationship with the wife at best and she IF you happen to really get a relationship out of it (highly doubtful) you'll be starting off from the get go with a whole lot of baggage.
Bad, BAD plan...totally a lose/lose situation. :(
Acert93
18-Jul-2005, 20:13
You call him your "best friend".
If that is true, friends do not boink said friends' significant others.
If you wish for him to continue being your friend it would be best to stop interacting at a personal one-on-one level with his wife. If you were his friend you may also consider they get marriage counselling to deal with these types of issues.
Finally, think about it: If you were married and had made vows with a woman, how would you feel of "Tim" decided to boink your wife and to defile that committment?
Blah blah blah Golden Rule. You ge the jist. If the Golden Rule does not apply, the karma. If that does not work... well, basic friends pact: Only scum sleap with their friends gf/wife!
John Reynolds
18-Jul-2005, 20:14
Worst story (from a man's perspective) that I know of. My wife used to work with this nurse who was married and who started having an affair on her husband with a co-worker. She gets pregnant, has a little girl, divorces her husband, and subsequently marries the boyfriend. Now, the kicker is that the first husband believes the daughter is his. A few years go by and the new hubbie starts running his mouth around work about how he'd been banging his wife while seh was married to the first husband. This eventually gets back to the old hubbie, who decides to have a little testing done. Sure enough, the little girl, now around age 5-6, isn't his. He'd been paying child support all along (the divorce occurred within a few months after the girl was born). Talk about absolutely heart breaking (and makes me very glad my only child is her daddy writ small <g>).
The wife started having an affair on hubbie #2 with a co-worker, eventually doing a divorce/remarry repeat (sans pregnancy). Karma sure is a bitch.
My advice is to kill her and your best friend. It's a radical solution, I know, but I think it will be for the best. Let me know how it works out.
If you do like her stay close and wait for them to break up on thier own. It will most likely happen as he has cheated on her .
My advice is to kill her and your best friend. It's a radical solution, I know, but I think it will be for the best. Let me know how it works out.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Acert93
18-Jul-2005, 20:38
Wow, very sad John. Sorry to hear that bad stuff on your side :(
Adultery/infidelity can really screw up a home. Almost guaranteed.
I knew a gentleman whose father, married for 30 years, was sleeping with his fiancé and got her pregnant :shock: Imagine how he felt when she told him, "I am pregnant... with your dad's child".
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/wuerg/vomit-smiley-024.gif
From a relationship perspective adultry is not really a "high reward" type deal. If you cheat with someone they would cheat on you, so there is nothing of substance. From the human perspective you are helping to crap all over someone elses life--and that often includes children :(
People find it easy enough to screw up their own lives without having other people "help".
guys! I'm not gonna frikking sleep with her. jeez. i'd rather have her as a friend i can talk to and hang out with and all of that crap than boink her. They're both my best friend. Actually, only friends atm.
guys! I'm not gonna frikking sleep with her. jeez. i'd rather have her as a friend i can talk to and hang out with and all of that crap than boink her. They're both my best friend. Actually, only friends atm.
If you really think about it, you'll realize that that's a blatant lie. Don't persuade your self into that shit. Either you'll sleep with her, or stop seeing them both. Black or white, no other options.
If you really think about it, you'll realize that that's a blatant lie. Don't persuade your self into that shit. Either you'll sleep with her, or stop seeing them both. Black or white, no other options.
now why do you say that?
digitalwanderer
18-Jul-2005, 21:03
If you really think about it, you'll realize that that's a blatant lie. Don't persuade your self into that shit. Either you'll sleep with her, or stop seeing them both. Black or white, no other options.
I hate to say it, but the man is right. You can delude yourself that you're only going to see her as friends, but you know damned well where it is leading and you ain't the one leading it there so you ain't got no confrol over it.
Get yourself out of the situation, period.
she's not going to go there and neither am i. its called self-control. besides, its not like i see her every day. and pretty soon im going to be living like over an hour away from them and will be surrounded by hot girls so it wont be much of an issue then.
3dilettante
18-Jul-2005, 21:20
My advice is to kill her and your best friend. It's a radical solution, I know, but I think it will be for the best. Let me know how it works out.
Nuke the planet from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Amen. The ultimate solution.
but then i would never get laid again by anyone!!!! :shock:
Druga Runda
18-Jul-2005, 23:02
Amen. The ultimate solution.
the ultimate soplution is to go to Iraq and join the troops... as she will surely not go together with your former friend
epicstruggle
18-Jul-2005, 23:24
F*ck her. For the love of God, f*ck her for me! For meeeeee!!
I had a similar experience in the late 80s. Didn't turn out so well. Some stones are best left unturned.
Damn i need a good laugh. thanks. :)
epic
digitalwanderer
18-Jul-2005, 23:33
she's not going to go there and neither am i. its called self-control.
No, it's called a disaster waiting to happen. :roll:
blakjedi
19-Jul-2005, 00:38
Dont do it son. Do nt do it. Run dont walk away. Save yourself the hassle...and do it for yourself. SHE isnt worth it but YOU (probably) are.
Heheh reading the above. All I can think of is, "...and then there are gay people." :P
A few years back I got involved with this cute couple, Phil and Derek. They were real nice guys and kind of made you go "awwww" that they were relatively young, but pretty committed (this is rare amongst my people..).
Anyhow, we had a few hot and fun encounters, and boy, did Phil and I REALLY get along :P However, I started to notice that Phil was way more into me/"it" than Derek. It became pretty obvious that Derek wasn't too keen on the 3some idea and only went along with it for Phil. To make matters worse, Phil starts calling me, wanting to meet for lunch, etc. outside of the bedroom. Given the chemistry we had together, I was and wasn't surprised at the same time. The last thing I wanted to be was a homewrecker, so I quietly backed out of things with the both of them and made a white lie about having a boyfriend (hah, ironic eh?)
Self gratification is great and all - hell, at the end of the day you only have yourself - but shitting all over other people to get it is just not cool. Or to look at it another way, how would you feel if some asshole came in and wrecked your happy, peaceful existence?
shitting all over other people to get it is just not cool.
yup, that's why nothing is going to happen. i dont get why some people are telling me to go for it, there is no debate. its not gonna happen. no matter how badly i want it to, i will not do it and neither will she.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 01:58
how would you feel if some asshole came in and wrecked your happy, peaceful existence?
And do you think it will make them crazy enough to kill you over? :|
(And no, I'm not joking one tiny little bit.)
how would you feel if some asshole came in and wrecked your happy, peaceful existence?
And do you think it will make them crazy enough to kill you over? :|
(And no, I'm not joking one tiny little bit.)
IM NOT GONNA SLEEP WITH HER!!!!!
geez people get it through your heads. its absolutely not gonna happen.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 02:18
geez people get it through your heads. its absolutely not gonna happen.
Keep telling yourself that and doing what you're doing, I'm pretty sure you really almost believe it.
Keep telling yourself that and doing what you're doing, I'm pretty sure you really almost believe it.
yeah as long as i keep telling myself that then it wont happen.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 02:22
yeah as long as i keep telling myself that then it wont happen.
If you honestly believe that then you ain't being truthful with yourself. :(
why are you so convinced that it will happen? its not like she's my only hope at getting laid, im about to be going to a womens college!!! And whats between us is not primarily sexual attraction.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 02:33
why are you so convinced that it will happen?
Because of your previous postings on the subject of women and getting laid as well as your lack-o-comprehension at just how much trouble you are already in. :?
You're already in a bad spot, continuing is just going to make it worse.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
19-Jul-2005, 02:44
I would guess that she's looking on you as the nicer version of her husband that didn't cheat on her, and he's all miserable and unhappy because he can see her feelings for you. So being with her husband makes her unhappy (because he's miserable and accusing), and you're fun and an emotional rescue from her currently bad home life.
Sage, you are already having an *emotional affair* with this woman. For her, it's already intimate. She's told you she's attracted despite the fact she's married to your best friend. You are already breaking up their relationship, even if you're not having sex until she's dumped him and then you can convince yourself it was nothing to do with you.
Whatever happens, however it works out in the long run, people are *already* hurt, and it can only get worse. You and your friends (including her) may not be able to recover or forgive that when all the dust settles.
actually, i tlaked to her on the phone a while after work. she said that they had a loooong chat last night and are both feeling better about it. just because she's attracted to me doesnt me she wants to leave him or cheat on him. he recognized that he's not at all trusting and it's something he needs to work on. he's not feeling so bad anymore.
oh yeah, this guy is, in my uneducated opinion, just as bipolar as I am.
All the people in this thread are stupid... Yes, you are. 2 Pages and no one asked the only one question there is to be asked:
Is she hot? Or at least, pardon my french, fuckable?
If yes, fuck her like an animal, fuck her gently, fuck her good, make sweet love to her and then:
a) Just forget about it. That's it. What about morality you may ask? You got yourself some sweet ass, and that's the best moral ever. Or just spin the Animaniacs Wheel of Morality (http://home.eunet.no/~rfyri/Animaniacs/moral.html).
b) Be a man about it, and enter interminable arguments about this.
That could leads to the suicide or homicidal death of one of the people involved. (Which is Kind of cool, when you think about it).
c) You could ask yourself, what would the General Sherman do in this situation. And then burn to ashes Atlanta.
d) Do what Ron Hubbard would do. Put a a few Hydrogen bombs in the center of a Volcano near their houses, and let it be.
If not, don't do anything, and then:
a) Tell her that you like her as a friend. Use " LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS™".
b) Pimp-slap her for thinking you're desperate enough to have sexual intercourse with her. And then pimp-slap her husband for marrying ugly bitches in heat.
c) Tell you friend that his (*ugly) wife wanted to ride your pony. And then lay back, chillax, and enjoy the show! Ha ha! *Don't say this loud!
d) Do what Ron Hubbard would do. Put a a few Hydrogen bombs in the center of a Volcano near their houses, and let it be.
If any of you want personalized marital counseling, you can send me a PM, I'll be glad to help friends in need. :)
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 03:27
I like the hydrogen bomb & volcano idea. http://mastabeta.com/forum/images/smilies/yep.gif
epicstruggle
19-Jul-2005, 05:31
3 pages of content. Before we hit 5, i suggest we get pictures of her!! No use debating further unless we can tell if its worth it or not. :twisted:
epic
I like the hydrogen bomb & volcano idea. http://mastabeta.com/forum/images/smilies/yep.gif
Ron Hubard was a smart guy. No doubts about it.
Mariner
19-Jul-2005, 11:19
IM NOT GONNA SLEEP WITH HER!!!!!
geez people get it through your heads. its absolutely not gonna happen.
Ah - so neither of you drink alcohol then? :wink:
God knows, I'd never get laid if it wasn't for the booze...
nutball
19-Jul-2005, 11:20
I've been in these sorts of triangles too many times... fortunately not with my BMW (Best Mate's Wife)... but other mates long-term womens.
In all of the cases it's been the woman doing the driving ... usually they're in long-term relationships that they're starting to question, and are probably in the "grass is greener" phase. In all cases there have been scenarios where ... something could have happened... alone together, drunk, her pissed off with the other, the usual crap.
In none of the cases did I actually do anything about it. Well... not as far as I'm concerned anyway. [I guess where you draw the line is down to the individual point-of-view, but in essence I got zero monkey sex out of any of this emotional crap, and that's where I draw the line].
In most of the cases I got the blame like I *had* done something. I did the time, even though I didn't do the crime. Sometimes the blame came from her, sometimes from him, but the point was I was guilty until proven innocent.
What have I learned from this? Firstly, women are two-faced manipulative bitches. Secondly, avoid such situations at all costs. Thirdly, if you can't avoid the situation, do the monkey sex, 'cos you're gonna pay the price for it even if you don't.
london-boy
19-Jul-2005, 11:21
Stay away. As a relationship/family ruiner myself, i'm telling you. Stay away.
Thirdly, if you can't avoid the situation, do the monkey sex, 'cos you're gonna pay the price for it even if you don't.
Exactly.
bah, chill out people. we're just friends.
and she did ask me if she "wasnt attached would (she) be fuckable?" (as I have often used that word in front of her to describe women) to which I simply replied "more"
Guden Oden
19-Jul-2005, 14:06
You guys - well, except Sage I guess - are all pretty sorry examples of the male half of the species. You know, it IS possible to be friends with a woman you think is desireable without screwing her at every opportunity that comes across. If you don't believe this, you've got issues mmkay? Get yourself an appointment with a shrink specialized in gender issues, because you obviously have problems relating to women as people and not just meat that can be fucked... :roll:
*claps for Guden*
yay, one person believes me at least!
And if I was the husband, she'd be out of my life in no time. If he's such an idiot than he deserves it.
[PHYLOSOPHER MODE]
She'll do it with someone else anyway if not with you, so why shouldn't YOU use the possibility and just enjoy it? You would like to, I get? But DON'T START A RELATIONSHIP, that will always end in something very bad.
[/PHYLOSOPHER MODE]
I'm with him!
funk her bad and leave her she will do it anyway if it isnt you it will be someone else
epicstruggle
19-Jul-2005, 14:13
*claps for Guden*
yay, one person believes me at least!
I havent weighed in until we get pics. 8)
epic
You guys - well, except Sage I guess - are all pretty sorry examples of the male half of the species. You know, it IS possible to be friends with a woman you think is desireable without screwing her at every opportunity that comes across. If you don't believe this, you've got issues mmkay? Get yourself an appointment with a shrink specialized in gender issues, because you obviously have problems relating to women as people and not just meat that can be fucked... :roll:
face it, no man can just be friends with a woman (or if you are gay thats something else)
the beast within is always looming
PatrickL
19-Jul-2005, 14:20
We need a picture of her to decide is she is worth the trouble :twisted:
nutball
19-Jul-2005, 14:33
You guys - well, except Sage I guess - are all pretty sorry examples of the male half of the species. You know, it IS possible to be friends with a woman you think is desireable without screwing her at every opportunity that comes across. If you don't believe this, you've got issues mmkay? Get yourself an appointment with a shrink specialized in gender issues, because you obviously have problems relating to women as people and not just meat that can be fucked...
Maybe I've missed something, but I don't think that anyone in this thread has said that it is impossible to be friends (oh, my bad, hey69 just said it, but with a nickname like that whose suprised).
I was under the impression that this thread wasn't about women in general, or a specific woman in general situations, but that it was about a specific woman in a specific situation.
EDIT: Bah, enough already.
Nite_Hawk
19-Jul-2005, 14:45
You guys - well, except Sage I guess - are all pretty sorry examples of the male half of the species. You know, it IS possible to be friends with a woman you think is desireable without screwing her at every opportunity that comes across. If you don't believe this, you've got issues mmkay? Get yourself an appointment with a shrink specialized in gender issues, because you obviously have problems relating to women as people and not just meat that can be fucked... :roll:
face it, no man can just be friends with a woman (or if you are gay thats something else)
the beast within is always looming
True enough, but it's not like it is impossible. Sage, I don't know the details of what is going on enough to say anything, but I have some advice. Don't be fooled into thinking that sex is the betrayal. Sure sex can be a betrayal, but ultimately it is because you broke the trust of the other person. A worse betrayal (in both mine and my wifes' opinion) is to start falling in love with another person and not stopping it. At least with sex, it can be something along the lines of "I was drunk and horny and couldn't resist the temptation" sort of affair. It is regretable and hurts the other person, but it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is totally broken. When you consciously decide to persue a relationship with someone else that is beyond just friendship though, things are a lot worse. At some level you aren't happy with their companionship and are looking for someone else to fill in the blanks. Personally, I think this shows a much deeper flaw in the relationship, and I don't think you want to be the person filling those blanks in.
Either way, good luck. I hope it really is as straight-forward as you say.
Nite_Hawk
Nite_Hawk
face it, no man can just be friends with a woman (or if you are gay thats something else)
the beast within is always looming
The other way around, no woman can just be friends with a man.
I have quite a few female friends. Either they're not attractive, or I already had sex with them and that turned into friendship afterwards, or I feel attracted to them subconciously. Anyway, even if there's no sex, there's sexual attraction involved this way or the other, otherwise the friendship thingy wouldn't work as well.
bah, you guys who say that a woman and man cannot be just friends are incorrect. i've had a number of female friends. in fact, my closest friends have all been femal.e yes, i boinked one of them, wanted to boink another, but it wasnt an issue.
yes, i boinked one of them, wanted to boink another, but it wasnt an issue.
Hehe, exactly what I'm saying, ain't it? There is always some attraction there from whichever side, doesn't matter if anything happens or not. The fact is, it could happen anytime.
Hehe, exactly what I'm saying, ain't it? There is always some attraction there from whichever side, doesn't matter if anything happens or not. The fact is, it could happen anytime.
nope, doesnt mean it COULD and doesnt mean it has to interfere with the friendship
nutball
19-Jul-2005, 15:41
bah, you guys who say that a woman and man cannot be just friends are incorrect. i've had a number of female friends. in fact, my closest friends have all been femal.e yes, i boinked one of them, wanted to boink another, but it wasnt an issue.
Errr... :?
I might be misinterpreting here but I think that the point being made is that it's tough for a man and a woman to be friends without there being some underlying sexual attraction. They may or may not act on that attraction, but it's there nevertheless.
So I'm not quite sure how your statement argues against that. :?
EDIT: without, not with
well one of them i dated long before we were friends. once we became friends we were just friends, there were no issues whatsoever.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 16:05
well one of them i dated long before we were friends. once we became friends we were just friends, there were no issues whatsoever.
And how many husbands did she have? :|
And how many husbands did she have? :|
none at the time. however, she's married now and he doesnt like me and doesnt allow her to talk to me anymore.
Mariner
19-Jul-2005, 16:24
The "men and women can't just be friends" thing is what I like to call a load of old bollocks. I can think of several female friends of mine who are attractive girls yet I don't want to hump them. A couple of these girls in particular I've known since I was a young kid and I see them in a sister-like way and just have no attraction to them whatsoever.
On the other hand, one of my friends has a wife who I get on well with and I am quite attracted to her. I wouldn't do anything about it even if the opportunity arose, however because as previously mentioned, she is my friend's wife.
Personally, I always get the impression that the "men can't be just friends with women" camp have a somewhat overblown opinion of their own attractiveness. :P
I can think of several female friends of mine who are attractive girls yet I don't want to hump them.
then you're gay.
A couple of these girls in particular I've known since I was a young kid and I see them in a sister-like way and just have no attraction to them whatsoever.
if i had a sister and she was hot i'd probably want to hump her too
Mariner
19-Jul-2005, 17:08
I can think of several female friends of mine who are attractive girls yet I don't want to hump them.
then you're gay.
Hmm. Let me think (screwing eyes up, frantically trying to think erotic thoughts about dicks and men's buttocks)... Nope, sorry no arousal there so I apparently haven't turned gay in the last 5 minutes or so.
if i had a sister and she was hot i'd probably want to hump her too
Then you're a pervert! :P
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 17:13
Then you're a pervert! :P
Which is why he's in such a sure recipe for disaster right now. http://mastabeta.com/forum/images/smilies/yep.gif
Then you're a pervert! :P
Which is why he's in such a sure recipe for disaster right now. http://mastabeta.com/forum/images/smilies/yep.gif
yesyes, but Kim isnt my sister!
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 17:52
yesyes, but Kim isnt my sister!
Do you want to fuck Kim? :|
John Reynolds
19-Jul-2005, 18:13
Christ, lay off the guy, will ya? If he gives her his little pork sword it won't be the end of the world. Sheesh.
fuck her muehehehhe
http://www.bfi.org.uk/sightandsound/2004_12/images/exorcist.jpg
you guys probably wouldnt consider her hot. im not posting pics so that i do not expose the identity just on the off chance that someone might happen to know her. But, she's not a supermodel. I think she's a very attractive woman but she's not the stereotypical "babe"
{Sniping}Waste
19-Jul-2005, 21:37
why are you so convinced that it will happen?
Because of your previous postings on the subject of women and getting laid as well as your lack-o-comprehension at just how much trouble you are already in. :?
You're already in a bad spot, continuing is just going to make it worse.
Very good advise here and to add to it, Don't be alone with her any were. A 3rd friend should be with you when she is around and that will keep things toned down.
Very good advise here and to add to it, Don't be alone with her any were. A 3rd friend should be with you when she is around and that will keep things toned down.
neither of us really have a lot of 3rd friends. but its not like things get "hot & heavy" anyhow.
RussSchultz
19-Jul-2005, 22:07
Very good advise here and to add to it, Don't be alone with her any were. A 3rd friend should be with you when she is around and that will keep things toned down.
neither of us really have a lot of 3rd friends. but its not like things get "hot & heavy" anyhow.
Maybe if you added a third, it would?
Perhaps you should invite your friend in. Or convince her to convince him to invite you in.
Then you could be a happy little polyamorous gaggle.
I'm sure that'll work out right. ;)
Maybe if you added a third, it would?
Perhaps you should invite your friend in. Or convince her to convince him to invite you in.
Then you could be a happy little polyamorous gaggle.
I'm sure that'll work out right. ;)
i might've jokingly suggested it in the past to test the waters... :oops:
anyhow, she's comming over to my place at 5:30 today to finish going over her paper, then we're going to get something to eat. Dunno if Tim is going to be able to join us for dinner or not.
digitalwanderer
19-Jul-2005, 22:35
Anyone know what the word "baka" means? :roll:
Reverend
20-Jul-2005, 03:07
Man, I'd been looking hard for a good review of "When Harry Met Sally". Thanks guys!
ok she came over, we went to dinner, did her paper, went for a walk. things were akward at times but overall it was ok. she didnt want to leave and i didnt want her to leave but we both knew that there would be ramifications if she didnt and so she did without any troubble. we both agreed that being friends will be hard at times but we can do it.
nutball
20-Jul-2005, 07:55
Ack, that sounds bad, you two really do want to jump each others bones don't you. Just leaving "because there would be ramifications" is asking for trouble.
Have you thought about cold turkey? It can work in these situations. Just avoid each other for three months.
Reverend
20-Jul-2005, 08:34
we both agreed that being friends will be hard at times but we can do it.
Y'know, I'd actually spent quite a bit time thinking about this.
I could go on and on about this but the bottom line for me as far as such, um, "situations" go is that if they don't have any kids, then it isn't, um, "as bad". If they have kids, then just be disciplined and tell her you don't want to see her anymore.
ZoinKs!
20-Jul-2005, 10:54
ok she came over, we went to dinner, did her paper, went for a walk. things were akward at times but overall it was ok. she didnt want to leave and i didnt want her to leave but we both knew that there would be ramifications if she didnt and so she did without any troubble. we both agreed that being friends will be hard at times but we can do it.
Add some alcohol, drugs, or some sort of emotional/hormonal swing, and then it'll all be over. This is a trainwreck that wants to happen.
And even if you don't give in to anything physical, damage is being done to their marriage. An emotional bond that she should have with her husband would instead be forming with someone else. Her relationship to her husbanc will be weakened and possibly broken.
Don't do this.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
20-Jul-2005, 11:50
ok she came over, we went to dinner, did her paper, went for a walk. things were akward at times but overall it was ok. she didnt want to leave and i didnt want her to leave but we both knew that there would be ramifications if she didnt and so she did without any troubble. we both agreed that being friends will be hard at times but we can do it.
Yeah, telling people they can't have what they want doesn't make it any more attractive at all! :roll: As i said earlier, you are already having an affair, you are already breaking up their marriage - just you haven't had sex with her (yet). If you are serious about not trashing your "best friend's" marriage, you'll make sure you're not alone with his wife like this.
You seem to think that everything's okay as long as you are not actually porking your friend's old lady, but in fact you are already ruining their marriage just by what you are doing. As has been previously said, she is building an intimate emotional relationship with you while she is excluding her husband from that. She's getting closer to you, whilst getting more distant from her husband.
Tell me, why would you come to this forum and tell us about this? Are you looking for some kind of support to bolster your current viewpoint of "not having sex with her", or do you want our tacit approval to have hot monkey sex with your friend's wife? You seem to be determined to play the nice guy, but you're ignoring what is actually going on and how you are actually betraying your friend whilst pretending nothing illicit is happening. You're just fooling yourself because (a) you like her, and (b) you're not the nice guy you are pretending to be.
You're just fooling yourself because (a) you like her, and (b) you're not the nice guy you are pretending to be.
Yup, well said.
silence
20-Jul-2005, 12:29
You're just fooling yourself because (a) you like her, and (b) you're not the nice guy you are pretending to be.
Yup, well said.
i think BZB hit the nail.... i wasnt posting here, but i was reading and i was waiting for someone to write just what BZB did.....
Mariner
20-Jul-2005, 13:32
Ignoring all the drama, if you do get your oats, be sure to give her one for me! :wink:
nutball
20-Jul-2005, 13:53
Aye. You gotta choose between
a) Cold Turkey
b) Hot Monkey
"You chose the wrong day to give up meat" (to paraphrase a movie).
so you guys are saying that a person who is married cannot have a close friend other than their husband / wife because that is emotionally cheating and damaging to their marriage?
edit:
and the reason im here talking about this is because i need to get my feeligns out so that they dont build up and screw with my head.
so you guys are saying that a person who is married cannot have a close friend other than their husband / wife because that is emotionally cheating and damaging to their marriage?
The term "friend" is wrong in this context.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
20-Jul-2005, 14:29
so you guys are saying that a person who is married cannot have a close friend other than their husband / wife because that is emotionally cheating and damaging to their marriage?
This isn't about close friendships. This is about two people wanting to make like bunny rabbits and have a relationship, but with the added complication that one of you is married. It is the way you are doing it. Instead of fixing their problems, the husband is unhappy because the wife is spending all her time and emotions with you. The wife is more interested in having an emotional relationship with you than fixing her marriage.
It's not like everyone is happy here and nothing is going to happen. You are attracted to the wife and made no secret of it. The wife is attracted to you and made no secret of it. The husband is unhappy that all this is happening and has had an affair to help drive the wife towards you. He's being hurt and betrayed by her in the same way she's just been hurt and betrayed by him.
You pretending nothing is wrong and you're not having an effect on their marriage is deceiving yourself. You can stop with all the BS about "can't a man and a woman just be friends" because you've already shown this is not the case. You want to screw this woman and have made no secret of it. You've opened the door and invited her to make the moves. She's told you she wants to, but her husband is in the way.
If you keep putting yourself in situations where you basically are having quiet romantic little dates where you share intimacies, it's only a matter of time before you do the dirty on your "best" friend.
How long do you think it's going to be before you convince yourself that the husband is making the wife unhappy and is no good for her? How long before she throws herself at you and convinced you that it's "all right" and it's "what she wants" ? You going to walk away when she's spent days/weeks/months getting close to you, showing you how great you are together, and then turns up naked in your bed?
Man, you are so niave I just want to slap you. Worst of all, you're convincing youself that you are in control of the situation for the sake of your best friend, when you still put yourself in positions that are going to hurt their marriage, tie the wife more closely to you emotionally, and make it more likely you will do the beast with two backs.
If they get divorced in the next year, you can convince yourself that you didn't actually do the breaking, but you sure as hell are contributing to the major faultlines.
Damn, be a man - just f**k her or stop contacting her. There are no other options.
The husband is unhappy that all this is happening and has had an affair to help drive the wife towards you. He's being hurt and betrayed by her in the same way she's just been hurt and betrayed by him.
noooonooonooooo whatever it was with him was long time ago, I've only known them for about 3 or 4 months. his affair had nothing to do with me for sure!
and as for the rest of what you said... we've already brought up the fact that even if he wasnt around nothing serious could work out between us since we're just at different points in our lives. Also, in about a month I'm moving about 40 minutes away from where I am now SO, I will then be about an hour away from them. I will also be surrounded by girls. She and I won't be seeing as much of each other at all. Probably still talk online and on the phone, do group stuff together occasionally, but otherwise not really have emotionally-intimate encounters. Additionally, I am moving to Austin in about a year and so will be even further away. I dont see a reason to just go "cold turkey" and never talk to her again. Things are going to drop off between us naturally pretty soon so there's no reason to make it unpleasant by forcing things.
Nite_Hawk
20-Jul-2005, 18:28
we've already brought up the fact that even if he wasnt around nothing serious could work out between us since we're just at different points in our lives.
Don't you think the fact that you've had this conversation with her means that something other than just being friends is going on? I agree with you in some ways, you can be sexually attracted to a woman, and be her friend, and it can work. The problem is that you're relationship with her isn't just sexual attraction, and it isn't just friendship. If nothing else, think about the torment she must be going through knowing that she is unhappy with her marriage but bound to it, and at the same time happier with you but can't have you. By staying in this state of limbo you only bring pain to yourselves and each other. That is why everyone is telling you to either get on with it, or end it.
Also, in about a month I'm moving about 40 minutes away from where I am now SO, I will then be about an hour away from them. I will also be surrounded by girls. She and I won't be seeing as much of each other at all. Probably still talk online and on the phone, do group stuff together occasionally, but otherwise not really have emotionally-intimate encounters. Additionally, I am moving to Austin in about a year and so will be even further away. I dont see a reason to just go "cold turkey" and never talk to her again. Things are going to drop off between us naturally pretty soon so there's no reason to make it unpleasant by forcing things.
In some cases, not drawing attention to it and letting it slide is a good idea. In this case, you still have a month to screw things up, which is a big opportunity. For the next month you should atleast restrict the kinds of activities you do together. Think of it as a "getting used to not being with her phase". Probably the best thing you can do for your friendship is to go out with other people so she can get used to the idea that you aren't hers. It will be a big shock for her if you start dating all kinds of girls when you move.
Nite_Hawk
Probably the best thing you can do for your friendship is to go out with other people so she can get used to the idea that you aren't hers. It will be a big shock for her if you start dating all kinds of girls when you move.
Well actually she's already set me up a few times with one of her friends and I've gone on a date or two with her friend + Kim and Tim. Also, I'm very open about making comments about other women when I'm talking to her. Hell, she asks me sometimes. And also she is very much aware that I'm going to be getting LOTS of attention in school and told me that I am at a point in my life where she knows I want to do a lot of exploration and meet a lot of womena, and that she thinks its good for me to do.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
20-Jul-2005, 19:49
noooonooonooooo whatever it was with him was long time ago, I've only known them for about 3 or 4 months. his affair had nothing to do with me for sure!
You said she's only recently found out about it, so for her it happening now.
John Reynolds
20-Jul-2005, 19:56
Taboo sex can be some of the best you'll have. Trust me. :twisted:
You said she's only recently found out about it, so for her it happening now.
**I** recently found out about it. hell, it may have been something that he did before they were actually married. i dont know the facts except that it doesnt seem to be a major issue for her anymore, just an old wound that never will completely heal.
Nite_Hawk
20-Jul-2005, 21:15
Taboo sex can be some of the best you'll have. Trust me. :twisted:
I think I'll have to point my wife to this thread for justification. ;)
Nite_Hawk
John Reynolds
20-Jul-2005, 21:22
I think I'll have to point my wife to this thread for justification.
Nite_Hawk
For yourself or for her? :twisted:
The neighbor who used to live right behind us was a fireman and had appeared in the local firefighter's pinup calendar since he was such a muscle-stud (and probably 10-12 years younger than me). Naturally my wife would peak out the french doors whenever he was cutting his backyard (sans shirt, of course) to admire his physique. I sure was glad when he moved out.
The neighbor who used to live right behind us was a fireman and had appeared in the local firefighter's pinup calendar since he was such a muscle-stud (and probably 10-12 years younger than me). Naturally my wife would peak out the french doors whenever he was cutting his backyard (sans shirt, of course) to admire his physique. I sure was glad when he moved out.
HAHAHAHAHA!!
dude that sucks, I would have moved.
epicstruggle
20-Jul-2005, 21:28
Taboo sex can be some of the best you'll have. Trust me. :twisted:
damn another thing im missing out on. :?
John Reynolds
20-Jul-2005, 21:30
HAHAHAHAHA!!
dude that sucks, I would have moved.
Hell no, the cop's wife next door is f'in hot as hell. Blond, about 5'9" tall, perfect body, gorgeous blue eyes, and so dumb she even flirts with me (she likes to touch, which irritates my wife, mainly because I stand there with a ornery glint in my eye loving the attention and she knows it).
I used to love pointing out the colored tube socks stud-boy would wear while cutting the grass. You just can't be sexy while wearing knee-high tube socks.
Hell no, the cop's wife next door is f'in hot as hell. Blond, about 5'9" tall, perfect body, gorgeous blue eyes, and so dumb she even flirts with me (she likes to touch, which irritates my wife, mainly because I stand there with a ornery glint in my eye loving the attention and she knows it).
I used to love pointing out the colored tube socks stud-boy would wear while cutting the grass. You just can't be sexy while wearing knee-high tube socks.
ROFL!
oh, okay, i understand now... hahahahaha
ZoinKs!
21-Jul-2005, 03:48
(she likes to touch, which irritates my wife, mainly because I stand there with a ornery glint in my eye loving the attention and she knows it)
Why do you do this to your wife?
What's wrong with you?
Nite_Hawk
21-Jul-2005, 04:07
(she likes to touch, which irritates my wife, mainly because I stand there with a ornery glint in my eye loving the attention and she knows it)
Why do you do this to your wife?
What's wrong with you?
If she can stare out the window at the hunk-o-fire's glistening naked chest on a hot sunny day, I think John deserves a bit of fair play don't you? :D
Besides, it's fun to have girls flirt with you. While you need to respect the wishes of your wife/husband, it doesn't mean totally depriving yourself of contact with the opposite sex either. It just means establishing boundaries that you don't cross, and if you do cross them you stop and turn around.
Nite_Hawk
John Reynolds
21-Jul-2005, 04:18
If she can stare out the window at the hunk-o-fire's glistening naked chest on a hot sunny day, I think John deserves a bit of fair play don't you? :D
Besides, it's fun to have girls flirt with you. While you need to respect the wishes of your wife/husband, it doesn't mean totally depriving yourself of contact with the opposite sex either. It just means establishing boundaries that you don't cross, and if you do cross them you stop and turn around.
Nite_Hawk
Exactly.
poopypoo
21-Jul-2005, 04:32
wow. i'm going to take a huge risk and not going to read this whole thread, because this subject sort of sickens me. but sage, you've struck me as an amoral bastard from everything i've read on here. so... if you are considering this... i hope you get what's coming to you. you realize, you may very well die just because your fool virgin ass falls for any woman he comes near.
ZoinKs!
21-Jul-2005, 04:53
If she can stare out the window at the hunk-o-fire's glistening naked chest on a hot sunny day, I think John deserves a bit of fair play don't you? :D
Besides, it's fun to have girls flirt with you. While you need to respect the wishes of your wife/husband, it doesn't mean totally depriving yourself of contact with the opposite sex either. It just means establishing boundaries that you don't cross, and if you do cross them you stop and turn around.
Nite_Hawk
Exactly.
If she were posting in this thread, I'd ask her what's wrong with her. :wink:
Maybe she'd tell about some chick you flirted with a few years before the fireman showed up.
So what we'd have here is a case of two people being deliberately and blatantly unkind to each other, and saying it's ok because the other person does it, too.
Bleh.
Nite_Hawk
21-Jul-2005, 06:38
If she can stare out the window at the hunk-o-fire's glistening naked chest on a hot sunny day, I think John deserves a bit of fair play don't you? :D
Besides, it's fun to have girls flirt with you. While you need to respect the wishes of your wife/husband, it doesn't mean totally depriving yourself of contact with the opposite sex either. It just means establishing boundaries that you don't cross, and if you do cross them you stop and turn around.
Nite_Hawk
Exactly.
If she were posting in this thread, I'd ask her what's wrong with her. :wink:
Maybe she'd tell about some chick you flirted with a few years before the fireman showed up.
So what we'd have here is a case of two people being deliberately and blatantly unkind to each other, and saying it's ok because the other person does it, too.
Bleh.
That's really not what it's like. You seem to see this as some kind of payback/justification type of thing. "If he/she can do it, so can I!". That's not it at all. It has more to do with Humans being social creatures, and that flirting with the opposite sex helps us to feel confident about ourselves. Part of loving a person is realizing that you need to let them be themselves, and have a certain degree of independence. In my humble opinion, trying to hold someone too close and demand their exclusive attention is a recipe for disaster in almost all circumstances. This is why I don't mind my wife flirting and getting compliments from (some) guys, and why my wife treats me the same way. We both have limits we expect from the other (neither of us like each other flirting with people who use it to make themselves feel good at the other's expense).
Still, having the freedom to both be in a loving relationship and enjoy interacting with other people (especially of the opposite sex!) is absolutely fantastic. It's like having your cake and eating it too. You get the best benefits of being single and the best benefits of being in a relationship, and minimizing many of the downsides of both.
Really, that is what it all comes down to. Maximizing the benefits for both of us, while minimizing the costs.
Nite_Hawk
Here is what will likely happen.
You will end up having sex with this woman, and then proceed to continue having sex with her for an unknown length of time. All the while you will both be sick with worry trying to hide this from her hubby and everyone else around you.
Your whole life will be turned upside down during this period, but you might find it as exciting as it is draining. Depends on you really.
Eventually, one of two things will happen. She will end up leaving her hubby and having to move in with you immediately, after which point, both of you will have to deal with her guilt and you will never see your 'friend' again.. or her and her hubby will reconcile, and you will never see either of them again. *edit* Actually any number of things could happen, but those are the best case.
You could always have him hanging around and have some kind of wierd relationship, and then maybe you would be the one looking over your shoulder worrying about her and her ex rekindling things one day. A Mess.
It sounds like she is looking for a way to hurt her hubby for cheating on her and she is looking for a way to end her marriage but is not strong enough to do it alone.
But women have been known to cheat with every intent of leaving their hubby, and then have all kinds of guilt and forgotten feelings rush in and change their mind.
It's a crap shoot, and it may take a serious toll on you in the end. Be prepared.
Unknown Soldier
21-Jul-2005, 10:46
yup. uh-oh. not a good situation.
Screw that..
Sage.. If I remember correctly, u said u stay with ur sister and she's hot. Set me up with her. ;)
*edit*
hmm... ok .. reading your comment a few pages ago I take it you don't have a sister. Ok .. so who am I thinking about?
About 6 months ago there was a similar thread on this board and someone mentioned they had a HOT(Model) sister.
:?
US
i think killer has a hot sister or friend .
I have sisters don't think they are hot though
Here is what will likely happen.
You will end up having sex with this woman, and then proceed to continue having sex with her for an unknown length of time. All the while you will both be sick with worry trying to hide this from her hubby and everyone else around you.
Your whole life will be turned upside down during this period, but you might find it as exciting as it is draining. Depends on you really.
That was a smart post. Mainly because that is the thruth, atleast from my own experience. Especially the part about it being draining.
One moment you're happy about your problematic affair and everything feels fine and dandy. Then the next moment can be the opposite of that.
I think one of the main problems in an affair like that is (if you really really like the girl) is the jealousy you will feel when you're not the one spending time with her. Assuming that the girl won't break up with his husband. It consumes you badly and you may end up having thoughts which scares even yourself.
I really don't see the problem .
The husband has already cheated on her . The marriage is already over they just don't know it yet . She is better off with out him and sage fucking her senseless and getting caught will only bring out even greater good . Her being free of a crappy man
Well, it's quite likely that the girl won't leave her husband if they've been together for a long time. She is too afraid to do that. She'll continue keeping her old husband close to her, in addition to her new affair.
wow. i'm going to take a huge risk and not going to read this whole thread, because this subject sort of sickens me. but sage, you've struck me as an amoral bastard from everything i've read on here. so... if you are considering this... i hope you get what's coming to you. you realize, you may very well die just because your fool virgin ass falls for any woman he comes near.
hey, you know what? FUCK YOU! Before you go around insulting someone you need to read the fucking thread and not just the title. I have no respect for you whatsoever and this is the only time I'm going to reply to your posts because I feel that someone neds to inform you of what a FUCKING IDIOT you are. Do you know how many times I've said that I will not under any circumstance do anything sexual with her and that it is absolutely not debatable (in response to those encouraging me to go for it). Secondly, yes I know I'm going to die. You're going to die too. We're all going to die. But, FYI, I've only actually gone through with it with 4 women. You got one thing right, though- my ass is virgin. I've never let anyone pu their winkie in it. But, right now I would really like to tear into yours for being a moron. Of coruse, I'm sure that I'd have to get into the long line of other people waitint for a go at it and I really dont have the time to waste on such things.
NOW THEN, to everyone else:
I talked to her last night for a while about whats going on inside her and how she is feeling about everything. It seems that this is really just an outlet for her caused by existing problems in her marriage (they have actually discussed divorce in the past). I'm going to suggest that she consider asking him if he would like to try coupples counciling. I think that whatever happens, they need to come to a conclusion before she and I let anything between us develope further- either they work out their issues and are happy with just each other or decide that the marriage isnt right for them and have an amicable divorce.
John Reynolds
21-Jul-2005, 14:59
That's really not what it's like. You seem to see this as some kind of payback/justification type of thing. "If he/she can do it, so can I!". That's not it at all. It has more to do with Humans being social creatures, and that flirting with the opposite sex helps us to feel confident about ourselves. Part of loving a person is realizing that you need to let them be themselves, and have a certain degree of independence. In my humble opinion, trying to hold someone too close and demand their exclusive attention is a recipe for disaster in almost all circumstances. This is why I don't mind my wife flirting and getting compliments from (some) guys, and why my wife treats me the same way. We both have limits we expect from the other (neither of us like each other flirting with people who use it to make themselves feel good at the other's expense).
Still, having the freedom to both be in a loving relationship and enjoy interacting with other people (especially of the opposite sex!) is absolutely fantastic. It's like having your cake and eating it too. You get the best benefits of being single and the best benefits of being in a relationship, and minimizing many of the downsides of both.
Really, that is what it all comes down to. Maximizing the benefits for both of us, while minimizing the costs.
Nite_Hawk
Once again, exactly.
poopypoo
21-Jul-2005, 16:39
Fair enough, Sage, I should have read the entire thread, and now have. I'm glad that you're not considering it. A more reasoned way of saying what I was saying is this: maybe this guy isn't even a good friend, but if he means anything to you, you might want to take a step back and think of how he feels. If she means more to you than he does, that's one thing, but you should seriously consider getting out more. There's no need to risk ruining your work situation, not to mention your friendship with both of them, when you could just go out to a bar, pick up some cute chubby gal and see what happens. Think about it -- if their marriage is going to fail, it doesn't need your help. Then you can still make the choice of who you'd rather be friends with, and you can be an honest man about it.
Fair enough, Sage, I should have read the entire thread, and now have. I'm glad that you're not considering it. A more reasoned way of saying what I was saying is this: maybe this guy isn't even a good friend, but if he means anything to you, you might want to take a step back and think of how he feels. If she means more to you than he does, that's one thing, but you should seriously consider getting out more. There's no need to risk ruining your work situation, not to mention your friendship with both of them, when you could just go out to a bar, pick up some cute chubby gal and see what happens. Think about it -- if their marriage is going to fail, it doesn't need your help. Then you can still make the choice of who you'd rather be friends with, and you can be an honest man about it.
okay, nice to see you've changed your tune. I know exactly how he feels, I'm trying to avoid anything happening (or him THINKING somethings happening even if its not) that will upset him. I'm not sure how she's feeling at this exact moment but what I'm trying to wanting to happen here is for her to work out what her feelings are about her husband and their marriage before anything further happens between she and I. Hopefully, whatever happens, noone gets hurt. I know that their marriage isnt all peaches and strawberrys so maybe they would be happier apart, but I think that you shouldnt throw away a marriage without putting an effort into trying to resolve whatever problems you have. I think I need to take a step back (not totally cut her off, though) and let things get settled before I get involved again.
Kanyamagufa
21-Jul-2005, 23:44
I hope things work out, Sage.
After everything else, that's all I feel I need to say.
I hope things work out, Sage.
After everything else, that's all I feel I need to say.
thanks, that's all i really need anyone to say. its greatly appreciated :)
deathstar121
22-Jul-2005, 07:52
I have been there Sage and I took my friends wife from him and married her, before the entire forums hate me, hear me out. As a man I have my morales and values, I don't believe in hitting a woman even if she's being the biggest bitch in the world, I will walk out the door and let her nag away, and I don't believe in cheating once I am in a serious relationship, when I met this guy I never knew he was married because he had his own place, and there was never any ring on his finger, our friendship lasted 5 years, and in 4 of those years never knew he was married, but it was strange that in those 4 years he had dissappeared a few times for weeks, well when he vanished and his parents wouldn't tell me where he was, so i got concern.
So after the last time he vanish he finally told me that he was married, and he was seperated from her for 4 years which was the biggest lie, so I met her and we became kool friends, plus I had so much respect for my friend even when she tried to tell me about him, I told her I had to leave once I notice that she was trying to say something to me, he vanish again well I was like his parents are hiding something from me, so went to look for him at his wife's house, when I got there she had a broken arm and busted up face, so I was like WHO THE FUCK DID THIS I WILL KILL HIM, thinking that my friend was in trouble, then she told me and I was in shock, I couldn't believe it and all those times he had vanish he was in jail, and because she was in a abusive relationship she was the kind of women that would drop the charges every time he lost it, and took it out on her.
This guy was a piece of work, and so was his family they were hiding the truth from everyone, all the people on the block where lived thought he was the greatest person in the world, so I confronted him about it he wanted to fight me, I mean this guy thought I was his enemy, our friendship was over just like, then I became friends with her, married her, and let me tell you some thing this guy had a supermodel angel for a wife, the most kindest most in the world, in our 8 years of marriage we have only had 5 fights.
To think that this guy had a supermodel wife, and she was an angel at heart kinda told you some thing was wrong with him, because I have seen him sleep with some fat ugly chicks even dated them for a few months, I know my situtation is different from yours, and because what I did, my best friend who I grew up with don't even trust me around his wife, he thinks I will sleep with his wife, because we joke alot and get along so well, most of my friends don't understand the situation and up to this day they said what I did was wrong, but if I didn't do that he would have killed her, plus i didn't do it to save her from him, because I wanted to be some kinda of hero, if you see my wife you would want her too, she can pose for victoria secret.
Even if she divorced him just to be with you, who says it can't happen again to you, my situation is very different from yours, my choice was easy and even though most of my friends look at me funny, I would do it again in a heart beat.
ricercar
22-Jul-2005, 08:36
She's sad and lonely and mad and confused. Perhaps even vengeful. As their friend, you should help them both work things out to stay together. Professional counseling is likely the best guidance. Don't get caught in the middle.
<- was in the "Kim"situation 4 years ago, kept the marriage alive, and am very happy.
yesterday i was with them both. seeing them being all affectionate towards her made me feel very very jealous and just a little pissed off, even a little like it was HIM messing with MY woman. so, that says to me she and I ARE in a relationship and we SHOULDNT be. I have to put a stop to this. I dont want to, I want to be with her so badly, I think I really am falling for her, but I know it could only end up in a horrible situation if I let this sort of thing continue while they are still married. And, even if they weren't married, I dont see how it could actually work out between us (even though I keep trying to convince myself that it could).
nutball
22-Jul-2005, 15:21
Yeah, from everything you've been saying over the past day or two, this smacks of very similar situations I've been in on a number of occasions, and honestly distance and time are pretty much the only solutions to the problems you're facing. You need to get yourself out of there.
They need to sort themselves out, one way or the other, split or make up, but that needs to happen between them. With things as they are it's not really practical for you to help, because whenever you're about her mind won't be focused on resolving their issues. You can't be the friend you maybe feel you should be, even with the best of intentions, but you have to accept that.
For your sake and for theirs you need to put time & distance between you and them. It's hard to do and hurts like hell, but for all concerned it's for the best in the end.
Nite_Hawk
22-Jul-2005, 15:27
yesterday i was with them both. seeing them being all affectionate towards her made me feel very very jealous and just a little pissed off, even a little like it was HIM messing with MY woman. so, that says to me she and I ARE in a relationship and we SHOULDNT be. I have to put a stop to this. I dont want to, I want to be with her so badly, I think I really am falling for her, but I know it could only end up in a horrible situation if I let this sort of thing continue while they are still married. And, even if they weren't married, I dont see how it could actually work out between us (even though I keep trying to convince myself that it could).
Sorry man, that really sucks. Just remember that like you said, in a month you'll be out of there and have a lot of new opportunities. For now just let her go. Honestly *you* shouldn't have to be the one to end it, but unfortunately it sounds like your going to have to.
My only advice at this point is to end it quietly. Don't make a big deal about it, just let it fade away. You'll have the best chance at keeping your friendship with your best friend, and maybe once your (and her) feelings have cooled down you can keep your friendship with her too (Maybe after you've gotten in another relationship or two).
Be prepared for a bit of a recoil though. She might be pissed at herself for liking you (and for you not acting when she was giving you the go-ahead signals) and blames you for it. She might be kind of cold to you if you stop "seeing" her.
Nite_Hawk
Be prepared for a bit of a recoil though. She might be pissed at herself for liking you (and for you not acting when she was giving you the go-ahead signals) and blames you for it.
Very well said, I had the exactly same situation a few months back and did NOT do it. She hates me since then, it was too much of an embarrassment for her (being "rejected").
And I also had the same thing another few months back and DID it. This one does not hate me and we are still friends.
In both cases there was a split, so the only thing different is that in the first case I had no sex and in the second I had fantastic sex. Nothing to lose as you can see, so I'll definitely go for it if I should have that situation again.
yeah, as much as I hate to do it, I know I have to 'dump' her. I'm going to try to do it monday. not sure if I will have the willpower or not (however there is a somewhat complicated matter that came up last night involving a possible 3-sum, not sure if i'd be okay with that and not sure if he would be but neither of us put our foot down and said no... it was her idea... the worst part, however, is that she wants us to use the same slot...)
John Reynolds
22-Jul-2005, 16:06
yeah, as much as I hate to do it, I know I have to 'dump' her. I'm going to try to do it monday. not sure if I will have the willpower or not (however there is a somewhat complicated matter that came up last night involving a possible 3-sum, not sure if i'd be okay with that and not sure if he would be but neither of us put our foot down and said no... it was her idea... the worst part, however, is that she wants us to use the same slot...)
Same slot at the same time? Kinky!
I've been joking in this thread so far, but in all seriousness just get out of the situation before it gets any uglier.
Nite_Hawk
22-Jul-2005, 16:36
yeah, as much as I hate to do it, I know I have to 'dump' her. I'm going to try to do it monday. not sure if I will have the willpower or not (however there is a somewhat complicated matter that came up last night involving a possible 3-sum, not sure if i'd be okay with that and not sure if he would be but neither of us put our foot down and said no... it was her idea... the worst part, however, is that she wants us to use the same slot...)
group sex and broken marriages are a very very bad combination.
Edit: Watch Y tu Mama Tambien.
Nite_Hawk
Same slot at the same time? Kinky!
I've been joking in this thread so far, but in all seriousness just get out of the situation before it gets any uglier.
not at the same TIME!!! switching between the two of us... still... wierd... i could see DP... but using the same slot... i mean, definitely protection, but even then... ewh
its a wierd fantasy but in reality, im going to get out of it and not do that.. just entertaining to think about heh
yeah, as much as I hate to do it, I know I have to 'dump' her. I'm going to try to do it monday. not sure if I will have the willpower or not (however there is a somewhat complicated matter that came up last night involving a possible 3-sum, not sure if i'd be okay with that and not sure if he would be but neither of us put our foot down and said no... it was her idea... the worst part, however, is that she wants us to use the same slot...)
Same slot at the same time? Kinky!
I've been joking in this thread so far, but in all seriousness just get out of the situation before it gets any uglier.
The way out: tell your "friend" that you are starting to develop certain feelings towards his wife and thus don't want to see them anymore since you don't want to cause any trouble. Say you're sorry, you really like them and don't want to spoil the feeling. Wish him luck and go.
To her, no more contact whatsoever. Not a single word.
If you really want it to end without trouble, that's the way to go.
On the other side:
If, and I mean IF after thoroughly analyzing yourself you see that you actually want to sleep with her sooo badly and don't give a f**k what happens afterwards (since you'll have no more contact with them both ways), then you should invite her over and as soon as she enters grab her and kiss her. You'll see the reaction. If she likes it, she'll join the game and if not, you'll apologize and then tell her another version of the same story above to avoid further complications as far as possible.
You decide. :twisted:
im going to do her in the elevator of the public library on moday
heh just kidding.... we did kinda joke about it last time we were there... i was like "i always wanted to do it in an elevator... and she goes "i was thinking the same thing!" but im not really going to do that. i would love more than anything to push her up against the wall of the elevator and kiss her just once to see what its like before I break things off completely but I feel that even that I cannot do, I'll know how it would feel
silence
22-Jul-2005, 20:30
im going to do her in the elevator of the public library on moday
7 pages to get to the bottom of it.... do her....
joo must not have read the fine print. im not really going to.
silence
22-Jul-2005, 20:49
joo must not have read the fine print. im not really going to.
my Firefox is setup in a way that smallest font on display is 10px, so there is no fine print for me....
i just see that you want her, made comments about doing her, she thought about same thing... i was reading this topic all along, but didnt post....
TBH, its so pointless on so many levels,so i posted what i had to say...
Sabastian
26-Jul-2005, 13:56
yesterday i was with them both. seeing them being all affectionate towards her made me feel very very jealous and just a little pissed off, even a little like it was HIM messing with MY woman. so, that says to me she and I ARE in a relationship and we SHOULDNT be. I have to put a stop to this. I dont want to, I want to be with her so badly, I think I really am falling for her, but I know it could only end up in a horrible situation if I let this sort of thing continue while they are still married. And, even if they weren't married, I dont see how it could actually work out between us (even though I keep trying to convince myself that it could).
LMAO...
Bah, thats not the mature "I can be frends" attitude you were espousing just a little while back. Sounds too me like she wants her cake and eat it too. Anyhow, this whole affiar is messed there really is no "good" solution. You can dump them both as frends, have her or continue with this crap until something happens.
In every relationship one partener is in the drivers seat the other is weaker because they like the other more. As such every relationship is unbalenced. Here we have a woman with no frends except you? If so I'd be inclined to think that if it weren't you it would be another. It also sounds as though the relationship is terribly weak.. no frends=insecure parteners and eventually I believe this will also lead to a breakdown .. ie: someones gonna get tired of it all. Prolly the one in the drivers seat.
Its too bad she's not all that "hot". If so its prolly not worth the trouble. ;)
Find some other frends.
I'd be inclined to think that if it weren't you it would be another.
Yup, just what I said a few pages ago.
Kanyamagufa
26-Jul-2005, 16:36
Looks like they ran off together... :roll:
C'mon Sage, you're killin' us!
John Reynolds
26-Jul-2005, 17:21
Or her husband killed him. That would be my response.
Was a bit lazy to read the entire thing but caught the jist of it. Like some have said, pork her and the many others that will undoubtedly cross your path. Good luck!
oops.
just got a call from him. apparently she told him. i should have taken you guys' advice. im such a bastard.
just got a call from him. apparently she told him. i should have taken you guys' advice. im such a bastard.
Learn from this, do it better next time.
Learn from this, do it better next time.
yup
Unknown Soldier
28-Jul-2005, 07:49
Learn from this, do it better next time.
yup
:lol: lol .. what's that? Screw her and leave her? :D
So she told him and he called you. And then what happened?
Learn from this, do it better next time.
yup
:lol: lol .. what's that? Screw her and leave her? :D
Either that, or don't get close to her at all. There are only these two options.
silence
28-Jul-2005, 09:41
well...if these are only options...then screw her...get something out of all this :wink:
So she told him and he called you. And then what happened?
BTW, what did she tell him in the first place?
well...if these are only options...then screw her...get something out of all this :wink:
I think that's not an option anymore...
silence
28-Jul-2005, 09:49
well...if these are only options...then screw her...get something out of all this :wink:
I think that's not an option anymore...
then i hope he learned from this....
yesterday i was with them both. seeing them being all affectionate towards her made me feel very very jealous and just a little pissed off, even a little like it was HIM messing with MY woman. so, that says to me she and I ARE in a relationship and we SHOULDNT be. I have to put a stop to this. I dont want to, I want to be with her so badly, I think I really am falling for her, but I know it could only end up in a horrible situation if I let this sort of thing continue while they are still married. And, even if they weren't married, I dont see how it could actually work out between us (even though I keep trying to convince myself that it could).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen_bomb
Do it!
Do it, now!
yeah im never going to get to talk to them again. apparently he already suspected something and he kept picking and poking at her until she finally admitted it. she's very honest and has a lot of troubble hiding things.
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 13:04
just got a call from him. apparently she told him. i should have taken you guys' advice. im such a bastard.
Told him what? Did you poke her?
silence
28-Jul-2005, 13:11
just got a call from him. apparently she told him. i should have taken you guys' advice. im such a bastard.
Told him what? Did you poke her?
question of the day..... :wink:
*sigh*
yes, i poked her. and i've never had an experience as wonderful as that. but then as soon as it was over the aftermath began and the aftermath is turning pretty bad.
i want to make it clear that i NEVER asked her to come over, i didnt ask her to do anything with me, all i did was go along with it. im still guilty and feel like shit for not stopping it when i should have but its not like i broke up a perfect marriage, it was already falling apart with ot without me... this thing just made it happen faster and, if there had been another guy available that she was close with then it would have been him instead. i think she was just trying to find a way out and i was it. I was sooo hoping that they would work things out last night not neccesarily completely but at least aggree to try to pull things back together. It seems, though, that it was already dieing and theres not much that can be done. Oh yes and I did suggest marriage councilling.. they already went through taht and it didnt help :cry: I know that all of this doesnt make what I did okay but at least I dont feel like i came in and killed something good.
Oh, you did poke her? Well, than you did the right thing. Lean back, relax, happy thoughts etc...
http://www.elitebastards.com/forum/images/smiles/hardrocker.gif
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
28-Jul-2005, 15:09
*sigh*
yes, i poked her. and i've never had an experience as wonderful as that. but then as soon as it was over the aftermath began and the aftermath is turning pretty bad.
Ha - I so told you. "Men and women can be just good friends" my arse. Well, you pretty much broke their marriage apart, got some guilty sex, and probably lost two good friends. I hope it was all worth it.
It didn't matter whatever was said on this thread. It's part of the human condition that people have to make their own screw-ups in life.
marriage was already broken, to be honest
nutball
28-Jul-2005, 15:14
Well, you pretty much broke their marriage apart, got some guilty sex, and probably lost two good friends. I hope it was all worth it.
Oh, bullcrap. I was waiting for the moralising to start :roll: Sorry, if a married woman shags a single guy, why the hell is the single guy solely responsible for what happens in their marriage?
NEWS FLASH: She took the marriage vows, not Sage!
Women aren't property you know. They're not dizzy air-headed little flowers who need men to do all their thinking for them and make sure they don't make silly mistakes.
Nite_Hawk
28-Jul-2005, 15:16
*sigh*
yes, i poked her. and i've never had an experience as wonderful as that. but then as soon as it was over the aftermath began and the aftermath is turning pretty bad.
Ha - I so told you. "Men and women can be just good friends" my arse. Well, you pretty much broke their marriage apart, got some guilty sex, and probably lost two good friends. I hope it was all worth it.
It didn't matter whatever was said on this thread. It's part of the human condition that people have to make their own screw-ups in life.
Meh, you can live by your reasoning, I'll live by mine. By your logic you'd think everyone would be screwing their sisters too.
Sage:
Good luck with it. I hope you used protection.
Nite_Hawk
They're not dizzy air-headed little flowers who need men to do all their thinking for them and make sure they don't make silly mistakes.
Indeed, but they like to play it that way, makes things easier for them ;)
BZB: crap. He didn't break their marriage, read the thread.
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 15:24
*sigh*
yes, i poked her. and i've never had an experience as wonderful as that. but then as soon as it was over the aftermath began and the aftermath is turning pretty bad.
Well, you know what you did was wrong but at this point all you can do is try to learn from the mistake and move on. There's nothing to be gained from non-constructively beating yourself up over what you (and she) did.
Good luck with it. I hope you used protection.
i was afraid someone would rbing this up. no. and she was ovulating. she was REALLY ovulating the night before, though, and she slept with him that night. so good chance she is... who knows who it would be by. and she's quite fertile as well, got pregnant a few months ago (miscarried) and they had only done it withoug blocking stuff 6 times.
Damn Sage, are you on crack? NEVER have sex without protection!!! Again, more clearly:
NEVER have sex without protection!!!
Damn Sage, are you on crack? NEVER have sex without protection!!! Again, more clearly:
NEVER have sex without protection!!!
well.. i never really have protection laying around because i never really get to have sex and if it sits there for like a year then its no good, right? and we didnt MEAN to actually go all of the way... it just started out mild, then eventually i was pounding at the gates to her fortress but not going to go in but after a bit she asked me if i wanted to and i said of course i did and she said ok and greeted my invading army with open arms.
Shoulda had a 3 some with her husband..! Couples that play together, stay together........
Mariner
28-Jul-2005, 16:36
well.. i never really have protection laying around because i never really get to have sex and if it sits there for like a year then its no good, right?
Nah - Condoms usually last a few years - they should have 'use-by' date printed on the packaging. At least, they do here in the UK.
It's always worth having a box hanging around, just in case!
So let me sum this up, you poked her, and you're now probably the real father of her first born child.
Ha ha! This made my day! :lol:
Buy at Amazon "From Over Scrupulous Nerd to Real Man in One Night Stand"- by Sage (http://www.beyond3d.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1056).
34% Off!
http://g-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/detail/buybox/pre-order-01.gif
Price: $16.47 and eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details
You Save: $8.48 (34%)
Availability: This title will be released on September, 2005. You may order it now and we will ship it to you when it arrives. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
silence
28-Jul-2005, 16:56
Good luck with it. I hope you used protection.
i was afraid someone would rbing this up. no. and she was ovulating. she was REALLY ovulating the night before, though, and she slept with him that night. so good chance she is... who knows who it would be by. and she's quite fertile as well, got pregnant a few months ago (miscarried) and they had only done it withoug blocking stuff 6 times.
FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN!!!!!!!!!!....... if she gets pregnant you will have to play "guess whos daddy" for some time......with guy that was your best friend.
i rather dont fuck, then fuck without protection......
Did you atleast pull out? Christ.
Nite_Hawk
28-Jul-2005, 17:47
Good luck with it. I hope you used protection.
i was afraid someone would rbing this up. no. and she was ovulating. she was REALLY ovulating the night before, though, and she slept with him that night. so good chance she is... who knows who it would be by. and she's quite fertile as well, got pregnant a few months ago (miscarried) and they had only done it withoug blocking stuff 6 times.
I don't know what kind of contact (if any) you have with them, but you may want to suggest that she ask her doctor about Emergency Contraception Pills. You should also get in to your doctor and get checked out for STDs. If the husband is sleeping around you never know.
Nite_Hawk
Kanyamagufa
28-Jul-2005, 18:36
Hey man, I hope you can feel better about all this...I know it can't be easy, but you'll make it.
Don't beat yourself up too badly - from what it sounds like, you were right about the marriage not lasting long. Don't blame yourself for it.
Again, I hope things work out.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
28-Jul-2005, 19:01
Oh, bullcrap. I was waiting for the moralising to start :roll: Sorry, if a married woman shags a single guy, why the hell is the single guy solely responsible for what happens in their marriage?
That's such a cop-out. It matters if you claim to be best friends of both parties, and thus looking out for their interests. Or doesn't the aftermath matter as long as you are getting your end away?
NEWS FLASH: She took the marriage vows, not Sage!
Women aren't property you know. They're not dizzy air-headed little flowers who need men to do all their thinking for them and make sure they don't make silly mistakes.
Oh right - Sage is the dizzy air-headed little flower who need women to do all their thinking for them and make sure he doesn't make silly mistakes like screwing your best friend's wife and losing important friends. He didn;t have any choice in the matter at all :roll:
You should read the thread - remember how at the beginning how Sage was telling us he was no way, no how going to sleep with his "best friend's" wife? Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?
If Sage hadn't been the one to finally break the marriage apart, he could have at least kept his friendships with both of them - but I guess that wasn't important enough. He knew what was going to happen, even if he didn't admit it to himself, and now he regrets what he did. Isn't Sage's guilt evidence enough that he broke his own morals?
Fact is he did what he did, now he's got to live with the consequences for his own life as well as those of his ex-friends.
Well Sage, time to light the cigar. :lol:
In all serious now, what's done is done and there's nothing you can do to change what happened. Move on. You're definately not responsible for the downfall of their marriage and there's no reason to take the blame on yourself either.
You certainly didn't to right thing towards your friend - but maybe the fact that his wife didn't do the right thing by him should tell him that it's best to move on as well.
I suggest you let it go, forget about it and enjoy the memory of doing her. At some point, she might come back to you after she and her husband sort things out and moves on. Maybe she won't. But hey, no point in wasting time thinking about it and feeling guilty. Take this experience to boost your ego and learn something out of this for next time.
Oh, and sleeping with her without protection wasn't a good idea. I hope it doesn't get more complicated for you - but in order to be able to move on, make sure you didn't get anything off her and hope the best she doesn't fall pregnant.
Actually, if I were you: I'd make pretty damn sure she isn't pregnant and that's basically just to do the right by yourself.
Sabastian
28-Jul-2005, 19:45
Well, gratz on your lucky night.. ;) :twisted:
Now.. go find some new "frends". Ether their relationship is toast or he can get over her wanting to get laid by someone else. IMO its no big deal. But people get all messed up with this shit. Possesiveness and insecurity are at the core of it all. She prolly still loves her husband .. just wanted something different. lol.. Hope it was worth the trouble. Commend you on having the nads to screw your best frends wife.. Now hide and hope he doesn't conspire to murder you and her. lol.... too much. She told him about what happend, go figure. Prolly trying to spruce up some very boring marriage/life. Poor thing :twisted: ..
The no protection thing always kinda sucks after teh fact. At the time though its definitly the way to go. I hate dam condoms. She should be on the pill though.. shakes head. If you get a child out of this abort it asap. It'll ruin your life/her life and possibly the childs.
Rolf.. thats the best man. Perfect. Move on, live and have fun.
Forget about getting into a relationship with her .. it would prolly just be a mess anyhow.
nutball
28-Jul-2005, 19:51
Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?
It is not beholden on him to have more respect for their vows than they themselves have. I must admit I'm not an expert on the precise wording of wedding vows, but I'm pretty sure they imply that shagging your husbands best mate is a no-no.
Joe DeFuria
28-Jul-2005, 20:04
If you get a child out of this abort it asap. It'll ruin your life/her life and possibly the childs.
Yes, facing responsibility for your actions is just wrong. :roll:
If a child comes out of this...be a man and accept the responsibility. Most likely it will turn your life around.
The morning after pill is good for about 2 days. You should seriosly look into it. There are even sites online that will call in the prescription for free.
Joe DeFuria
28-Jul-2005, 20:08
This is just....sad.
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 20:13
An unwanted, unloved child is a sad situation too.
Nite_Hawk
28-Jul-2005, 20:14
Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?
Actually, he really doesn't. Marriage vows are between a husband and wife. If my wife and I were to decide to get divorced it is no one elses business but our own to uphold those vows. Neither would I expect my friends to try to "save" our marriage nor would I hold any of them responsible for not saving it.
Sage failed as a friend, but he didn't make their marriage fail. Regardless of whether or not he actually had sex with her, she was willing either way. She had already committed adultry in her heart. The physical act was just the result of that.
Nite_Hawk
No offense, but that was a move of desperation. Now this is not my moral view or anything, just whatever. You boinked you buddy's wife and now you regret it. The sad thing is that you ruined a friendship for one night of passion. A night of hot passionate sex.... But still, you did ruin friendships over that.
Couldn't you find some random girl to sleep with instead? Or is this woman the only one that has actually been attracted to you in a long time? That's what I don't get.
Joe DeFuria
28-Jul-2005, 20:55
An unwanted, unloved child is a sad situation too.
Yes, it is. Sadder is a person unable (unwilling?) to love his own child.
In any case, I still can't escape the feeling that Sage is just trolling around with the "escapade of the month", but I'm rolling with it...
digitalwanderer
28-Jul-2005, 21:11
yes, i poked her.
Idiot, homewrecker, scum! :shock:
marriage was already broken, to be honest
Oh, you know that? From what you've described the marriage was on the rocks and they were working on fixing it, you just helped to make that totally impossible.
Again; idiot, homewrecker, scum!
This is just....sad.
Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.
Joe DeFuria
28-Jul-2005, 21:17
Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.
Possibly three....
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
28-Jul-2005, 21:19
Or are you suggesting that Sage had no moral responsibility to respect the vows of his good friend's marriage?
Actually, he really doesn't. Marriage vows are between a husband and wife. If my wife and I were to decide to get divorced it is no one elses business but our own to uphold those vows. Neither would I expect my friends to try to "save" our marriage nor would I hold any of them responsible for not saving it.
With regards to their marriage vows, that's correct. However, with regards to his friendships with the both of them, Sage had a responsibility to that friendship and a duty of respect to their marriage vows as his friends. You don't call a married couple your best friends and then participate in one partner's infidelity and breakup of that marriage. This is what he himself feels. Sage was obviously trying to do the best all around, obviously trying to make sure no one got hurt, and then that's exactly what he went and did.
Regardless of whether their marriage was on the way out or not, he himself became the instrument of final breakup. He was that final nail in the coffin, and because of that he's probably lost them both as friends, and probably lost any chance or seriously getting together with this woman that he obviously has feelings for.
Still, he's probably learned a great deal from this, and I'd suggest the most important thing is to realise that in these situations, it's human nature to fool yourself about what is really going on, and to not look at the long term consequences of your actions until it's too late. Sage is young, and that's when you do things like this that you wish you could do differently.
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 21:33
Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.
He fucked something, that's for sure. :twisted:
In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.
I've always felt guilty about screwing a good friend's wife back in '89, even though he'd left her months earlier for another woman. I regret it because it changed the nature of the friendship between the wife and myself, and when my friend found out about it the very next morning (he calls, she answers, I'm still lying in the bed, their 4-year-old daughter, awakened by the phone, walks into the room, sees me, and in her crystal glass-shattering little voice, loudly says, "Good morning, Uncle John!!"). He knows he just woke her up and hears that I'm there with her. Yep, ended that friendship, though he at least had the class to not indignantly confront me about it, all things considered.
Oh, and she was the aggressor: "I've fantasized about being with you for the past year." Bed sheets were moved aside (she'd called me over sounding upset late at night) and there she was naked. I rolled my saving throw, factored in the adjustment for my wisdom score (-4 to all saves), and failed. Great sex, though. . .he'd always bragged she gave great oral and he wasn't lying.
Nite_Hawk
28-Jul-2005, 21:35
Agreed, you just royally fucked over two lives for sure Sage...feel proud.
He fucked something, that's for sure. :twisted:
In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.
I've always felt guilty about screwing a good friend's wife back in '89, even though he'd left her months earlier for another woman. I regret it because it changed the nature of the friendship between the wife and myself, and when my friend found out about it the very next morning (he calls, she answers, I'm still lying in the bed, their 4-year-old daughter, awakened by the phone, walks into the room, sees me, and in her crystal glass-shattering little voice, loudly says, "Good morning, Uncle John!!"). He knows he just woke her up and hears that I'm there with her. Yep, ended that friendship, though he at least had the class to not indignantly confront me about it, all things considered.
Oh, and she was the aggressor: "I've fantasized about being with you for the past year." Bed sheets were moved aside (she'd called me over sounding upset late at night) and there she was naked. I rolled my saving throw, factored in the adjustment for my wisdom score (-4 to all saves), and failed. Great sex, though. . .he'd always bragged she gave great oral and he wasn't lying.
Are you sure your not remembering the plotline from some er.. gentleman's video? :shock:
:lol:
Nite_Hawk
Oh, you know that? From what you've described the marriage was on the rocks and they were working on fixing it, you just helped to make that totally impossible.
Again; idiot, homewrecker, scum!
I hope you know that there's 99 chances out 100 that Sage is just trolling around... You know that, tell me.
digitalwanderer
28-Jul-2005, 21:57
In all seriousness, let's not go overboard on being too judgmental toward the young lad. He knows what he did was wrong.
And he did it anyways, which is just unconsciousable and totally inexcusable to me.
I hope you know that there's 99 chances out 100 that Sage is just trolling around... You know that, tell me.
Yup, but my gut tells me he's not and even if he is my answer stands.
I have rather strong feelings on infidelity and its consequences, my Mom specialized in family law for about a decade....her first case being her own divorce from my father who cheated on her.
It fucks up a lot of people for a loooong time, it's not a "forgive and forget" kind of thing for me.
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 21:59
It fucks up a lot of people for a loooong time, it's not a "forgive and forget" kind of thing for me.
I think I could forgive my wife once if I truly believed that in her mind it was a mistake she deeply regretted rather than a situation of, "Damn, I got caught."
Of course if he was younger, with a head full of hair, well endowed, and better in bed than me (inconceivable!!), that might make it a little harder to recover from. 8)
digitalwanderer
28-Jul-2005, 22:07
I think I could forgive my wife once if I truly believed that in her mind it was a mistake she deeply regretted rather than a situation of, "Damn, I got caught."
A few years before I met my wife I got involved with a lady I had been really good friends with for a number of years. The relationship was great, but one drunken night she started making out with a mutual friend of ours and I walked in on them. I picked up a baseball bat and took a step forward; then stopped and dropped the bat and turned around and just left.
After a few weeks of her begging me I gave her another chance. It could have been just a "we were drunk and pulled a stupid", and I really did care for the lady.
Two weeks later it happened again. I didn't even think about violence this time, I just walked out and never looked back.
Fooled once shame on you, fooled twice shame on me.
You don't go fucking around with other peoples relationships, period. Why do you think cops hate domestic dispute calls more than any other type? You just never know how psycho a person can be until someone pushes just the right button.
Sage, consider your life in danger right now and watch your back. (No, not from me...I'm just disgusted with you as a human being....I'm talking about her hubby)
Sage, consider your life in danger right now and watch your back. (No, not from me...I'm just disgusted with you as a human being....I'm talking about her hubby)
b) Be a man about it, and enter interminable arguments about this.
That could leads to the suicide or homicidal death of one of the people involved. (Which is Kind of cool, when you think about it).
John Reynolds
28-Jul-2005, 22:28
Pipes: The Beyond3D Soap Opera.
digitalwanderer
28-Jul-2005, 22:32
Pipes: The Beyond3D Soap Opera.
Wrong thread? :?
Pipes: The Beyond3D Soap Opera.
Wrong thread? :?
Me thinks he was making a joke.. pipes.. beyong3d...
I could be wrong though :?
Pipes: The Beyond3D Soap Opera.
Wrong thread? :?
No, I think he's saying that this whole thread sounds like a soap opera. And what other name but Pipelines could you give to a B3D based show?
Although, for the show's name, I would try to include the word Extreme. Just for the sake of it.
Pipes: The Beyond3D Soap Opera.
Wrong thread? :?
No, I think he's saying that this whole thread sounds like a soap opera. And what other name but Pipelines could you give to a B3D based show?
Although, for the show's name, I would try to include the word Extreme. Just for the sake of it.
:wink:
John Reynolds
29-Jul-2005, 02:09
No, I think he's saying that this whole thread sounds like a soap opera. And what other name but Pipelines could you give to a B3D based show?
Although, for the show's name, I would try to include the word Extreme. Just for the sake of it.
Bingo! :P
i regretted it since the moment it happened. she still doesnt regret it one bit.
edit: by the way, looks like we are going to totally cut things off between us. shes going to talk to him and try to reconcile (she still wants a divorce though, thats really what this whole thing was about i think)
John Reynolds
29-Jul-2005, 02:39
I wonder if I can talk Dave into changing Sage's status as senior member to B3D Homewrecker? :twisted:
i know, im a terrible person... but, i think she helped me get over most of my sex issues, intimacy issues, trust issues (yeah ironic...), and issues with my parents. Can you imagine that? Sage... (semi-) normal human being!
digitalwanderer
29-Jul-2005, 04:53
i know, im a terrible person... but, i think she helped me get over most of my sex issues, intimacy issues, trust issues (yeah ironic...), and issues with my parents. Can you imagine that? Sage... (semi-) normal human being!
Normal human beings don't sleep with other people's wives, I think you are really reaching here.
You did a bad, a MAJOR bad...just be ready to be nailed with a whole bunch of consequences.
Best friends wife eh? Prolly not a good idea, unless she was really -the one- and you were madly in love.
Whats the old saying 'alls fair in love and war'? -Shrug- oldest story in the world.
I have no problem having an affair with a married woman (its her choice), but to do that to a great friend is wrong. I mean just find another one, lots of em out there
You did a bad, a MAJOR bad...just be ready to be nailed with a whole bunch of consequences.
Ah come on digi - the marriage was already wrecked up before the act took place. It was probably an act of desperation by her being in an unhappy marriage - it was waiting to happen one way or another. Who's to say that the marriage would still be intact if it weren't for Sage? There were definately issues within that marriage, or else she would never have been tempted to even think about feeling attracted to another guy let alone go out and have an affair. Sage fucked up major in regards to doing the right thing by his friend - but he certainly isn't the one to blame for their marriages downfall (which goes beyond the affair - the affair was just the "effect" - and not the cause).
Personally Sage, I think if you wanted to run away with her (and given that's something she wanted as well) - you should have not gotten intimate with her and make it clear to her that you are not getting involved before she gets her life into order. That way, you would have also done the "right" thing by your friend, her and ultimately yourself.
i know, im a terrible person... but, i think she helped me get over most of my sex issues, intimacy issues, trust issues (yeah ironic...), and issues with my parents. Can you imagine that? Sage... (semi-) normal human being!
Normal human beings don't sleep with other people's wives, I think you are really reaching here.
You did a bad, a MAJOR bad...just be ready to be nailed with a whole bunch of consequences.
Digi, it was HER who wanted it. Sage did the right thing. Don't forget what he was was like just a few months ago! This was a good thing for him.
And being altruistic didn't bring anyone very far.
i know, im a terrible person... but, i think she helped me get over most of my sex issues, intimacy issues, trust issues (yeah ironic...), and issues with my parents. Can you imagine that? Sage... (semi-) normal human being!
Just don't get too extatic about anything, those problems will always reappear and you always have to know what you're doing and think about the consequences BEFORE you do anything. Then, do what you think is right and you'll be fine even if it turns out that it was "wrong" for other people. That's the only way to be happy.
Oh, about that "friend" thing: it's his "best friend" at the moment, but they've been friends just for a few months, I get it? That's nothing like some real, long lasting friendship. No comparison.
Druga Runda
29-Jul-2005, 11:09
So let me sum this up, you poked her, and you're now probably the real father of her first born child.
Ha ha! This made my day! :lol:
Buy at Amazon "From Over Scrupulous Nerd to Real Man in One Night Stand"- by Sage (http://www.beyond3d.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1056).
34% Off!
http://g-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/detail/buybox/pre-order-01.gif
Price: $16.47 and eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details
You Save: $8.48 (34%)
Availability: This title will be released on September, 2005. You may order it now and we will ship it to you when it arrives. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
-----
as for you Sage, well what is done is done, and try to make the best out of what is left ;) people learn from mistakes and that is what life is... so move on, & check for STD's and similar, and in case the baby comes along than well check it out as it might depend on you -- in the meantime no need to worry as there is more than 50% chance this won't happen 8)
Sabastian
29-Jul-2005, 14:17
Well she would have done someone else .. and looks like she wanted a divorce anyhow. She doesn't regret anything .. sweet. ;) :twisted:
I think that some here are totally overreacting. Don't regret what you've done sage. Doing your best frends wife... man lol.. Thats quite something really. But whatever the outcome looks as though it was inevitable. She wanted out of the marriage and you've now given her a chance to break out of it. Do be careful with this fellow though he might be really unstable depending on his charactor.
Do be careful with this fellow though he might be really unstable depending on his charactor.
That's true... That's true.
You know what you have to do now, Sage, don't you?
Kill him before he kills you!
Get it? ...Sage? ....Is there anyone here? ...?
Oh, it seems that it's already too late...
/me makes note to self: Never every discuss my personal issues on this board :)
/maybe they should get things sorted out on Jerry Springer.. :twisted:
just kidding :D
So... where's Sage?
heh @ some of you.
yeah he just defaulted to my best friend because... well... i kinda lost my other friends. And, actually, I'd say now that at the time she was actually my best friend (still is). So, i slept with my best friend. And he is not completely closed to reconcilliation... i tried to tell her not to close any doors but she seemed completely uninterested. She said that she wanted to do something for herself for once and make herself happy. Which doesnt mean just sleeping with me, it means she wants to be in charge of her own life and do what she wants to do. She needs to be able to be independant. Her family are all telling that she's being childish just for wanting to make herself happy and not careing how it makes them look. Remember, despite everything that's happened, she doesnt regret it and would do it again.
Intel17
29-Jul-2005, 18:39
Sage,
Try putting yourself in her husband's situation. It would be such an emotional scar to know that your best friend is taking advantage of his shaky marriage by having sex with his wife, and it's going to make him feel bad for a long, long time, and he's going to absolutely hate you.
I hope the sex was worth it.
Sage,
Try putting yourself in her husband's situation. It would be such an emotional scar to know that your best friend is taking advantage of his shaky marriage by having sex with his wife, and it's going to make him feel bad for a long, long time, and he's going to absolutely hate you.
I hope the sex was worth it.
go to hell, Tim. Well, maybe you're not tim. But I suspect he is around.
My dearest sage,
If this is the last time I have to tell you to no long communicate with my wife then so be it. I have pleaded with you to be a man and you are showing the opposite. Please do not communicate with her. She is confused and you only hurt the situation further. You don’t need to reply to this email.
Remember I am watching and listening.
Thanks.
Your best friend
Tim
Kanyamagufa
29-Jul-2005, 19:16
[quote]My dearest sage,
If this is the last time I have to tell you to no long communicate with my wife then so be it. I have pleaded with you to be a man and you are showing the opposite. Please do not communicate with her. She is confused and you only hurt the situation further. You don’t need to reply to this email.
Remember I am watching and listening.
Thanks.
Your best friend
Tim
That's kinda scary...I mean, this guy sounds relatively unpredictable and definately unstable. The threat is not so friendly either...
Keep yourself safe Sage.
Sage,
Try putting yourself in her husband's situation. It would be such an emotional scar to know that your best friend is taking advantage of his shaky marriage by having sex with his wife, and it's going to make him feel bad for a long, long time, and he's going to absolutely hate you.
I hope the sex was worth it.
go to hell, Tim. Well, maybe you're not tim. But I suspect he is around.
This thread is taking a turn for the better!
My dearest sage,
...
Remember I am watching and listening.
Thanks.
Your best friend
Tim
:twisted:
Whoa, this shit is what crazy stuff is made of.
I like it! I like it, I really, really like it! [/Debarge]
That's kinda scary...I mean, this guy sounds relatively unpredictable and definately unstable. The threat is not so friendly either...
Keep yourself safe Sage.
Don't listen to this, Sage!
Get this Tim before he gets you!
Or if you want to gain some respect from us (Ok, only from me), fight this dude in a duel! Yeah, a good ol' duel, damnit!
But not a coward duel with firearms, no. A duel with combat knife!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
I didnt post the phonecall he made to me yesterday morning... he said a few things, some of which included "so, if I ever see you like out on the street or something... well... you can imagine what I'll do... so, that's a threat." and "so, don't ever come to my door because I'm an expert pistolman." and "so, why dont you just go throw yourself off a bridge. fucker."
I didnt post the phonecall he made to me yesterday morning... he said a few things, some of which included "so, if I ever see you like out on the street or something... well... you can imagine what I'll do... so, that's a threat." and "so, don't ever come to my door because I'm an expert pistolman." and "so, why dont you just go throw yourself off a bridge. fucker."
Hmmm, his life is going to shit. You slept with his wife (do not really pretend to know how this would make you feel as you are not married). You were not thinking about anybody but yourself.
Do not minimize this by saying the relationship was already over and that she wanted it etc... It does not matter if she wanted it or not. She was still married and going through a very difficult and trying time. You simply took advantage of the situation and her emotional turmoil to get your rocks off. Nobody has benefitted from the situation and perhaps it has made all of the lives involved much worse. You should have been the friend you have claimed to be throughout this thread and helped her and her husband through this trying time. If you could not help then you leave it alone. If you needed to release some tension due to the "infatuation" between you and the wife, some lotion and a box of kleenex may have done wonders.
Now that the deed is done you have to live with the consequences which may include deeling with the husband. He is pissed, hurt, angry etc...and is possibly blaming you for the breakup of his marriage (which is most likely not true, but for him you are the easy scapegoat that allows him not to deal with the real issues). Personally I cannot blame or fault him for these feelings and if I were in his shoes I probably would be thinking the same thoughts.
My advice is to be very careful and take some steps to protect yourself as anything can happen when people are under a lot of stress and emotionally angry. And I would not be surprised if someday you get the shit kicked out of you (most likely not by the husband but by another one his friends or family. I see this happen all of the time). But as far as I am concerned you may actually deserve the ass-whopping. Sorry to say (and even though I do not post here a lot I do read this form everyday) that I have lost all respect for you over this whole situation.
digitalwanderer
29-Jul-2005, 22:35
Ah come on digi - the marriage was already wrecked up before the act took place. It was probably an act of desperation by her being in an unhappy marriage - it was waiting to happen one way or another. Who's to say that the marriage would still be intact if it weren't for Sage? There were definately issues within that marriage, or else she would never have been tempted to even think about feeling attracted to another guy let alone go out and have an affair. Sage fucked up major in regards to doing the right thing by his friend - but he certainly isn't the one to blame for their marriages downfall (which goes beyond the affair - the affair was just the "effect" - and not the cause).
I didn't say Sage did ruin their marriage, I said he did "major bad"....as in "a majorly bad thing".
I stand by my statement, I also stand by my warnings to him to watch his back for a while. A scorned husband is nothing to be taken lightly, add in the whole betraying a friend thing and it's potentially lethal.
Digi, it was HER who wanted it. Sage did the right thing. Don't forget what he was was like just a few months ago! This was a good thing for him.
See above. You really think this was a good thing for Sage? Let's see how it plays out before we pass judgement on that one.
And being altruistic didn't bring anyone very far.
It's worked out pretty well for me. :)
EDITED BITS: I missed a "say" and got busted in a ninja edit by Ti...I mean by Intel17
Intel17
29-Jul-2005, 22:37
Sage,
Try putting yourself in her husband's situation. It would be such an emotional scar to know that your best friend is taking advantage of his shaky marriage by having sex with his wife, and it's going to make him feel bad for a long, long time, and he's going to absolutely hate you.
I hope the sex was worth it.
go to hell, Tim. Well, maybe you're not tim. But I suspect he is around.
My dearest sage,
If this is the last time I have to tell you to no long communicate with my wife then so be it. I have pleaded with you to be a man and you are showing the opposite. Please do not communicate with her. She is confused and you only hurt the situation further. You don’t need to reply to this email.
Remember I am watching and listening.
Thanks.
Your best friend
Tim
How could I possibly be this Tim guy? Heh, I'm not old enough to get married.
Druga Runda
29-Jul-2005, 22:44
That's kinda scary...I mean, this guy sounds relatively unpredictable and definately unstable. The threat is not so friendly either...
Keep yourself safe Sage.
Don't listen to this, Sage!
Get this Tim before he gets you!
Or if you want to gain some respect from us (Ok, only from me), fight this dude in a duel! Yeah, a good ol' duel, damnit!
But not a coward duel with firearms, no. A duel with combat knife!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
ur crazy vysz :lol:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v351/MarnaVeign/Rocie/Duel2.jpg
oh well your last little comment sounded like him... and then that email.. so hrmh
Just tell him to fuck off. If he attacks you, don't fight him. Bring him into court afterwards and make some money out of that.
But whatever, it's time to stop seeing that weoman this way or the other. You helped her get out of herself but there's nothing more you can do for her. Do not start a relationship of any sort!
John Reynolds
30-Jul-2005, 01:32
Just tell him to fuck off. If he attacks you, don't fight him. Bring him into court afterwards and make some money out of that.
Now that's a manly course of action. Poke his wife and then willingly take the beating so you can hire a lawyer and heap financial on top of the emotional damage you've already given the person.
Intel17
30-Jul-2005, 01:47
oh well your last little comment sounded like him... and then that email.. so hrmh
No problem. I hope this situation can eventually be sorted out, but there seems to be extensive damage in their marriage now, and your friendship with the guy.
I ask you, put in this situation again, would you perform the same?
Kanyamagufa
30-Jul-2005, 01:52
There's no way you can move earlier is there? :wink:
It sounds like that will solve a lot of the issues as far as him aiming at you with his enhanced shock rifle goes...
Now that's a manly course of action. Poke his wife and then willingly take the beating so you can hire a lawyer and heap financial on top of the emotional damage you've already given the person.
well, he has suggested to me numerous times that I'm trying to ruin his entire life on purpose. I am, at this point, considering doing just that. Why? It's a control issue. He just got his dream job but I could very easily have that snatched right out from under him. I would like to call Kim up right now and ask her to go on that weekend trip with me like she was going to do (until he made a big deal about it and i suggested maybe she shouldnt. Hell, what am I talking about. I'm not that sadistic even though he is trying to manipulate me and control me and do the same to her to keep her in a marriage she is miserable in by scaring her and making her feel like she is a horrible person and everyone (even me) hates her. I know that right now he's probably filling her head with crap about me, saying that i said things or skewing things that i did to convince her that she was just a piece of meat to me and that now i hate her. And I despise him for doing that to her.
digitalwanderer
30-Jul-2005, 02:51
Why do I have the damndest feeling this just isn't going to end very well for any of the parties involved? :roll:
Y'know Sage, a very smart computer once said; "Sometimes the only way to win is not to play"....
....THIS IS MOST DEFINATELY ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!!!!!!!
yeah i just sent her an email in which i explained why i had agree'd with tim that i would stop communicating with her. i told her that i thought me being in the picture was going to interfere with whatever she and tim needed to work through. i explained i wasnt angry at her, nor should she be angry at tim for asking (more like demanding, threatening me if i didnt... but i didnt say that) me to do this. i told her that she needed to decide what she wanted and if i were talking to her it would just complicate things further.
i still hate him for being so controlling and manipulative, though
(he actually told her that i had kiddie porn on my computer...!!! Sure, i can understand how my super paranoia about someone getting into my computer because i absolutely will not allow ANYONE on my computer without me physically present, and i have VERY strict security on my connecion to the widy wide web [there is one thing that i use 2048-bit encryption to transmit] which i will not, under any circumstance, compromise... i wont even allow a computer which i dont have complete and exclusive administator rights over onto the same LAN... yes i see how that could make him think i had that sort of stuff but i dont and there is NO reason for him to assume that over some mob-related info or some such very proprietary info... and yet he presented this to her as FACT. Fucking bastard. Luckily, she said that she wouldnt judge me if i did. i sure hope she believed me that i didnt, though. that's the sort of thing that you cannot help but think very truely horribly of a person for, even if it were your own child/parent)
Nite_Hawk
30-Jul-2005, 03:35
Sage:
Dude, this situations is sounding more fucked up by the minute. She needs to get away from that guy, and you need to get away from both of them.
Good luck, I think you are going to need it.
Nite_Hawk
yeah.... the scary thing? the reason that i got along so well with that guy is that he thinks exactly like i do. we are so incredibly close to being the same person, and i probably will be a lot more like him when i'm that age (except that im getting treated for my bipolar and he refuses to admit that he is... im no doctor but i know exactly when my bipolar is kicking in and i see exactly the same things in him, but a lot more often [which will probably happen to me when im his age, too... except that i'll be on meds to help minimize it])
digitalwanderer
30-Jul-2005, 03:48
No more contact with them, change the places you go to and the ways you go to from work, and be more paranoid than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
No hanging around any spots either of them may be at, think about changing your job and consider moving...I am NOT kidding!
No more contact with them, change the places you go to and the ways you go to from work, and be more paranoid than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
No hanging around any spots either of them may be at, think about changing your job and consider moving...I am NOT kidding!
actually ive had a moving date for a few months.
but im glad to see that you dont completely hate my guts, digi. i thought that, after the things you said, you wouldnt want anything to do with me and wouldnt give a shit if i died a pitiful, painful death.
John Reynolds
30-Jul-2005, 04:28
Good lord, I can't take the estrogen levels of this drama.
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of All Our Overdraw.
digitalwanderer
30-Jul-2005, 05:14
Dude, if I were the husband I wouldn't kill ya....but I'd handcuff you naked to a tree in the middle of no where and explain in excruciating details just how wrong and bad a thing you did, with a baseball bat.
I'm just letting you know that you could be in a whole lot more serious shit than you could possibly imagine, until you've been jilted like that you have no idea on how you'll react.
I was dating a girl once, she started going to Purdue LaFayette about 90 miles south of here. One night she called me to tell me it was over and to let me know that she was in and had been in a relationship with a mutual friend of ours who was going to school down there.
The next thing I knew I was taking the off-ramp to the LaFayette campus with a Mossburg 500 fully loaded in my passenger seat. I still have no conscious recollection whatsoever of the hour+ drive down there, it was like I just woke up about 6 miles from where they were with a loaded weapon.
I pulled over and shook for a while, then drove home and gave all my weapons to my Dad for safe keeping for a while.
Don't for a second underestimate just how batshit crazy love can make people, and you are right now in the middle of a very bad scene.
Kanyamagufa
30-Jul-2005, 05:32
I have to agree with digi. You need to get yourself out of this situation pronto. Like now.
I can understand you identifying with this guy and recognizing his symptoms, but you are clearly not him. It sounds like he has a number of his own issues to work out and it would probably be most beneficial if you weren't there when he did. It doesn't sound like it'll be easy for him to get over this, and with her playing along, it might take a while.
You should walk away...
With her acting the way she is and him the way he is, if you stay involved someone's going to get the shit beat out of them.
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
30-Jul-2005, 10:04
Sage, this is a completely fucked up situation, and even though you are to blame for a big chunk of it, if you've got any sense you'll make sure you're not sitting in the middle of it for one second longer than you have to. Your choices are to walk away or prepare for war. The former makes a lot more sense.
Heh anyone elses bs meter going into a red zone?
Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.
30-Jul-2005, 12:17
Heh anyone elses bs meter going into a red zone?
Could be, but this is exactly the sort of stupid thing that Sage does, so benefit of the doubt I suppose... :D
vBulletin® v3.8.6, Copyright ©2000-2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.