best friend's wife (uh-oh) [Archive] - Page 2

Nite_Hawk

30-Jul-2005, 13:12

Heh anyone elses bs meter going into a red zone?

If you assume the initial part of the story is true the rest makes enough sense. Still, there is always the chance I suppose. I knew this girl in highschool who asked me out like 3 times. I told her no each time, but she started calling me with all of these stories. They started out believable enough, but to keep me on the line she made up more and more elaborate stories, eventually saying that her dad and brother were raping and beating her.

I managed to get her psychiatrists name out of her, called her up, let her know what she said (found out none of it was real) and stopped talking to the girl. She even claimed she had tried to commit suicide (slashing her wrists) while talking to me on the phone. She had cut the tops of her wrists rather than the bottoms, and as her psychiatrist put it, it looked more like scratches from a cat. Her record was calling me 7 times in one day. Pretty crazy shit.

Nite_Hawk

John Reynolds

30-Jul-2005, 14:31

If you assume the initial part of the story is true the rest makes enough sense. Still, there is always the chance I suppose. I knew this girl in highschool who asked me out like 3 times. I told her no each time, but she started calling me with all of these stories. They started out believable enough, but to keep me on the line she made up more and more elaborate stories, eventually saying that her dad and brother were raping and beating her.

I managed to get her psychiatrists name out of her, called her up, let her know what she said (found out none of it was real) and stopped talking to the girl. She even claimed she had tried to commit suicide (slashing her wrists) while talking to me on the phone. She had cut the tops of her wrists rather than the bottoms, and as her psychiatrist put it, it looked more like scratches from a cat. Her record was calling me 7 times in one day. Pretty crazy shit.

Nite_Hawk

Back in late '88 I'd fooled around with this girl who was half Japanese, half American. Cute as a button, but as I got to know her better it became rather obvious she wasn't quite hinged right. So I tried distancing myself from her, gently at first, but she didn't take the hint too well. She started following me from work to wherever I was going; one night after work I went to a friend's house to watch a movie he'd rented and she sat in her car in front of his house (it was winter too) the entire time. My friend asked if I was going outside to talk to her and I said no, knowing that the direct contact, however negative, was exactly what she wanted. I went out on a date with a different girl and after we'd been at the restaurant for awhile I looked over and there was this girl at another table watching us. Even almost two year laters when my girlfriend (future wife) and I moved into an apartment, that very day we saw her drive through the apartment complex. How she'd learned where I'd moved to that very day is a complete mystery to me. She was definitely my non-fatal attraction.

I just chalk it up to my amazing prowess in bed. Poor thing knew she'd never have sex like that again and was desperate facing the alternatives. :twisted:

_xxx_

30-Jul-2005, 14:32

And being altruistic didn't bring anyone very far.
It's worked out pretty well for me. :)

Don't mix up being good and friendly with altruistic. Two different things.

_xxx_

30-Jul-2005, 14:35

Just tell him to fuck off. If he attacks you, don't fight him. Bring him into court afterwards and make some money out of that.

Now that's a manly course of action. Poke his wife and then willingly take the beating so you can hire a lawyer and heap financial on top of the emotional damage you've already given the person.

It's not Sage's fault that he's a wimp. So that would all be his fault. If the guy could let go, he'd be able to start a new, better life instead of clinching on long dead relationships and suffering because of that. Or doing some crazy things like physically attacking people.

_xxx_

30-Jul-2005, 14:37

Why do I have the damndest feeling this just isn't going to end very well for any of the parties involved? :roll:

Y'know Sage, a very smart computer once said; "Sometimes the only way to win is not to play"....

....THIS IS MOST DEFINATELY ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!!!!!!!

Yup, I absolutely agree!

EDIT:

One more thing: if the guy really wanted to harm Sage, he would have done it already instead of talking about it. To put it that way, dogs which bark don't bite.

So you should just comletely ignore them with all their emotional issues and just relax.

Sage

30-Jul-2005, 16:44

Well, _xxx_, the guy is bipolar and very unpredictable. she honestly believed, at first, that if she told him he would kill her and / or himself right then and there because he's so impulsive and unstable. He has, in the past, held a gun to his forehead threatening to kill himself in front of her. So, who knows what could set him of...

...and lets not forget the possibility of her being pregnant. will probably find that out in another week or so. I dont know what he will do if it turns out she is (im sure he'll immediately assume that it just must be mine, even though he did it first and on her very peak day). She said hat the thing that realy REALY got to him was that i actually left my seed inside her. I think that he now see's heras being defiled, a used up piece of trash. Especially judging by some of the comments he's made to me ("i dont care, you can use up whatever's left of her")

John Reynolds

30-Jul-2005, 16:49

OK, where's that BS meter gif? It's tacking hard into the red for me now, too.

Sage

30-Jul-2005, 18:19

OK, where's that BS meter gif? It's tacking hard into the red for me now, too.

guys, i can see how this could be easily seen as an elaborate story to get attention for myself, espcially considering how I often do outageous stuff to get it... however, consider what im willing to do to get attention, and then think about how it would makeme feel to have someone totally enamoured in me, thinking about me constantly, and just someone for whom cuddling with me made her feel happy and safe. for me to be that person that someone could look to for comfort and love. dont you realize how badly i want that and how wonderful it would be to find? Yes I suppose that i could be making it all up to give myself a few moments in which i believed the illusion... but is it not easy for you to see that it's also entirely possible that such a thing could happen to me?

and, to be honest, if i were going to make something up it wold be all happiness and butterflies, not a situation in which i lost the only friends i had left, and especialy not one where i made someone so miserable.

IbaneZ

30-Jul-2005, 19:01

Life's too short. Get the max out of it and stop thinking so much.
If you want to bone here, go for it. You know your friend would've done the same.

Dave

30-Jul-2005, 19:35

Back in late '88 I'd fooled around with this girl who was half Japanese, half American. Cute as a button, but as I got to know her better it became rather obvious she wasn't quite hinged right. So I tried distancing myself from her, gently at first, but she didn't take the hint too well. She started following me from work to wherever I was going; one night after work I went to a friend's house to watch a movie he'd rented and she sat in her car in front of his house (it was winter too) the entire time. My friend asked if I was going outside to talk to her and I said no, knowing that the direct contact, however negative, was exactly what she wanted. I went out on a date with a different girl and after we'd been at the restaurant for awhile I looked over and there was this girl at another table watching us. Even almost two year laters when my girlfriend (future wife) and I moved into an apartment, that very day we saw her drive through the apartment complex. How she'd learned where I'd moved to that very day is a complete mystery to me. She was definitely my non-fatal attraction.

I just chalk it up to my amazing prowess in bed. Poor thing knew she'd never have sex like that again and was desperate facing the alternatives. :twisted:

John.. just admit it was a man. I know better.

digitalwanderer

30-Jul-2005, 19:49

One more thing: if the guy really wanted to harm Sage, he would have done it already instead of talking about it. To put it that way, dogs which bark don't bite.

So you should just comletely ignore them with all their emotional issues and just relax.
Uhm, yes and no. Yes the guy obviously didn't really intend it this time, but what if his wife throws something about Sage in his face in a few days and it enrages the guy all over again and this time he don't exercise self-control?

It's a volatile as hell situation and will be for a while, I really recomend to Sage to seperate and distance himself from it as much as humanly possible.

John Reynolds

30-Jul-2005, 19:55

John.. just admit it was a man. I know better.

Debbie is a strange name for a man.

MuFu

30-Jul-2005, 20:09

best friend's wife (uh-oh)

Yep.

linthat22

30-Jul-2005, 21:26

..except that im getting treated for my bipolar and he refuses to admit that he is... im no doctor but i know exactly when my bipolar is kicking in...

Ever thought about taking Cacao beans to see if it will work? (http://www.rawfood.com/cgi-bin/order/index.cgi?id=411133131895&c=Organic_Food) There's a book called 'Naked Chocolate' and I thought hearing the author say that the cacao bean can treat symptoms of bipolar and manic depressiveness among other things.

Geo

30-Jul-2005, 22:31

Jaysus! 14 freakin' pages on my best friend's wife?? Ridiculuous!! F**K or DO NOT F**K. Move on from there.

Puh-lease.

John Reynolds

30-Jul-2005, 22:48

Jaysus! 14 freakin' pages on my best friend's wife?? Ridiculuous!! F**K or DO NOT F**K. Move on from there.

Puh-lease.

I suspect Sage has derived more titillation from this thread than the act of banging his friend's wife. 8)

Geo

30-Jul-2005, 23:03

I suspect Sage has derived more titillation from this thread than the act of banging his friend's wife. 8)

Well, I haven't personally experienced the best friend's wife's titills, but it does seem likely!

Sage

31-Jul-2005, 00:02

it was the best thing that ever happened to me. nothing, especially this thread, can compare.

actually this thread has been somewhat distressing to me at times.

_xxx_

31-Jul-2005, 02:03

But it gave you some suggestions/alternatives to think about, so you learned at least something.

Kanyamagufa

31-Jul-2005, 04:24

Sage

31-Jul-2005, 05:10

it was the best thing that ever happened to me. nothing, especially this thread, can compare.

actually this thread has been somewhat distressing to me at times.

Completely understandable. I think everyone feels that way...

yes but i do thank you all for listening to and talking to me about this as i really have had noone else that i could talk to.

Tahir2

31-Jul-2005, 19:16

Sage mate, what you did, no matter which way you look at, it was evil.

Well done.

digitalwanderer

31-Jul-2005, 19:21

Completely understandable. I think everyone feels that way...
Not I. Disgust, revulsion, and completely and utterly aghast would much better describe my feelings. :(

CosmoKramer

31-Jul-2005, 19:56

Sage mate, what you did, no matter which way you look at, it was evil.

Well done.

What is a fitting punishment in your view?

Tahir2

31-Jul-2005, 22:35

So how do I use the ignore feature?

Sorted I think.

Kanyamagufa

31-Jul-2005, 22:47

Not I. Disgust, revulsion, and completely and utterly aghast would much better describe my feelings. :(

I was talking about his reaction to the thread, Digi...

John Reynolds

31-Jul-2005, 22:56

What is a fitting punishment in your view?

Castration is appropriate, me thinks.

Nite_Hawk

01-Aug-2005, 04:51

Castration is appropriate, me thinks.

Hrm... that seems like it would be more appropriate if sage cut off his weenie. You know, the whole "eye for an eye" thing.

So, with that in mind...

Nite_Hawk

Sage

01-Aug-2005, 15:39

Nite_Hawk

01-Aug-2005, 17:11

BIG WHOOP-DE-DOO! Okay, so I slept with a married woman, now her husband is miserable.

you know what? i dont regret it anymore. she's HAPPIER now! It made her life BETTER! I'm glad that I was able to make her feel better about herself and her life. Sure, I could have handled it better (namel not actually putting it in her...) BUT the relationship was NOT a mistake. Yeah yeah she's married bla bla bla. I decided to stop letting people make me feel bad because of that. Being married does not mean you are a slave to the other person- marriage is for two people who are HAPPY together, if you're not happy and you've made a resonable effort to work out your problems thant you shouldnt be bound to each other! The whole POINT of marriage is because you find someone you LIKE spending your life with. Nono, I am not going to let you people try and make me feel guilty for making her happy and helping her get out of a miserable marriage!

Would you say the same thing if she ended up miserable and alone?

Don't fool yourself into thinking what you did was for her. You slept with her because *you* wanted it, and you were *not* thinking about the consequences (unless you wanted her to have your child). If it happens that she gets out of a bad marriage because of it you can consider it a silver lining. You just better hope she doesn't get beaten or killed by her husband before this is all over because of it. How would *that* make you feel?

Nite_Hawk

Farid

01-Aug-2005, 17:15

Married women..., let me help you..., let me fuck you. Once I screw you up, your life will be better. Yes, that's right, better.

http://www.beyond3d.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_lol.gif

Bouncing Zabaglione Bros.

01-Aug-2005, 17:23

BIG WHOOP-DE-DOO! Okay, so I learned nothing from my experiences. I am older, but no wiser. I'm the same old dumbass I ever was, but at least I got laid.

Just corrected the above for you. :roll:

Farid

01-Aug-2005, 17:32

My version is better, BZB.

Sage

01-Aug-2005, 17:37

hey, im going by what she keeps telling me. You know, a LOT of people get married before they know each other well enough and end up both in an unhappy relationsip. hell, before this he had told me that he seriously consideres leaving her sometimes.

John Reynolds

01-Aug-2005, 17:38

digitalwanderer

01-Aug-2005, 17:46

BIG WHOOP-DE-DOO! Okay, so I slept with a married woman, now her husband is miserable.

you know what? i dont regret it anymore. she's HAPPIER now! It made her life BETTER! I'm glad that I was able to make her feel better about herself and her life. Sure, I could have handled it better (namel not actually putting it in her...) BUT the relationship was NOT a mistake. Yeah yeah she's married bla bla bla. I decided to stop letting people make me feel bad because of that. Being married does not mean you are a slave to the other person- marriage is for two people who are HAPPY together, if you're not happy and you've made a resonable effort to work out your problems thant you shouldnt be bound to each other! The whole POINT of marriage is because you find someone you LIKE spending your life with. Nono, I am not going to let you people try and make me feel guilty for making her happy and helping her get out of a miserable marriage!
Ok, I get it now...you're a totally self-absorbed moron who cares nothing for other people.

What is that, a dumb sociopath?

CosmoKramer

02-Aug-2005, 02:08

What is that, a dumb sociopath?

Yep.

Kanyamagufa

02-Aug-2005, 02:45

Something tells me this is going to get a lot uglier real fast...

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 02:57

People are too judgemental. I was joking about the castration, though I do think Sage is skating right along that slippery slope of justifying his wrong actions. But to each his own. Won't be the last time someone's wife receives the pork sword from a man other than her husband (excuse my gift with words <g>).

Farid

02-Aug-2005, 03:00

Something tells me this is going to get a lot uglier real fast...
Nahhh!
Sage is just kiddin' around trying to troll some old, grumpy and bald folks.
He succeed quite well, I must admit.

/Runs from the marching army of shiny coneheads.

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 03:03

Nahhh!
Sage is just kiddin' around trying to troll some old, grumpy and bald folks.
He successed quite well, I must admit.

/Runs from the marching army of shiny coneheads.

Oh, how dare you? I am insulted!! I challenge you to a duel: whoever can blow-dry their hair the quickest wins.

Farid

02-Aug-2005, 03:14

:mrgreen:
You're not alone John, just fight the hairful Power!:

http://www.baldrus.com/

digitalwanderer

02-Aug-2005, 04:14

I challenge you to a duel: whoever can blow-dry their hair the quickest wins.
I'll accept that challenge, I'm starting to sport the full Picard look and I still keep it under 1/4" in length. 8)

Sabastian

02-Aug-2005, 06:07

Ok, I get it now...you're a totally self-absorbed moron who cares nothing for other people.

What is that, a dumb sociopath?

Hrm.. lets say your in a relationship.. married oh I don't know 10 years.. 4 years ago you realised that you weren't in love .. sometimes you even hated your partener. While you meet other people you would like to get to know but you just don't because your married. Your social life suffers greatly because you can't go out with your frends to the bar or parties because your wife doesn't approve. So to avoid the greif you settle for a very boring lifestyle.. go to work ... go home sleep.. repeat. Sounds like a fantastic life. Originally you thought you "loved" her.. and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her but what you wanted changed later on. Suddenly its not what you want anymore and you live your life sacrificeing what you want for someone else... who is in this arrangement "self absorbed" .. who here is the moron?

Lets put your wife in this position I've mentioned above. Would you prefer her to suffer through life miserable and unhappy just so you can have things all set in place for you? Wouldn't that be a tad self absorbed?

Marriage .. its not all its cracked up to be and the extremely high lvls of divorce are only proof of taht . But hey.. you don't lust after other women do you Dig? Cause if you did that would suggest that your current state of relationship (monogamy) is unnatural. If it was natural, then you wouldn't want other women would you? Bah.. stop all this moralizing and finger waving at Sage.. you guys sound liek a bunch of hens/bitches.

So lets all spare teh self righteouss condemnation of Sage having a little run in with a frend. Big freakin deal. This shit happens all the time.. so whats that mean? Next thing you know you'll start saying the old bible pounders "society is going to hell in a handbasket"..

DudeMiester

02-Aug-2005, 10:12

Hah, this is movie material! Lets call it "Bi-Polar Attraction"!

I have no pity for you Sage, no matter what, even if he snaps and kills you. You dug your own grave. There are WAY better ways of dealing with this situation.

Nite_Hawk

02-Aug-2005, 15:29

Hrm.. lets say your in a relationship.. married oh I don't know 10 years.. 4 years ago you realised that you weren't in love .. sometimes you even hated your partener. While you meet other people you would like to get to know but you just don't because your married. Your social life suffers greatly because you can't go out with your frends to the bar or parties because your wife doesn't approve. So to avoid the greif you settle for a very boring lifestyle.. go to work ... go home sleep.. repeat. Sounds like a fantastic life. Originally you thought you "loved" her.. and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her but what you wanted changed later on. Suddenly its not what you want anymore and you live your life sacrificeing what you want for someone else... who is in this arrangement "self absorbed" .. who here is the moron?

Lets put your wife in this position I've mentioned above. Would you prefer her to suffer through life miserable and unhappy just so you can have things all set in place for you? Wouldn't that be a tad self absorbed?

Marriage .. its not all its cracked up to be and the extremely high lvls of divorce are only proof of taht . But hey.. you don't lust after other women do you Dig? Cause if you did that would suggest that your current state of relationship (monogamy) is unnatural. If it was natural, then you wouldn't want other women would you? Bah.. stop all this moralizing and finger waving at Sage.. you guys sound liek a bunch of hens/bitches.

So lets all spare teh self righteouss condemnation of Sage having a little run in with a frend. Big freakin deal. This shit happens all the time.. so whats that mean? Next thing you know you'll start saying the old bible pounders "society is going to hell in a handbasket"..

Meh, I don't actually care about him sleeping with her that much. She made her own choices and whatever happens in their marriage isn't his fault. It just makes me angry seeing him try to claim that we are trying to make him feel guilty for "making her happy" and "helping her get out of a bad marriage". That's absolute bullshit. If that ends up being the case that's great, but he had no clue what was going to happen when he had sex with her. For all he knew she might have ended up regretting it for the rest of her life. I don't think it would have been his fault (again, she did it of her own free will), but if he's going to try to claim that his actions were ok because of the result, then he better be willing to accept that his action were bad if everything gets totally fucked up.

Nite_Hawk

digitalwanderer

02-Aug-2005, 16:08

Hrm.. lets say your in a relationship.. married oh I don't know 10 years.. 4 years ago you realised that you weren't in love .. sometimes you even hated your partener. While you meet other people you would like to get to know but you just don't because your married. Your social life suffers greatly because you can't go out with your frends to the bar or parties because your wife doesn't approve. So to avoid the greif you settle for a very boring lifestyle.. go to work ... go home sleep.. repeat. Sounds like a fantastic life. Originally you thought you "loved" her.. and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her but what you wanted changed later on. Suddenly its not what you want anymore and you live your life sacrificeing what you want for someone else... who is in this arrangement "self absorbed" .. who here is the moron?

Lets put your wife in this position I've mentioned above. Would you prefer her to suffer through life miserable and unhappy just so you can have things all set in place for you? Wouldn't that be a tad self absorbed?

Marriage .. its not all its cracked up to be and the extremely high lvls of divorce are only proof of taht . But hey.. you don't lust after other women do you Dig? Cause if you did that would suggest that your current state of relationship (monogamy) is unnatural. If it was natural, then you wouldn't want other women would you? Bah.. stop all this moralizing and finger waving at Sage.. you guys sound liek a bunch of hens/bitches.

So lets all spare teh self righteouss condemnation of Sage having a little run in with a frend. Big freakin deal. This shit happens all the time.. so whats that mean? Next thing you know you'll start saying the old bible pounders "society is going to hell in a handbasket"..
Funny bit about your analogy, my tenth anniversary is coming up in a few months. :)

If I had "stopped loving" my wife four years back I would have talked to her about it, I wouldn't have just kept it locked up and let resentment/unhapppiness build and then later used that as a justifcation for infidelity.

As you say, this shit does happen all the time...but I still condemn it and feel it's wrong and happen to think a whole lot less about a person if I learn they practice infidelity or don't see a problem with it.

Mebbe that's being all righteous on my high horse, I think it's just common sense...whatever, it's me.

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 16:35

My wife's wanted to celebrate our 13th here on the 11th (we lived in sin together for three years before getting married due to my apathy toward the institution of marriage) and, surprisingly enough, I'm still alive after saying, "You know, the Egyptians didn't make the Jews celebrate their years of bondage so why should I have to?"

My wife is a saint. :twisted:

Tim Murray

02-Aug-2005, 16:52

digitalwanderer

02-Aug-2005, 16:54

(we lived in sin together for three years before getting married due to my apathy toward the institution of marriage)
Me and my wife only lived in sin for about a year and a half, but that's because "we were just friends, we weren't dating". :roll:

Gads I am soooo glad she stopped speaking to her mother about 7 years ago! Life has been so much better. 8)

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 17:08

Aw, I love you too, John.

You're scaring me, Tim.

Nite_Hawk

02-Aug-2005, 17:11

You're scaring me, Tim.

Wait, wasn't Tim the name of the guy?

Nite_Hawk

digitalwanderer

02-Aug-2005, 17:18

Wait, wasn't Tim the name of the guy?
Yes, but this is a different scary Tim.

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 17:19

Yes, but this is a different scary Tim.

What's really scary is that Tim was in Cincinnati at a hotel last year and wanted me to drive down and meet him. I assumed meet him at a local restaurant or the hotel lobby, but now I'm not so sure. :twisted:

digitalwanderer

02-Aug-2005, 17:26

What's really scary is that Tim was in Cincinnati at a hotel last year and wanted me to drive down and meet him.
Are you quite certain he didn't mean "meat him"? :|

Tim Murray

02-Aug-2005, 20:00

John Reynolds

02-Aug-2005, 20:07

I actually just wanted to see how the light reflected off of his forehead and try to estimate how long it would take to have an effect like that in a game. Then again, that game might have been Doom 3--I'm not sure.

I would've emasculated you upon entering the same room.

Has this thread ran the gamut of perverted topics yet?

nutball

02-Aug-2005, 20:27

Has this thread ran the gamut of perverted topics yet?

No. There's been no mention of livestock yet.

RussSchultz

02-Aug-2005, 20:31

No. There's been no mention of livestock yet.
Wasn't Sage porking some filly?

/packing bags for hell

DudeMiester

03-Aug-2005, 01:29

I can correct that if need be. I know a few work-safe links.

Sage

04-Aug-2005, 18:40

(...)He better be willing to accept that his action were bad if everything gets totally fucked up.

well at first i did feel like shit because i thought i had fucked up her entire life, i felt like i had seduced and con'd her into it. But that was before I really got to talk to her about it afterwards. If she does end up unhappy of course I'm going to blame (hate) myself for the rest of my life for it.

banksie

05-Aug-2005, 01:22

If she does end up unhappy of course I'm going to blame (hate) myself for the rest of my life for it.

No, you won't. Even if it does end up in a seriously bad place you will rationalise it for yourself. It isn't that this is a bad thing so much to do - just stop trying to pretend to be something you aren't.

Sxotty

05-Aug-2005, 04:08

Um joy.

Digi that was a cool story, I skipped all the pages to the last one so maybe there was something else interesting, but I don't really give a shit about the drama, it seems stupid. I know that I too might do something crazy.

_xxx_

05-Aug-2005, 06:33

If she does end up unhappy of course I'm going to blame (hate) myself for the rest of my life for it.

Nonsense. Why should you? She's a grown up person and knows what she's doing.

And didn't I tell you that you should stop seeing her now?

rwolf

05-Aug-2005, 07:08

Ouch.

Sage people who are absorbed with themselves end up unhappy.

A real relationship involves putting the other person before yourself and vice versa.

_xxx_

05-Aug-2005, 07:25

A real relationship involves putting the other person before yourself and vice versa.

No! You should put noone before yourself. In a real relationship, there is love, respect and all, but not the option of becoming someone's personal slave.

Nite_Hawk

05-Aug-2005, 15:23

You put the mutual good before yourselves. That doesn't strictly mean that you put the other person before yourself all the time, and it doesn't mean you never put the other person before yourself. Generally it means that you compromise such that you both benefit.

Nite_Hawk

{Sniping}Waste

05-Aug-2005, 17:00

No! You should put noone before yourself. In a real relationship, there is love, respect and all, but not the option of becoming someone's personal slave.

Then theres no hope for you. You will never be realy happy and never know what happiness is. Putting ppl before yourself is real LOVE and if you can't see that then there is realy no hope for you.

digitalwanderer

05-Aug-2005, 17:03

Sage people who are absorbed with themselves end up unhappy.A real relationship involves putting the other person before yourself and vice versa.
Lots of good wisdom there, and it applies a great deal to me although I never really realized it 'til I read your post....same with the next:

You put the mutual good before yourselves. That doesn't strictly mean that you put the other person before yourself all the time, and it doesn't mean you never put the other person before yourself. Generally it means that you compromise such that you both benefit.
For me my family is the "mutual good", and that is my focus and primary concern...I just never realized how much happier of a person I have been since I started thinking/behaving that way.

I think I take the greatest joy out of life by bringing joy to others. :)

Kanyamagufa

05-Aug-2005, 20:03

I think I take the greatest joy out of life by bringing joy to others. :)

Bingo. Couldn't have put it better myself digi.

rwolf

06-Aug-2005, 06:41

No! You should put noone before yourself. In a real relationship, there is love, respect and all, but not the option of becoming someone's personal slave.

That might work for you, but for me kids and wife come first. Selflessness spawns selflessness and selfishness spawns selfishness.

digitalwanderer

06-Aug-2005, 07:00

Heh, I actually consider taking care of myself an important part of taking care of my family now....I've never been more serious about my health in my life 'cause I have to be so I can be there for my family.

_xxx_

06-Aug-2005, 14:37

That might work for you, but for me kids and wife come first. Selflessness spawns selflessness and selfishness spawns selfishness.

That has nothing to do with being selfish or egoistic. :roll:

It's just that you have to know, respect and love yourself in order to be able to respect and love someone else.

pakotlar

06-Aug-2005, 16:42

Anyone know what the word "baka" means? :roll:

I do and I agree with you, he is.

To Sage: Leave her alone. Forget you know her in any capacity other than as an aquaintance of your friend's. Don't spend time alone with her.

I do believe men and women can be friends in a capacity outside of a relationship, but honestly the friendship between and a woman is very different than one between two heterosexual men. In a relationship between a man and a woman, its not unusual for their to be sex involved at some point.

Why deny your sexual instincts? Higher-level brain function overrides a lot of instinct that man has developed (ex: thalmus and bladder-control), but you will never forget that instinct. Do yourself a favor and get out of this affair before you do anything stupid. A 30 minute fuck is not worth the insurmountable issues that will arise because of it.

Nite_Hawk

09-Aug-2005, 05:47

I do and I agree with you, he is.

To Sage: Leave her alone. Forget you know her in any capacity other than as an aquaintance of your friend's. Don't spend time alone with her.

I do believe men and women can be friends in a capacity outside of a relationship, but honestly the friendship between and a woman is very different than one between two heterosexual men. In a relationship between a man and a woman, its not unusual for their to be sex involved at some point.

Why deny your sexual instincts? Higher-level brain function overrides a lot of instinct that man has developed (ex: thalmus and bladder-control), but you will never forget that instinct. Do yourself a favor and get out of this affair before you do anything stupid. A 30 minute fuck is not worth the insurmountable issues that will arise because of it.

er... you're a little late...

Nite_Hawk